Growing up is amazing, until you get old!
You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.
I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when I don't have anybody to respect.
You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself.
I stretch my arms, I bend my knees, I straighten my neck, and they are all crunching. Conclusion: I'm not getting older, I'm getting more crunchy.
Some days I wish I had the wisdom of a 90 year old, the body of a 20 year old, and the energy of a 3 year old.
You know you're an adult when you get excited about a new cleaning sponge at the kitchen sink.
I don't mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.
I always knew I'd get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though.
The older I get, the less surprised I'd be if a random body part just fell off one day.
No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with.
One day you're 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you're 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice.
My four moods: I'm too old for doing that. I'm too tired for doing that. I'm too sober for doing that. I don't have time for doing that.
An adult is a person who no longer grows in height, but instead grows in length and width.
I don't know how to act my age because I've never been this old before.
My grandpa's car is so old; when he parked in front of a museum, they towed his car inside the museum.
I'm old enough to know better, but young enough to do it anyway.
Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.
I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
