Facebook

I want to change my name on Facebook to "Nobody," so when I see someone posting something stupid I can Like their post and it will say "Nobody likes this."

Anonymous

Facebook needs three buttons, "Like", "Dislike" and "Stop being stupid."

Anonymous

If I don't log into Facebook two days in a row, call the police, someone must've kidnapped me!

Anonymous

There's life without Facebook and Internet? Really? Send me the link.

Anonymous

I made my Facebook name "Benefits," so when you add me now it says "you're friends with benefits."

Anonymous

Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you're getting a dictionary.

Anonymous

You have Facebook? Yup. You have Whatsapp? Yup. You have love? Forgot to install it.

Anonymous

I now pronounce you man and wife, you may now change your Facebook status.

Anonymous

I'm sorry that I'm not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse.

Anonymous

Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It's like Facebook in real life.

Anonymous

Long time ago I used to have a life, until someone told me to create a Facebook account.

Anonymous

Facebook status: I'm not online, it's just an optical illusion.

Anonymous

If my life was an action movie, my boss would be the spy trying to sabotage my mission, and my mission would be going on Facebook.

Anonymous

If Facebook has taught us anything it's that a lot of people aren't quite ready for a spelling bee.

Anonymous

It's almost bed time, so I'll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick.

Anonymous

There are more important things in life than Facebook and Twitter,.. like watching TV, and having a beer.

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