Funny Facebook Quotes and Sayings

I want to change my name on Facebook to "Nobody," so when I see someone posting something stupid I can Like their post and it will say "Nobody likes this."

You don't know something? Google it. You don't know someone? Facebook it. You don't know where something is? MOM!

I'm going to open a new Facebook account named 'Anonymous' so all the cool quotes will be attributed to me!

By the power vested in me by Facebook, I now pronounce you unfriended and restricted. You may now kiss my butt.

I made my Facebook name "Benefits," so when you add me now it says "you're friends with benefits."

I'm sorry that I'm not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse.

Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you're getting a dictionary.

I now pronounce you man and wife, you may now change your Facebook status.

Relationships these days start by pressing LIKE on her photo.

Facebook needs three buttons, "Like", "Dislike" and "Stop being stupid."

There are more important things in life than Facebook and Twitter,.. like watching TV, and having a beer.

I will be posting telepathically on all social media today. So if you think of something funny, that was me.

There's life without Facebook and Internet? Really? Send me the link.

It's almost bed time, so I'll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick.

If I don't log into Facebook two days in a row, call the police, someone must've kidnapped me!