Money Quotes

If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

I hate math... but I love counting money.

They say that love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?

I'm stuck between "I need to save money" and "You only live once."

True love isn't about what's on the outside, it's about what's on the inside.... the wallet.

Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say "I know it's hard, but you'll be okay. Here's a coffee and a million dollars."

Dear Santa, this year I'd like a fat bank account, and a thin body... please don't confuse the two like you did last time.

Do I run? Yes.. Out of time, patients and money.

I think something's missing in my life... Like... 2-3 million dollars.

My wallet is like an onion, opening it makes me cry.

The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.

Actual meanings of various terms:
TEAM WORK: Having somebody else you can blame it on.
HARDWARE: The part of a computer you can kick when there are software problems.
IMPATIENT: Somebody who is waiting in a hurry.
INFLATION: Paying today's prices with last year's salary.

When I was small I thought money and fame brought all the happiness in the world. Now that I'm grown up, I know I was right.

Due to current economic conditions the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.

I don't understand people who say "I don't know how to thank you." Like they never heard of money.