Funny Statements
Read some of the funniest statements that have been made throughout time.
It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.
Anonymous
All you have to know about celery is that it's made up of 95% water, and it's 100% not pizza.
Anonymous
When I'm at work I can fall asleep instantly, but when I'm in my bed I can hardly fall asleep.
Anonymous
If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog.
Anonymous
I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.
Anonymous
I hate it when people text "Call me." I'm going to start calling people and as soon as they answer I'll say "text me," then hang up.
Anonymous
There's something missing in my life, I just don't know if it's a puppy, a person, or a slice of pizza.
Anonymous
It's really complicated to make something simple, but very simple to make something something complicated.
Anonymous
I did a push-up today. Well actually I fell down, but I had to use my arms to get back up, so close enough.
Anonymous
Displayed 1-24 of 50 quotes.