Money Quotes

If lying was a job some people would be billionaires.

Anonymous

The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.

Albert Einstein

Due to current economic conditions the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.

Anonymous

When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don't answer because I'm eating.

Anonymous

Camping: When you spend a small fortune to live like somebody poor.

Anonymous

I think something's missing in my life... Like... 2-3 million dollars.

Anonymous

One day my wife's credit card got stolen.. what a relief it was to find that the thief spends less than my wife!

Anonymous

Christmas is a competition between who gives up first: Your feet or your wallet.

Anonymous

Dear Santa, this year I'd like a fat bank account, and a thin body... please don't confuse the two like you did last time.

Anonymous

I looked into my wallet and it was empty, I looked through all my pockets and they were all empty. Then I looked into my heart and I found you, and only then I figured out how rich I was.

Anonymous

Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say "I know it's hard, but you'll be okay. Here's a coffee and a million dollars."

Anonymous

Why must I prove that I am me when I pay bills over the phone? Did some else call to pay my bills, and if they did, why don't you let them?

Anonymous

Actual meanings of various terms:
TEAM WORK: Having somebody else you can blame it on.
HARDWARE: The part of a computer you can kick when there are software problems.
IMPATIENT: Somebody who is waiting in a hurry.
INFLATION: Paying today's prices with last year's salary.

Anonymous

I always intended to pay for my sins, but I could never afford it.

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God heals, and the doctor takes the fees.

Benjamin Franklin

Your bank account can be overdrawn, but it can never be overfilled.

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There was a time when people said, 'Jim, if you keep on making faces, your face will freeze like that.' Now they just say, 'Pay him!'

Jim Carey

What is the one machine at your local gym you should use to impress the ladies? The bank machine.

Anonymous