If every day is a gift, then today I got socks.
Me: We need to fall asleep. Brain: No, let's stay awake and think about every decision we made today.
You know you're an adult when you get excited about a new cleaning sponge at the kitchen sink.
I always say "morning" instead of "good morning", because if it was a good morning, I'd still be asleep.
I'm not really a control freak, but... can I show the right way to do that?
I'm a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.
Dear sleep, I'm sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back!
Life is too short to worry about matching socks.
When you're thinking that I'm thinking of you, I'm thinking you're thinking of me.
Sometimes I can't tell if I'm in preschool or school... Oh wait, I'm at work.
What type of exercise do lazy people do? Diddly squats.
That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you're not home.
You already know something you don't even know that you know.
Dr. Milton Erickson
In life, we must find happiness. I've been looking everywhere and still haven't found it.
I'm super lazy today. It's like normal lazy but I'm wearing a cape.
I'm a Victoria's Secret model. It's such a secret, not even Victoria knows.
To thrive in life you need three bones. A wish bone, a back bone, and a funny bone.
Everyone should believe in something. I believe I should be on a beach drinking margaritas.
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