Life Quotes

If every day is a gift, then today I got socks.

Anonymous

Me: We need to fall asleep. Brain: No, let's stay awake and think about every decision we made today.

Anonymous

You know you're an adult when you get excited about a new cleaning sponge at the kitchen sink.

Anonymous

I always say "morning" instead of "good morning", because if it was a good morning, I'd still be asleep.

Anonymous

I'm not really a control freak, but... can I show the right way to do that?

Anonymous

I'm a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

Anonymous

Dear sleep, I'm sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back!

Anonymous

Life is too short to worry about matching socks.

Anonymous

When you're thinking that I'm thinking of you, I'm thinking you're thinking of me.

Anonymous

Sometimes I can't tell if I'm in preschool or school... Oh wait, I'm at work.

Anonymous

What type of exercise do lazy people do? Diddly squats.

Anonymous

That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you're not home.

Anonymous

You already know something you don't even know that you know.

Dr. Milton Erickson

In life, we must find happiness. I've been looking everywhere and still haven't found it.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

I'm super lazy today. It's like normal lazy but I'm wearing a cape.

Anonymous

I'm a Victoria's Secret model. It's such a secret, not even Victoria knows.

Anonymous

To thrive in life you need three bones. A wish bone, a back bone, and a funny bone.

Reba McEntire

Everyone should believe in something. I believe I should be on a beach drinking margaritas.

Anonymous