Funny Wife Quotes
Funny quotes and saying about wives and being married.
Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed and cleaned everything thoroughly. Today I'm putting the cockroach in the bathroom. Anonymous
I now pronounce you man and wife, you may now change your Facebook status. Anonymous
In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker. Woody Allen
I look at the moon and it looks really beautiful!.. Then I look at you... and.. I think I'll look at the moon again?! Anonymous
One day my wife's credit card got stolen.. what a relief it was to find that the thief spends less than my wife! Anonymous
My wife loves me so much, she tries her best to attract me to her. The other day she put on a perfume that smells like a computer. CoolFunnyQuotes.com
I always help my wife out with housework such as washing the dishes and doing the laundry. She washes them, and I let them dry. Anonymous
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar. Anonymous
Me and my wife lived happily for twenty years.... then we met. Anonymous
My wife told me the other day that I don't take her to expensive places any more, so I took her to the gas station. Anonymous
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
If you want your wife to listen to you, then talk to another woman; she will be all ears. Sigmund Freud
Newspaper Ad. For sale: Encyclopedia Britannica, complete set of 45 volumes. No longer needed due to getting married. My wife knows everything. $200 Or best offer. Anonymous
My wife never gives up. She is so insistent that she entered the wrong password over and over again until she managed to convince the computer that she's right! Anonymous
My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way. Henny Youngman
Displayed 1-17 of 17 quotes.