Funny Wife Quotes

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Funny quotes and saying about wives and being married.

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker. Woody Allen
Marriage Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
I now pronounce you man and wife, you may now change your Facebook status.
I now pronounce you man and wife, you may now change your Facebook status. Anonymous
Facebook Man Quotes Marriage Quotes
One day my wife's credit card got stolen.
One day my wife's credit card got stolen.. what a relief it was to find that the thief spends less than my wife! Anonymous
Marriage Quotes Money Quotes
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar. - Anonymous
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar. Anonymous
Analogies Drinking
My wife told me the other day that I don't take her to expensive places any more, so I took her to the gas station. - Anonymous
My wife told me the other day that I don't take her to expensive places any more, so I took her to the gas station. Anonymous
Marriage Quotes Top 100
When I tried to do a search for marital advise on Google, it tried to finish my sentence for me, just like my wife does. Anonymous
Marriage Quotes
Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed and cleaned everything thoroughly. Today I'm putting the cockroach in the bathroom. Anonymous
My wife never gives up. She is so insistent that she entered the wrong password over and over again until she managed to convince the computer that she's right! Anonymous
Computers Marriage Quotes Never Quotes
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.

Socrates

Good Quotes Happy Quotes Marriage Quotes
How was the word "Wife" invented? They took the first two and last two letters of wildlife. - Anonymous
How was the word "Wife" invented? They took the first two and last two letters of wildlife. Anonymous
Questions
I always help my wife out with housework such as washing the dishes and doing the laundry. She washes them, and I let them dry. - Anonymous
I always help my wife out with housework such as washing the dishes and doing the laundry. She washes them, and I let them dry. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Marriage Quotes Stupid Quotes
My wife loves me so much, she tries her best to attract me to her. The other day she put on a perfume that smells like a computer. CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Computers Love Quotes Marriage Quotes
My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way. - Henny Youngman
My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way. Henny Youngman
Eat Quotes Marriage Quotes Short Quotes
I look at the moon and it looks really beautiful!.. Then I look at you... and.. I think I'll look at the moon again?!
I look at the moon and it looks really beautiful!.. Then I look at you... and.. I think I'll look at the moon again?! Anonymous
People Quotes Think Quotes Top 100
If you want your wife to listen to you, then talk to another woman; she will be all ears. - Sigmund Freud
If you want your wife to listen to you, then talk to another woman; she will be all ears. Sigmund Freud
Marriage Quotes
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