Facebook

Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It's like Facebook in real life.

Anonymous

I made my Facebook name "Benefits," so when you add me now it says "you're friends with benefits."

Anonymous

I'm sorry that I'm not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse.

Anonymous

There's life without Facebook and Internet? Really? Send me the link.

Anonymous

Long time ago I used to have a life, until someone told me to create a Facebook account.

Anonymous

I now pronounce you man and wife, you may now change your Facebook status.

Anonymous

If I don't log into Facebook two days in a row, call the police, someone must've kidnapped me!

Anonymous

Most of us don't realize it, but we're all part of something much bigger than ourselves, and we're all connected in some way, not just through Facebook.

Anonymous

If my life was an action movie, my boss would be the spy trying to sabotage my mission, and my mission would be going on Facebook.

Anonymous

Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you're getting a dictionary.

Anonymous

There are more important things in life than Facebook and Twitter,.. like watching TV, and having a beer.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Facebook status: I'm not online, it's just an optical illusion.

Anonymous

I'm going to open a new Facebook account named 'Anonymous' so all the cool quotes will be attributed to me!

Clinton Thomas

You have Facebook? Yup. You have Whatsapp? Yup. You have love? Forgot to install it.

Anonymous

If Facebook has taught us anything it's that a lot of people aren't quite ready for a spelling bee.

Anonymous

It's almost bed time, so I'll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick.

Anonymous