Famous Funny Quotes
Famous quotes by famous authors. Great people make great quotes, and these prominent authors have made our list of the best famous quotes of all time.
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits. Albert Einstein
Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves. Albert Einstein
Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love. Albert Einstein
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Albert Einstein
A good speech should be like a woman's skirt: long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest. Winston Churchill
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe. Albert Einstein
I think it is good that books still exist, but they do make me sleepy. Frank Zappa
If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.
When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity. Albert Einstein
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
If it's free, it's advice; if you pay for it, it's counseling; if you can use either one, it's a miracle.
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not. Mark Twain
If A is success in life, then A is equal to X plus Y plus Z. Work is X; Y is play; and Z - keeping your mouth shut. Albert Einstein
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. Dave Barry
The world today doesn't make sense, so why should I paint pictures that do?
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you'll be a mile from them, and you'll have their shoes.
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. Groucho Marx
A lot of people ask me if I were shipwrecked, and could only have one book, what would it be? I always say 'How to Build a Boat.' Steven Alexander Wright
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