Funny Dog Quotes

I feel sorry for people who don't have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor.

You can trust your dog to guard your house but never trust your dog to guard your sandwich.

For the best seat in the house, you'll have to move the dog.

Happiness is a long walk, with a dog.

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. Lesson learned.

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

How was the dog's day? Ruff.

If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog.

Today I saw a woman talking to her cat, she really thought the cat understood. I told my dog when I got home... we both had a good laugh.

I named my dog "5 Miles," so I can tell people I walk 5 miles every day.

Two fleas are coming out of a bar when one asks the other 'Do we take a dog or do we walk home?'

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can't eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.

Pro Tip: In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place weiners and/or cheese slices in your pockets so the search dogs can find you first.

All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being lazy.