Funny Statements

Home / Funny Statements

Read some of the funniest statements that have been made throughout time.

Relationships these days start by pressing LIKE on her photo. - Anonymous

Relationships these days start by pressing LIKE on her photo.

Facebook Love Quotes People Quotes

Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film. - Anonymous

Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.

Sayings Short Quotes

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. - Anonymous

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

Know Quotes Sayings Top 100

I love my six pack so much, I protect is with a layer of fat. - Anonymous

I love my six pack so much, I protect is with a layer of fat.

Exercise Quotes Lazy Quotes Love Quotes

Studying means 10% reading and 90% complaining to your friends that you have to study.

Studying means 10% reading and 90% complaining to your friends that you have to study.

Friend Quotes Moments

I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off. - Anonymous

I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

Today was once tomorrow, and tomorrow will be today soon.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Short Quotes Witty Quotes

Whatever it is -- I didn't do it!

Sayings Short Quotes

I wasn't mad, but now that you asked me 7 times if I'm mad.. yes, I'm mad! - Anonymous

I wasn't mad, but now that you asked me 7 times if I'm mad.. yes, I'm mad!

Questions Sayings Short Quotes

I love that cute thing you do when you stop texting me for hours, it's adorable. - Anonymous

I love that cute thing you do when you stop texting me for hours, it's adorable.

People Quotes Phone Top 100

Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, they'll start using it. - Anonymous

Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, they'll start using it.

People Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

I did a push-up today. Well actually I fell down, but I had to use my arms to get back up, so close enough. - Anonymous

I did a push-up today. Well actually I fell down, but I had to use my arms to get back up, so close enough.

Exercise Quotes Top 100

Yesterday I did nothing and today I'm finishing what I did yesterday.

Yesterday I did nothing and today I'm finishing what I did yesterday.

Lazy Quotes Short Quotes

Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement.

If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog.

If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog.

Animals Dog Quotes Sayings

There's something missing in my life, I just don't know if it's a puppy, a person, or a slice of pizza. - Anonymous

There's something missing in my life, I just don't know if it's a puppy, a person, or a slice of pizza.

Know Quotes Life Quotes People Quotes

Dear Santa, this year I'd like a fat bank account, and a thin body... please don't confuse the two like you did last time. - Anonymous

Dear Santa, this year I'd like a fat bank account, and a thin body... please don't confuse the two like you did last time.

Money Quotes Time Quotes Top 100

I think it's clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like. - Anonymous

I think it's clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like.

When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they're not it.

Bernard Bailey

All you have to know about celery is that it's made up of 95% water, and it's 100% not pizza. - Anonymous

All you have to know about celery is that it's made up of 95% water, and it's 100% not pizza.

Eat Quotes Know Quotes Sayings

Dear LOL, thank you for being there for me all those times I never had something else to say. - Anonymous

Dear LOL, thank you for being there for me all those times I never had something else to say.

Never Quotes Time Quotes

I don't go crazy, I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time. - Anonymous

I don't go crazy, I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time.

Short Quotes Time Quotes

It's really complicated to make something simple.

It's really complicated to make something simple, but very simple to make something something complicated.

Sayings Top 100

I wake up looking better every day, but today I'm exaggerating. - Anonymous

I wake up looking better every day, but today I'm exaggerating.

Sayings Short Quotes

I could agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong. - Anonymous

I could agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.

People Quotes Short Quotes Wise Quotes

Displayed 1-25 of 51 quotes.