Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I want to sleep but my brain won't stop talking to itself. Anonymous
Short Quotes Sleep Quotes Think Quotes
I burned my Hawaiian pizza today. Should've cooked it on aloha temperature. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
It's really complicated to make something simple.
It's really complicated to make something simple, but very simple to make something something complicated. Anonymous
Sayings Statements Top 100
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When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Life Quotes
Potatoes make French fries, chips and vodka. It's like the other vegetables aren't even trying. Anonymous
God please give me patience, if you give me strength I will just punch them in the face.
God please give me patience, if you give me strength I will just punch them in the face. Anonymous
Life Quotes Top 100
I couldn't work today because I had an eye problem.. I simply couldn't see myself working today. Anonymous
Work Quotes
Intelligence is chasing me, but I'm beating it so far. - Anonymous
Intelligence is chasing me, but I'm beating it so far. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
Me: "I need help around here!" Then me again "No, not like that, here I'll do it." - Anonymous
Me: "I need help around here!" Then me again "No, not like that, here I'll do it." Anonymous
Know Quotes
I wanted to make a clever chemistry joke, but the best ones argon.
I wanted to make a clever chemistry joke, but the best ones argon. Anonymous
Short Quotes Wise Quotes Witty Quotes
My advice is to never listen to any advice, not even this one. - Anonymous
My advice is to never listen to any advice, not even this one. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes Wise Quotes
I'm on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle. - Anonymous
I'm on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Life Quotes
I enjoy taking long romantic walks, to the fridge. - Anonymous
I enjoy taking long romantic walks, to the fridge. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
If only common sense were more common. - Anonymous
If only common sense were more common. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
Sometimes I'm grateful that thoughts don't appear as bubbles over our heads. - Anonymous
Sometimes I'm grateful that thoughts don't appear as bubbles over our heads. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100

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