Easy to read short quotations by famous authors and anonymous.
I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake.
I'm retired. I was tired yesterday and I'm tired again today.
I'm a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once.
I already want to take a nap tomorrow.
If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me.
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
My boss is like a baby, screams and wakes me up every half hour.
I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.
Seeing a spider in my room isn't scary. It's scary when it disappears.
My house was clean yesterday, sorry you missed it.
What keys can't open locks? Monkeys, donkeys and turkeys.
I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. "Alright, get in the basket."
To the guy who created imaginary numbers in Math: I hate you.
What do I do for a living? I breathe in and out.
I hate when I go to the kitchen looking for food, and I find is ingredients.
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again.
Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.
Stop worrying about the world ending today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.
Charles M. Schulz
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