One of the best things to do to improve your health is to laugh often. Improve your mood by reading these quotes about all the things life has to offer.
Math is fun, it teaches you life and death information, like when you're cold, you should go to a corner since it's 90 degrees there.
I had an extremely busy day, converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.
Dear life, when I said "can this day get any worse" it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.
Cat life mice can foxes be wolves boring frogs but grasshopper let's swan love it cow anyhow. Now read it again without the animals.
Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say "I know it's hard, but you'll be okay. Here's a coffee and a million dollars."
Dance like nobody is watching, because they are not, they are all checking their phones.
I don't need a psychiatrist to prod into my personal life and make me tell them all my secrets, I have my friends for that.
Why must I prove that I am me when I pay bills over the phone? Did some else call to pay my bills, and if they did, why don't you let them?
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery and today is a gift. That's why we call it the "present."
I always say "morning" instead of "good morning", because if it was a good morning, I'd still be asleep.
I never made a mistake in my life. I thought I did once, but I was wrong.
What do I do for a living? I breathe in and out.
I think something's missing in my life... Like... 2-3 million dollars.
I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment.
If I had just one hour left to live, I'd spend it in Math class... it never ends.
Mom: Why is everything on the floor? Me: Gravity, mom.
Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation.
My silence spoke a thousand words, but you never heard them.
Life is like a very long TV show, without a remote control.
I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful.
Life's biggest struggle: I need to pee, but I don't want to get out of bed.
Be crazy, be stupid, be silly, be weird. Be whatever, because life is too short to be anything but happy.
If A is success in life, then A is equal to X plus Y plus Z. Work is X; Y is play; and Z - keeping your mouth shut.
I wish I was a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a long nap.
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