Life status: Currently holding it all together with one bobby pin.
God please give me patience, if you give me strength I will just punch them in the face.
Be bold, be italic, but never regular.
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.
I get tired from just thinking of everything I have to do.
Love many, trust few, always paddle your own canoe.
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
Math is fun, it teaches you life and death information, like when you're cold, you should go to a corner since it's 90 degrees there.
I was told to check my attitude. I did, and it's still there.. it hasn't gone anywhere. What's the problem?
Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation.
I could be a morning person.. if morning was sometime around noon.
Dance like nobody is watching, because they are not, they are all checking their phones.
Some people aren't just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone.
A glass of beer shortens your life by one minute, a glass of wine by two minutes, and a day of work by seven to ten hours.
You come into the world with nothing, and the purpose of your life is to make something out of nothing.
Henry Louis Mencken
Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper "Nobody cares!"
What do I do for a living? I breathe in and out.
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
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