Steven Alexander Wright Funny Quotes

A lot of people ask me if I were shipwrecked, and could only have one book, what would it be? I always say 'How to Build a Boat.'

Steven Alexander Wright

Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories...

Steven Alexander Wright

I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.

Steven Alexander Wright

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?

Steven Alexander Wright

I have the worlds largest seashell collection. You may have seen it, I keep it spread out on beaches all over the world.

Steven Alexander Wright

The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on a tree.

Steven Alexander Wright

You can't have everything... where would you put it?

Steven Alexander Wright

You know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent? That's why I never take baths.

Steven Alexander Wright

I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out.

Steven Alexander Wright

It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.

Steven Alexander Wright

I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.

Steven Alexander Wright