Two fleas are coming out of a bar when one asks the other 'Do we take a dog or do we walk home?'
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing, right in your ear.
Never stand between a dog and the fire hydrant.
How was the dog's day? Ruff.
What did the dog say after walking in the desert for hours? If I don't find a tree soon I'm gonna pee on myself.
Newspaper Ad. FREE PUPPIES: Half cocker spaniel, half sneaky neighbors dog.
To a dog, a fire hydrant under maintenance is like a bathroom that's out of service.
I don't want to adult today, I just want to dog. I'll be lying down on the floor in the sun, you can pet me and bring me some snacks.
My windows aren't dirty, my dog is painting.
If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog.
I was thinking of getting a German Shepherd once, but I didn't want to learn another language just to have a dog.
You can trust your dog to guard your house but never trust your dog to guard your sandwich.
I feel sorry for people who don't have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor.
Pro Tip: In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place weiners and/or cheese slices in your pockets so the search dogs can find you first.
It was me, I let the dogs out.
If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge?
For the best seat in the house, you'll have to move the dog.
How does the healthy dog bark? Ruff Ruff.
How does the cold dog bark ? Scarf Scarf.
How does the confused dog bark? Wutf? Wutf?
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