Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.

Anonymous

StupidMath

A best friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find, lucky to have.

Anonymous

ShortLifeBest

A cop pulled me over and told me "Papers", so I said "Scissors, I win!" and drove off.

Anonymous

StupidWise

My goal this weekend is to move... just enough so people don't think I'm dead.

Anonymous

ShortSayingsThink

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I want to change my name on Facebook to "Nobody," so when I see someone posting something stupid I can Like their post and it will say "Nobody likes this."

Anonymous

StupidFacebook
Life isn't measured by the number of breaths you take.

Life isn't measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the number of moments that take your breath away.

Anonymous

LifeMoments

If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me.

Anonymous

ShortLazy

I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Anonymous

ShortStupidSayings
I changed my password everywhere to 'incorrect.'

I changed my password everywhere to 'incorrect.' That way when I forget it, it always reminds me, 'Your password is incorrect.'

Anonymous

Computers

Friends are like rainbows, always there to cheer you up after a storm.

Anonymous

ShortFriend

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Everyone needs to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.

Everyone needs to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.

Anonymous

ShortLazyDrinking

You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again.

Anonymous

ShortKnowLove
Me and my bed are perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up.

Me and my bed are perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up.

Anonymous

Sayings
He who wakes up early, yawns all day long.

He who wakes up early, yawns all day long.

Anonymous

ShortStatementsSayings

If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off?

Anonymous

ShortWise

You don't know something? Google it. You don't know someone? Facebook it. You don't know where something is? MOM!

Anonymous

QuestionsKnowFacebook

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