Read some of the funniest statements that have been made throughout time.
Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, they'll start using it. Anonymous
Relationships these days start by pressing LIKE on her photo. Anonymous
I love my six pack so much, I protect is with a layer of fat. Anonymous
Studying means 10% reading and 90% complaining to your friends that you have to study. Anonymous
I wasn't mad, but now that you asked me 7 times if I'm mad.. yes, I'm mad! Anonymous
If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog. Anonymous
Yesterday I did nothing and today I'm finishing what I did yesterday. Anonymous
It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. Anonymous
I did a push-up today. Well actually I fell down, but I had to use my arms to get back up, so close enough. Anonymous
I love that cute thing you do when you stop texting me for hours, it's adorable. Anonymous
I could agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong. Anonymous
I thought about losing weight once, but I don't like losing. Anonymous
Dear Santa, this year I'd like a fat bank account, and a thin body... please don't confuse the two like you did last time. Anonymous
It's really complicated to make something simple, but very simple to make something something complicated. Anonymous
It's easy to stop smoking. I stopped smoking today with no problems. I also stopped yesterday too, and the day before that. Anonymous
I hate it when people text "Call me." I'm going to start calling people and as soon as they answer I'll say "text me," then hang up. Anonymous
All you have to know about celery is that it's made up of 95% water, and it's 100% not pizza. Anonymous
When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they're not it.
Displayed 1-24 of 50 quotes.