Life Quotes

Life status: Currently holding it all together with one bobby pin.

Anonymous

God please give me patience, if you give me strength I will just punch them in the face.

Anonymous

Be bold, be italic, but never regular.

Anonymous

Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.

Anonymous

I get tired from just thinking of everything I have to do.

Anonymous

Love many, trust few, always paddle your own canoe.

Anonymous

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

Anonymous

Math is fun, it teaches you life and death information, like when you're cold, you should go to a corner since it's 90 degrees there.

Anonymous

I was told to check my attitude. I did, and it's still there.. it hasn't gone anywhere. What's the problem?

Anonymous

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation.

Anonymous

I could be a morning person.. if morning was sometime around noon.

Anonymous

Dance like nobody is watching, because they are not, they are all checking their phones.

Anonymous

Some people aren't just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone.

Anonymous

A glass of beer shortens your life by one minute, a glass of wine by two minutes, and a day of work by seven to ten hours.

Anonymous

You come into the world with nothing, and the purpose of your life is to make something out of nothing.

Henry Louis Mencken

Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper "Nobody cares!"

Anonymous

What do I do for a living? I breathe in and out.

Anonymous

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Rita Rudner