Life Quotes

Home / Life Quotes

One of the best things to do to improve your health is to laugh often. Improve your mood by reading these quotes about all the things life has to offer.

Childhood injuries: Fell off my bike, fell out of a tree, twisted my ankle. Adult injuries: Slept wrong, sat down too long, sneezed too hard.

Anonymous

I hate it when people ask me to watch their stuff. Like what happens if someone comes and actually tries to steal it? Do I have to fight them? I'm not ready.

Anonymous

If I had just one hour left to live, I'd spend it in Math class... it never ends. - Anonymous

If I had just one hour left to live, I'd spend it in Math class... it never ends.

Anonymous

What did my doctor tell me when I rushed into his office and told him I have 40 seconds to live? Hold on a minute! - Anonymous

What did my doctor tell me when I rushed into his office and told him I have 40 seconds to live? Hold on a minute!

Anonymous

Sponsored Links

I don't know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up. - Anonymous

I don't know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up.

Anonymous

I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I'm gonna need everybody to stop living here. - Anonymous

I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I'm gonna need everybody to stop living here.

Anonymous

Most of us don't realize it, but we're all part of something much bigger than ourselves, and we're all connected in some way, not just through Facebook. - Anonymous

Most of us don't realize it, but we're all part of something much bigger than ourselves, and we're all connected in some way, not just through Facebook.

Anonymous

Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.

Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.

Oscar Wilde

I don't mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years. - Anonymous

I don't mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.

Anonymous

Retirement is when you stop living at work, and start working at living. - Anonymous

Retirement is when you stop living at work, and start working at living.

Anonymous

Sponsored Links

Living on earth may be tough, but it includes a free ride around the sun every year.

Living on earth may be tough, but it includes a free ride around the sun every year.

Anonymous

If you can't laugh at your own problems, call me and I'll laugh at them. - Anonymous

If you can't laugh at your own problems, call me and I'll laugh at them.

Anonymous

I'm not frowning, I'm just smiling upside down.

I'm not frowning, I'm just smiling upside down.

Anonymous

Please cancel my subscription to your issues. - Anonymous

Please cancel my subscription to your issues.

Anonymous

I'm stuck between "I need to save money" and "You only live once." - Anonymous

I'm stuck between "I need to save money" and "You only live once."

Anonymous

Everything happening now happens because of everything that has happened before.

Everything happening now happens because of everything that has happened before.

Anonymous

I'm in desperate need of a 6 month vacation... twice a year.

I'm in desperate need of a 6 month vacation... twice a year.

Anonymous

Learn from the mistakes of others, you can never live long enough to make them all yourself. - Groucho Marx

Learn from the mistakes of others, you can never live long enough to make them all yourself.

Groucho Marx

Read More Funny Quotes

Recommended Sites

Search our Site