Facebook

Relationships these days start by pressing LIKE on her photo.

Anonymous

I want to change my name on Facebook to "Nobody," so when I see someone posting something stupid I can Like their post and it will say "Nobody likes this."

Anonymous

You don't know something? Google it. You don't know someone? Facebook it. You don't know where something is? MOM!

Anonymous

Facebook needs three buttons, "Like", "Dislike" and "Stop being stupid."

Anonymous

Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you're getting a dictionary.

Anonymous

You have Facebook? Yup. You have Whatsapp? Yup. You have love? Forgot to install it.

Anonymous

If I don't log into Facebook two days in a row, call the police, someone must've kidnapped me!

Anonymous

I'm sorry that I'm not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse.

Anonymous

I made my Facebook name "Benefits," so when you add me now it says "you're friends with benefits."

Anonymous

Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It's like Facebook in real life.

Anonymous

If my life was an action movie, my boss would be the spy trying to sabotage my mission, and my mission would be going on Facebook.

Anonymous

There's life without Facebook and Internet? Really? Send me the link.

Anonymous

I now pronounce you man and wife, you may now change your Facebook status.

Anonymous

I'm going to open a new Facebook account named 'Anonymous' so all the cool quotes will be attributed to me!

Clinton Thomas

Long time ago I used to have a life, until someone told me to create a Facebook account.

Anonymous

It's almost bed time, so I'll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick.

Anonymous

Facebook status: I'm not online, it's just an optical illusion.

Anonymous

If Facebook has taught us anything it's that a lot of people aren't quite ready for a spelling bee.

Anonymous