I'm super lazy today. It's like normal lazy but I'm wearing a cape.
I'm slowly becoming an adult... please make it stop.
Sometimes I can't tell if I'm in preschool or school... Oh wait, I'm at work.
How do you feel when the coffee machine is out coffee? Depresso.
Start each day with a positive thought, like: "I can go back to bed in just 17 short hours."
Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to.
Starting tomorrow whatever life throws at me, I'm ducking so it hits someone else.
I hate it when people ask me to watch their stuff. Like what happens if someone comes and actually tries to steal it? Do I have to fight them? I'm not ready.
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
Honestly, shopping beats therapy, anytime. It costs the same and you get a dress out of it.
I burned my Hawaiian pizza today. Should've cooked it on aloha temperature.
Be warned: I'm bored. This could get dangerous.
If it's free, it's advice; if you pay for it, it's counseling; if you can use either one, it's a miracle.
Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet.
I welcome change as long as nothing is altered or different than before.
If you're going through hell, keep going.
I am going to make a very beautiful life for myself, no matter what it takes.
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