Relax, have a drink, and enjoy the quotes!
Give a man a fish and he will have food for one day. Teach him to catch fish and he will spend all day at the lake drinking beer.
Don't drink to forget me, you'll end up seeing me double.
Alcohol, what's that? It's not in my vodkabulary, but let me check in whiskypedia.
Everyone needs to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
Alcohol kills brain cells slowly, but that never bothered me because I'm not in a hurry.
How do you know a man is thinking about his future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
A glass of beer shortens your life by one minute, a glass of wine by two minutes, and a day of work by seven to ten hours.
I follow a rigorous exercise routine that I never get lazy about; fetching beer bottles from the fridge.
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
The ideal man doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, doesn't do drugs, doesn't swear, doesn't get angry, doesn't exist.
In beer there is freedom, in wine there is health, in cognac there is power and in water there is bacteria.
Alcohol doesn't make you fat, it makes you lean... against tables, chairs and walls.
There are more important things in life than Facebook and Twitter,.. like watching TV, and having a beer.
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
Let's have a beer together, you can open it and I will drink it.
Not to brag but I don't even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
The problem with drinking and driving is that trees defend themselves very well.
I started thinking about the dangers of drinking on new year's eve. After that, I decided to stop thinking.
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
What is the difference between having a cold beer and going to the bathroom? About 35 minutes.
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.
I don't have a drinking problem, I have thirst problem.
Drinking after work is fine, but if you really want to enjoy working then drink before work.
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