Statements

Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, they'll start using it.

Anonymous

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

Paul Fix

Studying means 10% reading and 90% complaining to your friends that you have to study.

Anonymous

He who wakes up early, yawns all day long.

Anonymous

Whenever I clean my closet I take a GPS with me, so I can find my way back.

Anonymous

If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog.

Anonymous

I could agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.

Anonymous

Yesterday I did nothing and today I'm finishing what I did yesterday.

Anonymous

I love my six pack so much, I protect is with a layer of fat.

Anonymous

The surest sign that there's intelligent life elsewhere in the universe, is that it has never contacted us.

Anonymous

There's something missing in my life, I just don't know if it's a puppy, a person, or a slice of pizza.

Anonymous

Dear Santa, this year I'd like a fat bank account, and a thin body... please don't confuse the two like you did last time.

Anonymous

I get enough exercise just by pushing my luck!

Anonymous

I drank so much Vodka last night that this morning I woke up with a Russian accent.

Anonymous

I don't go crazy, I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time.

Anonymous

I thought about losing weight once, but I don't like losing.

Anonymous

I hate it when people text "Call me." I'm going to start calling people and as soon as they answer I'll say "text me," then hang up.

Anonymous

I wasn't mad, but now that you asked me 7 times if I'm mad.. yes, I'm mad!

Anonymous