Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me.

Anonymous

Short QuotesPhotoLazy Quotes

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

Anonymous

Short QuotesPhotoLife Quotes
Me and my bed are perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up.

Me and my bed are perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up.

Anonymous

PhotoFunny Sayings

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A cop pulled me over and told me "Papers", so I said "Scissors, I win!" and drove off.

Anonymous

PhotoQuotesWise

If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off?

Anonymous

Short QuotesPhotoWise

If we shouldn't eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge?

Anonymous

Short QuotesPhotoEat

Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, they'll start using it.

Anonymous

Short QuotesPhotoStatements

A best friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find, lucky to have.

Anonymous

Short QuotesPhotoLife Quotes

Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face.

Anonymous

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Seeing a spider in my room isn't scary. It's scary when it disappears.

Anonymous

Short QuotesPhotoAnimals

I just finally discovered what's wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.

Anonymous

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Don't make me laugh, I'm trying to be mad at you.

Anonymous

Short QuotesPhotoFunny Moments

As your best friend I'll always pick you up when you fall, after I finish laughing.

Anonymous

PhotoBestFriend

Lazy people fact #2347827309018287. You were too lazy to read that number.

Anonymous

Short QuotesPhotoLazy Quotes
I changed my password everywhere to 'incorrect.'

I changed my password everywhere to 'incorrect.' That way when I forget it, it always reminds me, 'Your password is incorrect.'

Anonymous

PhotoComputers

Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.

Anonymous

Short QuotesPhotoAnimals

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