The surest sign that there's intelligent life elsewhere in the universe, is that it has never contacted us.
Sorry I can't come today. My sister's friend's mother's grandpa's brother's grandson's uncle's fish died, and it was tragic.
Life doesn't have any hands, but it can sure give you a slap sometimes.
When life closes a door, just open it again. It's a door, that's how they work.
Whenever you feel stupid, remember that there are people outside searching for Pokemon.
Life always offers you a second chance. It's called tomorrow.
You're never too old to do goofy stuff.
I've learned so much from my mistakes, I'm thinking of making a few more.
The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.
My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.
I want time to sit and read, take a nap and snack. Basically, I want to be in Kindergarten.
Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won't be able to see us.
We all have baggage, find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack.
I can't decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or they are living it to the fullest.
Home: Where I can look ugly and not care.
I'm so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed.
I don't need a psychiatrist to prod into my personal life and make me tell them all my secrets, I have my friends for that.
I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment.
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