Easy to read short quotations by famous authors and anonymous.
I want to sleep but my brain won't stop talking to itself.
I have lots of hidden talents. The problem is, even I can't find them.
If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me.
Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and it makes you sad.
There's life without Facebook and Internet? Really? Send me the link.
Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you.
Give me your photo so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas.
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
I just wanted you to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.
I hate when I go to the kitchen looking for food, and I find is ingredients.
We're all mature, until someone pulls out some bubble wrap.
Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you're getting a dictionary.
I don't like morning people... or mornings, or people.
Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, they'll start using it.
4 out 3 people struggle with math.
The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.
Some people aren't just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone.
It was me, I let the dogs out.
Don't worry about what to wear today, your smile goes with any clothes.
You can't have everything... where would you put it?
Common sense is like deodorant, those who need it the most never use it.
I keep pressing the space bar, but I'm still on Earth.
What do I do for a living? I breathe in and out.
A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory.
Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.
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