Relax, have a drink, and enjoy the quotes!
Alcohol, what's that? It's not in my vodkabulary, but let me check in whiskypedia.
Alcohol kills brain cells slowly, but that never bothered me because I'm not in a hurry.
I follow a rigorous exercise routine that I never get lazy about; fetching beer bottles from the fridge.
Give a man a fish and he will have food for one day. Teach him to catch fish and he will spend all day at the lake drinking beer.
Don't drink to forget me, you'll end up seeing me double.
I drank so much Vodka last night that this morning I woke up with a Russian accent.
Hate your job? Join our support group! It’s called EVERYBODY. We meet at the bar.
Everyone should believe in something. I believe I should be on a beach drinking margaritas.
Not to brag but I don't even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
What is the difference between having a cold beer and going to the bathroom? About 35 minutes.
The problem with drinking and driving is that trees defend themselves very well.
A glass of beer shortens your life by one minute, a glass of wine by two minutes, and a day of work by seven to ten hours.
How do you know a man is thinking about his future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
In beer there is freedom, in wine there is health, in cognac there is power and in water there is bacteria.
I started thinking about the dangers of drinking on new year's eve. After that, I decided to stop thinking.
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