Funny Statements

Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, they'll start using it.

Relationships these days start by pressing LIKE on her photo.

I love my six pack so much, I protect is with a layer of fat.

Dear Santa, this year I'd like a fat bank account, and a thin body... please don't confuse the two like you did last time.

Yesterday I did nothing and today I'm finishing what I did yesterday.

Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.

Just because I can't sing doesn't mean that I won't sing.

I love that cute thing you do when you stop texting me for hours, it's adorable.

It's really complicated to make something simple, but very simple to make something something complicated.

I don't go crazy, I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time.

If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog.

Studying means 10% reading and 90% complaining to your friends that you have to study.

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

Dear LOL, thank you for being there for me all those times I never had something else to say.