Funny Dog Quotes

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Here are some of our best funny quotes and sayings about being with dogs and funny things that dogs do.

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. Groucho Marx

Friend Quotes Man Quotes Stupid Quotes

I named my dog "5 Miles," so I can tell people I walk 5 miles every day. Anonymous

Animals Short Quotes

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can't eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away. Anonymous

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How does the healthy dog bark? Ruff Ruff.
How does the cold dog bark ? Scarf Scarf.
How does the confused dog bark? Wutf? Wutf?
Anonymous

Animals Questions Top 100

Two fleas are coming out of a bar when one asks the other 'Do we take a dog or do we walk home?' - Anonymous

Two fleas are coming out of a bar when one asks the other 'Do we take a dog or do we walk home?' Anonymous

Stupid Quotes Top 100

I don't want to adult today, I just want to dog. I'll be lying down on the floor in the sun, you can pet me and bring me some snacks. Anonymous

Today I saw a woman talking to her cat, she really thought the cat understood. I told my dog when I got home... we both had a good laugh. - Anonymous

Today I saw a woman talking to her cat, she really thought the cat understood. I told my dog when I got home... we both had a good laugh. Anonymous

Animals Cat Quotes

Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. Lesson learned. Anonymous

I feel sorry for people who don't have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor.

I feel sorry for people who don't have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor. Anonymous

Animals Eat Quotes People Quotes

If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog.

If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog. Anonymous

Animals Sayings Statements

Taking a dog named shark to the beach is a bad idea. Anonymous

Animals Short Quotes

How was the dog's day? Ruff. - Anonymous

How was the dog's day? Ruff. Anonymous

Animals Short Quotes Top 100

My windows aren't dirty, my dog is painting. - Anonymous

My windows aren't dirty, my dog is painting. Anonymous

Animals Short Quotes

What did the dog say after walking in the desert for hours?

What did the dog say after walking in the desert for hours? If I don't find a tree soon I'm gonna pee on myself. Anonymous

Animals Funny Tree Quotes

Never stand between a dog and the fire hydrant.

Never stand between a dog and the fire hydrant.

John Peer

Animals Never Quotes Short Quotes

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All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being lazy. Anonymous

You can trust your dog to guard your house.

You can trust your dog to guard your house but never trust your dog to guard your sandwich. Anonymous

Animals Eat Quotes Never Quotes

Newspaper Ad. FREE PUPPIES: Half cocker spaniel, half sneaky neighbors dog. - Anonymous

Newspaper Ad. FREE PUPPIES: Half cocker spaniel, half sneaky neighbors dog. Anonymous

Animals Short Quotes

I was thinking of getting a German Shepherd once, but I didn't want to learn another language just to have a dog.

I was thinking of getting a German Shepherd once, but I didn't want to learn another language just to have a dog. Anonymous

Animals Think Quotes Top 100

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing, right in your ear. - Dave Barry

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing, right in your ear. Dave Barry

If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge?

If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge? CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Animals Think Quotes

For the best seat in the house, you'll have to move the dog.

For the best seat in the house, you'll have to move the dog. Anonymous

Animals Short Quotes

To a dog, a fire hydrant under maintenance is like a bathroom that's out of service.

To a dog, a fire hydrant under maintenance is like a bathroom that's out of service. Anonymous

It was me, I let the dogs out. - Anonymous

It was me, I let the dogs out. Anonymous

Animals Short Quotes Top 100

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