Famous Funny Quotes

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Famous quotes by famous authors. Great people make great quotes, and these prominent authors have made our list of the best famous quotes of all time.

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

Albert Einstein

A good speech should be like a woman's skirt: long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest.

A good speech should be like a woman's skirt: long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest.

Winston Churchill

Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous.

Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous.

Albert Einstein

Short Quotes Sayings

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.

Drinking Eat Quotes

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I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

I'd like to live like a poor man - only with lots of money.

I'd like to live like a poor man - only with lots of money.

Short Quotes Man Quotes Live Quotes

Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love.

Albert Einstein

Short Quotes Love Quotes People Quotes

A lot of people ask me if I were shipwrecked, and could only have one book, what would it be? I always say 'How to Build a Boat.'

Steven Alexander Wright

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

Albert Einstein

Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.

Albert Einstein

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There is a place you can touch a woman that will drive her crazy.

There is a place you can touch a woman that will drive her crazy. Her heart.

Melanie Griffith

I think it is good that books still exist, but they do make me sleepy.

Short Quotes Think Quotes Good Quotes

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.

Albert Einstein

If A is success in life, then A is equal to X plus Y plus Z. Work is X; Y is play; and Z - keeping your mouth shut.

Albert Einstein

Life Quotes Work Quotes

Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything he learned in school.

Albert Einstein

It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.

It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.

Marilyn Monroe

The worst thing I can be is the same as everybody else. I hate that.

Arnold Schwarzenegger

The world today doesn't make sense, so why should I paint pictures that do?

Short Quotes World Quotes