Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where is the pop corn? - Anonymous

What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where is the pop corn?

Questions Short Quotes

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery and today is a gift. That's why we call it the "present."

Do you ever feel like your body's "check engine" light is on but you're like "nah, I'll be fine"?

Each year in the USA, 16 people are attacked by sharks and 6000 by goats . We don't need shark week, we need goat week.

I don't have a new year resolution - you don't need that when you're perfect. - Anonymous

I don't have a new year resolution - you don't need that when you're perfect.

I keep pressing the space bar, but I'm still on Earth. - Anonymous

I keep pressing the space bar, but I'm still on Earth.

Short Quotes Witty Quotes

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you. - Anonymous

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you.

Animals Cat Quotes Short Quotes

I don't have bad handwriting, I'm just using my own font. - Anonymous

I don't have bad handwriting, I'm just using my own font.

Sayings Short Quotes

Common sense is so rare these days that it should be considered a superpower.

Lazy Quotes Short Quotes

My new year resolutions: 1. Stop procrastinating so much. 2. I'll post the rest tomorrow or whenever. - Anonymous

My new year resolutions: 1. Stop procrastinating so much. 2. I'll post the rest tomorrow or whenever.

Lead me not into temptation... Oh who am I kidding, follow me, I know a shortcut. - Anonymous

Lead me not into temptation... Oh who am I kidding, follow me, I know a shortcut.

New year resolution: Complete the resolutions I set in 2019, that were actually from 2018, passed down from 2017, originally from 2016, actually set in 2015, that all began in 2014 but truly started in 2013. - Anonymous

New year resolution: Complete the resolutions I set in 2019, that were actually from 2018, passed down from 2017, originally from 2016, actually set in 2015, that all began in 2014 but truly started in 2013.

You never realize what you have until it's gone. Toilet paper is a good example. - Anonymous

You never realize what you have until it's gone. Toilet paper is a good example.

Sayings Top 100

Your secrets are safe with me... I wasn't even listening. - Anonymous

Your secrets are safe with me... I wasn't even listening.

Short Quotes Top 100 Witty Quotes

Less is more, unless it's kindness, sleep, or toilet paper.

Target cashier: Did you find everything you were looking for? Me: First of all, I wasn't looking for ANY of this.

I could be a morning person.. if morning was sometime around noon. - Anonymous

I could be a morning person.. if morning was sometime around noon.

I have lots of hidden talents. The problem is, even I can't find them. - Anonymous

I have lots of hidden talents. The problem is, even I can't find them.

I finally realized that people are prisoners of their phones... that's why it's called a "cell" phone. - Anonymous

I finally realized that people are prisoners of their phones... that's why it's called a "cell" phone.

Phone Sayings Top 100

It's funny how nobody notices all the good things you do until you don't do them. - Anonymous

It's funny how nobody notices all the good things you do until you don't do them.

Sayings Top 100 Work Quotes

I know some people don't like me, but what can I do, not everyone has good taste. - Anonymous

I know some people don't like me, but what can I do, not everyone has good taste.

People Quotes Top 100

Lazy Rule: Can't reach it, don't need it. - Anonymous

Lazy Rule: Can't reach it, don't need it.

Lazy Quotes Short Quotes

There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them. - Anonymous

There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.

People Quotes Sayings Top 100

Life doesn't have any hands, but it can sure give you a slap sometimes.

Life doesn't have any hands, but it can sure give you a slap sometimes.

Life Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again. - Anonymous

You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again.

Know Quotes Love Quotes Short Quotes