Good Quotes

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Here are some funny good quotes.

I always say "morning" instead of "good morning", because if it was a good morning, I'd still be asleep. - Anonymous

I always say "morning" instead of "good morning", because if it was a good morning, I'd still be asleep. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Life Quotes Sleep Quotes

Good morning self-isolation inmates! Anyone know how much vodka goes in scrambled eggs? - Anonymous

Good morning self-isolation inmates! Anyone know how much vodka goes in scrambled eggs? Anonymous

Good friends don't let their friends do stupid things alone. - Anonymous

Good friends don't let their friends do stupid things alone. Anonymous

Friend Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

I solemnly swear that I am up to no good. - Anonymous

I solemnly swear that I am up to no good. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

I hope we're good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people. - Anonymous

I hope we're good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people. Anonymous

Friend Quotes People Quotes Top 100

Friends are like walls, sometimes you lean on them and sometimes it's good just knowing they're there. - Anonymous

Friends are like walls, sometimes you lean on them and sometimes it's good just knowing they're there. Anonymous

Friend Quotes Know Quotes Top 100

A good speech should be like a woman's skirt: long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest.

A good speech should be like a woman's skirt: long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest. Winston Churchill

Analogies Famous Quotes Top 100

When I try on an outfit and it doesn't make me look good, I just throw it on the floor. Like, no, you don't deserve to be hung up, think about what you've done. - Anonymous

When I try on an outfit and it doesn't make me look good, I just throw it on the floor. Like, no, you don't deserve to be hung up, think about what you've done. Anonymous

Sayings Stupid Quotes Think Quotes

Good friends are like stars, you can't always see them but you know they're there. - Anonymous

Good friends are like stars, you can't always see them but you know they're there. Anonymous

There's nothing better than good friend, except for a good friend with chocolate.

There's nothing better than a good friend, except for a good friend with chocolate. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Friend Quotes

That moment when you dip your cookie in milk for too long and it breaks off, then you wonder why bad things happen to good people. - Anonymous

That moment when you dip your cookie in milk for too long and it breaks off, then you wonder why bad things happen to good people. Anonymous

Moments People Quotes Top 100

Pilot rules

Beginner pilot rules:

1. The propeller is just a big fan made to cool down the pilot in the cockpit. When it stops, you can see the pilot start sweating excessively.
2. You don't have to take off, but landing is mandatory.
3. Pushing forward on the flight stick makes the earth look bigger, pulling makes it look smaller.
If you pull too much or too long however, it will look bigger yet again.
4. Flying is safe as long as you don't crash.
5. It's better to wish you were flying than to wish you were on the ground.
6. A good landing is a landing in which everyone walks away.
7. Besides affecting apples, gravity also affects planes.
Anonymous

Stupid Quotes Top 100

I think it is good that books still exist, but they do make me sleepy. - Frank Zappa

I think it is good that books still exist, but they do make me sleepy. Frank Zappa

Famous Quotes Short Quotes Sleep Quotes

A good friend is like a bra: hard to find one you're comfortable with...

A good friend is like a bra: hard to find one you're comfortable with, always provides support, holds you tight and is always close to your heart. Anonymous

To be a good hunter you need good eyes, a steady hand, and a loud voice so you can yell for help when you're in a tree top.

To be a good hunter you need good eyes, a steady hand, and a loud voice so you can yell for help when you're in a tree top. Anonymous

Animals Funny Tree Quotes

Love is like playing bridge, if you don't have a good partner, it's good to at least have a good hand. Anonymous

Analogies Love Quotes

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.

Socrates

Happy Quotes Marriage Quotes Wife Quotes

A true friend is someone who thinks you're a good egg, even though they know you're slightly cracked. - Anonymous

A true friend is someone who thinks you're a good egg, even though they know you're slightly cracked. Anonymous

Friend Quotes Top 100

I'm so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed. - Anonymous

I'm so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed. Anonymous

Life Quotes Short Quotes Sleep Quotes

If life is not smiling at you, give it a good tickling.

If life is not smiling at you, give it a good tickling. Anonymous

Life Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

Your cake

"Oh you want to have your cake and eat it too?" Darn right, what good is cake if you can't eat it ? Anonymous

Eat Quotes Sayings

Two mice are eating a movie film roll at a cinema when one says to the other: this movie is good, but the book was better!

Two mice are eating a movie film roll at a cinema when one says to the other: this movie is good, but the book was better! Anonymous

Animals Eat Quotes Top 100

Got to work this morning and my boss told me 'have a good day', so I went home and had a great day!

Got to work this morning and my boss told me 'have a good day', so I went home and had a great day! Anonymous

It's a good thing I brought my library card because I'm totally checking you out. - Anonymous

It's a good thing I brought my library card because I'm totally checking you out. Anonymous

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