Funny Statements

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Read some of the funniest statements that have been made throughout time.

Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, they'll start using it. - Anonymous

Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, they'll start using it. Anonymous

People Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

I love my six pack so much, I protect is with a layer of fat. - Anonymous

I love my six pack so much, I protect is with a layer of fat. Anonymous

Exercise Quotes Lazy Quotes Love Quotes

Relationships these days start by pressing LIKE on her photo. - Anonymous

Relationships these days start by pressing LIKE on her photo. Anonymous

Facebook Love Quotes People Quotes

Studying means 10% reading and 90% complaining to your friends that you have to study.

Studying means 10% reading and 90% complaining to your friends that you have to study. Anonymous

Friend Quotes Moments

I love that cute thing you do when you stop texting me for hours, it's adorable. - Anonymous

I love that cute thing you do when you stop texting me for hours, it's adorable. Anonymous

People Quotes Phone Top 100

I thought about losing weight once, but I don't like losing. - Anonymous

I thought about losing weight once, but I don't like losing. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Short Quotes Think Quotes

Yesterday I did nothing and today I'm finishing what I did yesterday.

Yesterday I did nothing and today I'm finishing what I did yesterday. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Short Quotes

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. - Anonymous

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. Anonymous

Know Quotes Sayings Top 100

I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off. - Anonymous

I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off. Anonymous

I hate it when people text "Call me." I'm going to start calling people and as soon as they answer I'll say "text me," then hang up. - Anonymous

I hate it when people text "Call me." I'm going to start calling people and as soon as they answer I'll say "text me," then hang up. Anonymous

Just because I can't sing doesn't mean that I won't sing. - Anonymous

Just because I can't sing doesn't mean that I won't sing. Anonymous

Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

I drank so much Vodka last night that this morning I woke up with a Russian accent. - Anonymous

I drank so much Vodka last night that this morning I woke up with a Russian accent. Anonymous

When I'm at work I can fall asleep instantly, but when I'm in my bed I can hardly fall asleep. - Anonymous

When I'm at work I can fall asleep instantly, but when I'm in my bed I can hardly fall asleep. Anonymous

Sleep Quotes Work Quotes

I did a push-up today. Well actually I fell down, but I had to use my arms to get back up, so close enough. - Anonymous

I did a push-up today. Well actually I fell down, but I had to use my arms to get back up, so close enough. Anonymous

Exercise Quotes Top 100

I wasn't mad, but now that you asked me 7 times if I'm mad.. yes, I'm mad! - Anonymous

I wasn't mad, but now that you asked me 7 times if I'm mad.. yes, I'm mad! Anonymous

Questions Sayings Short Quotes

Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film. - Anonymous

Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes

I could agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong. - Anonymous

I could agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong. Anonymous

People Quotes Short Quotes Wise Quotes

There's something missing in my life, I just don't know if it's a puppy, a person, or a slice of pizza. - Anonymous

There's something missing in my life, I just don't know if it's a puppy, a person, or a slice of pizza. Anonymous

Know Quotes Life Quotes People Quotes

If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog.

If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog. Anonymous

Animals Dog Quotes Sayings

It's really complicated to make something simple.

It's really complicated to make something simple, but very simple to make something something complicated. Anonymous

Sayings Top 100

Dear Santa, this year I'd like a fat bank account, and a thin body... please don't confuse the two like you did last time. - Anonymous

Dear Santa, this year I'd like a fat bank account, and a thin body... please don't confuse the two like you did last time. Anonymous

Money Quotes Time Quotes Top 100

Whenever I clean my closet I take a GPS with me, so I can find my way back. - Anonymous

Whenever I clean my closet I take a GPS with me, so I can find my way back. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes Top 100

I get enough exercise just by pushing my luck!

I get enough exercise just by pushing my luck! Anonymous

Exercise Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

I don't go crazy, I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time. - Anonymous

I don't go crazy, I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time. Anonymous

Short Quotes Time Quotes

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