Funny Witty Quotes

Home / Funny Witty Quotes

Funny witty quotes and sayings.

The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?' - Anonymous
The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?' Anonymous
Funny Tree Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100
I fear one day I'll meet God, he'll sneeze and I won't know what to say. - Ronnie Shakes
I fear one day I'll meet God, he'll sneeze and I won't know what to say.

Ronnie Shakes

Know Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
Cat life mice can foxes be wolves boring frogs but grasshopper let's swan love it cow anyhow. Now read it again without the animals. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Cat life mice can foxes be wolves boring frogs but grasshopper let's swan love it cow anyhow. Now read it again without the animals. CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Animals Cat Quotes Life Quotes
I love that cute thing you do when you stop texting me for hours, it's adorable. - Anonymous
I love that cute thing you do when you stop texting me for hours, it's adorable. Anonymous
People Quotes Phone Statements
Whenever I'm sad, you're there. Whenever I have problems, you're there. Whenever I lose control, you're there. Let's face it, you are bad luck. - Anonymous
Whenever I'm sad, you're there. Whenever I have problems, you're there. Whenever I lose control, you're there. Let's face it, you are bad luck. Anonymous
Top 100
Math is fun, it teaches you life and death information, like when you're cold, you should go to a corner since it's 90 degrees there. - Anonymous
Math is fun, it teaches you life and death information, like when you're cold, you should go to a corner since it's 90 degrees there. Anonymous
Life Quotes Math Quotes Top 100
I'm not here to judge, I'm just pointing out all the mistakes you're making. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com
I'm not here to judge, I'm just pointing out all the mistakes you're making. CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
I wanted to make a clever chemistry joke, but the best ones argon.
I wanted to make a clever chemistry joke, but the best ones argon. Anonymous
Short Quotes Wise Quotes
Three monkeys escaped from the zoo, one was caught watching TV, the other playing hockey, and the third one was caught reading this quote! - Anonymous
Three monkeys escaped from the zoo, one was caught watching TV, the other playing hockey, and the third one was caught reading this quote! Anonymous
Animals TV Quotes Top 100
Why must I prove that I am me when I pay bills over the phone? Did some else call to pay my bills, and if they did, why don't you let them? - Anonymous
Why must I prove that I am me when I pay bills over the phone? Did some else call to pay my bills, and if they did, why don't you let them? Anonymous
Life Quotes Money Quotes Phone
Today was once tomorrow, and tomorrow will be today soon. CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Short Quotes Statements
My silence spoke a thousand words, but you never heard them.
My silence spoke a thousand words, but you never heard them. Anonymous
Life Quotes Never Quotes Short Quotes
Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once. - Anonymous
Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once. Anonymous
Animals People Quotes Short Quotes
When I said that I cleaned my room, I just meant I made a path from the doorway to my bed. - Anonymous
When I said that I cleaned my room, I just meant I made a path from the doorway to my bed. Anonymous
Top 100
Modern intelligence: if all bathrooms in the house are taken, turn off the internet. - Anonymous
Modern intelligence: if all bathrooms in the house are taken, turn off the internet. Anonymous
Internet Top 100
Displayed 1-15 of 50 quotes.

Funny Quote Topics

Recommended Sites

Pure Love Quotes Impressive Facts Best Positive Quotes

Search our Site