Famous Funny Quotes
Famous quotes by famous authors. Great people make great quotes, and these prominent authors have made our list of the best famous quotes of all time.
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits. Albert Einstein
Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love. Albert Einstein
A good speech should be like a woman's skirt: long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest. Winston Churchill
Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves. Albert Einstein
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe. Albert Einstein
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you'll be a mile from them, and you'll have their shoes.
If it's free, it's advice; if you pay for it, it's counseling; if you can use either one, it's a miracle.
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not. Mark Twain
There is a place you can touch a woman that will drive her crazy. Her heart.
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
Once you can accept the universe as being something expanding into an infinite nothing which is something, wearing stripes with plaid is easy. Albert Einstein
If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. Dave Barry
When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity. Albert Einstein
If A is success in life, then A is equal to X plus Y plus Z. Work is X; Y is play; and Z - keeping your mouth shut. Albert Einstein
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Albert Einstein
Displayed 1-24 of 33 quotes.