Funny Wife Quotes

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

I now pronounce you man and wife, you may now change your Facebook status.

One day my wife's credit card got stolen.. what a relief it was to find that the thief spends less than my wife!

My wife told me the other day that I don't take her to expensive places any more, so I took her to the gas station.

I always help my wife out with housework such as washing the dishes and doing the laundry. She washes them, and I let them dry.

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.

Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed and cleaned everything thoroughly. Today I'm putting the cockroach in the bathroom.

How was the word "Wife" invented? They took the first two and last two letters of wildlife.

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.

I look at the moon and it looks really beautiful!.. Then I look at you... and.. I think I'll look at the moon again?!

If you want your wife to listen to you, then talk to another woman; she will be all ears.