Short Funny Quotes

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Easy to read short quotations by famous authors and anonymous.

Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can't see.

Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can't see. Anonymous

Stupid Quotes Top 100

Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh. - Anonymous

Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh. Anonymous

Friend Quotes Phone Top 100

Don't worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet. - Anonymous

Don't worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet. Anonymous

Sayings Top 100

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When nothing is going right, go left. - Anonymous

When nothing is going right, go left. Anonymous

Sayings Top 100

If you're hotter than me, then that means I'm cooler than you.

If you're hotter than me, then that means I'm cooler than you. Anonymous

Sayings Top 100

Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die. - Albert King

Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.

Albert King

Sayings Top 100

I don't need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.

I don't need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning. Anonymous

Sayings Sleep Quotes Top 100

If we shouldn't eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge? - Anonymous

If we shouldn't eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge? Anonymous

Eat Quotes Questions Top 100

Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, they'll start using it. - Anonymous

Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, they'll start using it. Anonymous

People Quotes Statements Top 100

Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you're done.

Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you're done. Anonymous

Know Quotes Never Quotes Sayings

If you think nothing is impossible, try slamming a revolving door. - Anonymous

If you think nothing is impossible, try slamming a revolving door. Anonymous

Sayings Stupid Quotes Think Quotes

You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again. - Anonymous

You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again. Anonymous

Know Quotes Love Quotes Top 100

Lazy people fact #2347827309018287. You were too lazy to read that number. - Anonymous

Lazy people fact #2347827309018287. You were too lazy to read that number. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes People Quotes Top 100

I put my phone in airplane mode, but it's not flying!

I put my phone in airplane mode, but it's not flying! CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Phone Stupid Quotes Top 100

I'm sorry that I'm not updating my Facebook status.

I'm sorry that I'm not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse. Anonymous

Animals Cat Quotes Computers

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Fart when someone hugs you, it makes them feel strong.

Fart when someone hugs you, it makes them feel strong. Anonymous

Stupid Quotes Top 100

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave. - Anonymous

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave. Anonymous

If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me. - Anonymous

If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Top 100

My goal this weekend is to move... just enough so people don't think I'm dead. - Anonymous

My goal this weekend is to move... just enough so people don't think I'm dead. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes People Quotes Sayings

For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles. - Anonymous

For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles. Anonymous

Analogies Math Quotes

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people. Anonymous

People Quotes Questions Stupid Quotes

Friends buy you food. Best friends eat your food. - Anonymous

Friends buy you food. Best friends eat your food. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Friend Quotes Top 100

4 out 3 people struggle with math. - Anonymous

4 out 3 people struggle with math. Anonymous

Math Quotes Top 100

I love my job only when I'm on vacation.

I love my job only when I'm on vacation. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Lazy Quotes Love Quotes Sayings

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