Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I want to sleep but my brain won't stop talking to itself. Anonymous
Short Quotes Sleep Quotes Think Quotes
Two fleas are coming out of a bar when one asks the other 'Do we take a dog or do we walk home?' - Anonymous
Two fleas are coming out of a bar when one asks the other 'Do we take a dog or do we walk home?' Anonymous
Dog Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100
Being married means mostly shouting "What?" from other rooms. - Anonymous
Being married means mostly shouting "What?" from other rooms. Anonymous
Marriage Quotes Short Quotes
Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once. - Anonymous
Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once. Anonymous
Animals People Quotes Short Quotes
Pro Tip: In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place weiners and/or cheese slices in your pockets so the search dogs can find you first. - Anonymous
Pro Tip: In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place weiners and/or cheese slices in your pockets so the search dogs can find you first. Anonymous
Animals Dog Quotes
People say I act like I don't care. It's not an act. - Anonymous
People say I act like I don't care. It's not an act. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
I didn't fall, I'm just spending some quality time with the floor. - Anonymous
I didn't fall, I'm just spending some quality time with the floor. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
I've learned so much from my mistakes, I'm thinking of making a few more. - Anonymous
I've learned so much from my mistakes, I'm thinking of making a few more. Anonymous
Short Quotes
Who says nothing is impossible? I've been doing nothing for years. - Anonymous
Who says nothing is impossible? I've been doing nothing for years. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Questions Short Quotes
A good friend is like a bra: hard to find one you're comfortable with...
A good friend is like a bra: hard to find one you're comfortable with, always provides support, holds you tight and is always close to your heart. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Good Quotes
I don't know how to act my age because I've never been this old before. - Anonymous
I don't know how to act my age because I've never been this old before. Anonymous
Know Quotes Never Quotes People Quotes
I would go out of my mind, but I can't find the exit. - Anonymous
I would go out of my mind, but I can't find the exit. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
If people are talking behind your back, be happy that you are the one in front. - Anonymous
If people are talking behind your back, be happy that you are the one in front. Anonymous
Happy Quotes People Quotes Short Quotes
My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do. - Anonymous
My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
A horse is dangerous at both ends, and uncomfortable in the middle.
A horse is dangerous at both ends, and uncomfortable in the middle. Anonymous
Animals Short Quotes

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