Life Quotes

Everything happening now happens because of everything that has happened before.

What type of exercise do lazy people do? Diddly squats.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery and today is a gift. That's why we call it the "present."

Husband: I am a grown man, stop mothering me. Also husband: Have you seen my keys? Have you seen my wallet? Where did we park? I don't have clean underwear.

I really should do something with my life... maybe tomorrow.

Learn from the mistakes of others, you can never live long enough to make them all yourself.

Happiness: The emotion that puts your face in motion. Fear: The emotion that puts your legs in motion. Anger: The emotion that puts your fist in motion. Lesson: Don't be afraid or angry and you won't have to run and fight.

If I had just one hour left to live, I'd spend it in Math class... it never ends.

You come into the world with nothing, and the purpose of your life is to make something out of nothing.

Stop worrying about the world ending today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation.

I'm not frowning, I'm just smiling upside down.

In the morning you beg to sleep more, in the afternoon you are dying to sleep, and at night you refuse to sleep.