When I was 16 I worked in a pet store, and they fired me because... they had three snakes in there, and one day I braided them.
It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.
The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on a tree.
There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
You know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent? That's why I never take baths.
You can't have everything... where would you put it?
I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.
I have the worlds largest seashell collection. You may have seen it, I keep it spread out on beaches all over the world.
Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories...
A lot of people ask me if I were shipwrecked, and could only have one book, what would it be? I always say 'How to Build a Boat.'
I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.
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