Funny Statements

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Read some of the funniest statements that have been made throughout time.

Relationships these days start by pressing LIKE on her photo. - Anonymous

Relationships these days start by pressing LIKE on her photo.

Facebook Love Quotes People Quotes

I love my six pack so much, I protect is with a layer of fat. - Anonymous

I love my six pack so much, I protect is with a layer of fat.

Exercise Quotes Lazy Quotes Love Quotes

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. - Anonymous

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

Know Quotes Sayings

Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film. - Anonymous

Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.

Sayings Short Quotes

Studying means 10% reading and 90% complaining to your friends that you have to study.

Studying means 10% reading and 90% complaining to your friends that you have to study.

Friend Quotes Moments

Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, they'll start using it. - Anonymous

Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, they'll start using it.

People Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off. - Anonymous

I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

I wasn't mad, but now that you asked me 7 times if I'm mad.. yes, I'm mad! - Anonymous

I wasn't mad, but now that you asked me 7 times if I'm mad.. yes, I'm mad!

Questions Sayings Short Quotes

If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog.

If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog.

Animals Dog Quotes Sayings

Yesterday I did nothing and today I'm finishing what I did yesterday.

Yesterday I did nothing and today I'm finishing what I did yesterday.

Lazy Quotes Short Quotes

I did a push-up today. Well actually I fell down, but I had to use my arms to get back up, so close enough. - Anonymous

I did a push-up today. Well actually I fell down, but I had to use my arms to get back up, so close enough.

Exercise Quotes Top 100

Dear Santa, this year I'd like a fat bank account, and a thin body... please don't confuse the two like you did last time. - Anonymous

Dear Santa, this year I'd like a fat bank account, and a thin body... please don't confuse the two like you did last time.

Money Quotes Time Quotes Top 100

I love that cute thing you do when you stop texting me for hours, it's adorable. - Anonymous

I love that cute thing you do when you stop texting me for hours, it's adorable.

People Quotes Phone Top 100

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory. - Paul Fix

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

Paul Fix

People Quotes Think Quotes Top 100

I think it's clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like. - Anonymous

I think it's clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like.

There's something missing in my life, I just don't know if it's a puppy, a person, or a slice of pizza. - Anonymous

There's something missing in my life, I just don't know if it's a puppy, a person, or a slice of pizza.

Know Quotes Life Quotes People Quotes

Today was once tomorrow, and tomorrow will be today soon.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Short Quotes Witty Quotes

When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they're not it.

Bernard Bailey

I don't go crazy, I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time. - Anonymous

I don't go crazy, I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time.

Short Quotes Time Quotes

All you have to know about celery is that it's made up of 95% water, and it's 100% not pizza. - Anonymous

All you have to know about celery is that it's made up of 95% water, and it's 100% not pizza.

Eat Quotes Know Quotes Sayings

Just because I can't sing doesn't mean that I won't sing. - Anonymous

Just because I can't sing doesn't mean that I won't sing.

Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

I get enough exercise just by pushing my luck!

I get enough exercise just by pushing my luck!

Exercise Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

I drank so much Vodka last night that this morning I woke up with a Russian accent. - Anonymous

I drank so much Vodka last night that this morning I woke up with a Russian accent.

It's really complicated to make something simple.

It's really complicated to make something simple, but very simple to make something something complicated.

Sayings Top 100

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