Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Life always offers you a second chance. It's called tomorrow.
Life always offers you a second chance. It's called tomorrow. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you're done.
Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you're done. Anonymous
Know Quotes Never Quotes Sayings
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people. - Anonymous
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people. Anonymous
Know Quotes People Quotes Stupid Quotes
Men are like bank accounts.<br/> Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest. - Anonymous
Men are like bank accounts.
Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest. Anonymous
Analogies Money Quotes
Always follow your heart, but remember to bring your brain along. - Anonymous
Always follow your heart, but remember to bring your brain along. Anonymous
Love Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
I'll call it a smartphone when I yell "Where's my phone?" and it yells back "Down here in the couch cushions!" - Anonymous
I'll call it a smartphone when I yell "Where's my phone?" and it yells back "Down here in the couch cushions!" Anonymous
Phone Top 100
Math is fun, it teaches you life and death information, like when you're cold, you should go to a corner since it's 90 degrees there. - Anonymous
Math is fun, it teaches you life and death information, like when you're cold, you should go to a corner since it's 90 degrees there. Anonymous
Life Quotes Math Quotes Top 100
I want to sleep but my brain won't stop talking to itself. Anonymous
Short Quotes Sleep Quotes Think Quotes
I made a huge to do list for today. I just can't figure out who's going to do it.
I made a huge to do list for today. I just can't figure out who's going to do it. Anonymous
Sayings
I want to be so rich that when I see a spider in my house I won't kill it, I'd buy another house. Anonymous
Money Quotes
A good friend is like a bra: hard to find one you're comfortable with...
A good friend is like a bra: hard to find one you're comfortable with, always provides support, holds you tight and is always close to your heart. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Good Quotes
Yesterday I did nothing and today I'm finishing what I did yesterday.
Yesterday I did nothing and today I'm finishing what I did yesterday. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Short Quotes Statements
My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I'm still at work. - Anonymous
My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I'm still at work. Anonymous
Work Quotes
I wasn't mad, but now that you asked me 7 times if I'm mad.. yes, I'm mad! - Anonymous
I wasn't mad, but now that you asked me 7 times if I'm mad.. yes, I'm mad! Anonymous
Questions Sayings Short Quotes
Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. Lesson learned. Anonymous
Animals Dog Quotes

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