Funny Drinking Quotes

In beer there is freedom, in wine there is health, in cognac there is power and in water there is bacteria.

Anonymous

Alcohol doesn't make you fat, it makes you lean... against tables, chairs and walls.

Anonymous

How do you know a man is thinking about his future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

Anonymous

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.

Mark Twain

The ideal man doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, doesn't do drugs, doesn't swear, doesn't get angry, doesn't exist.

Anonymous

I started thinking about the dangers of drinking on new year's eve. After that, I decided to stop thinking.

Anonymous

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.

Anonymous

The problem with drinking and driving is that trees defend themselves very well.

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When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

Henny Youngman

Let's have a beer together, you can open it and I will drink it.

Anonymous

I don't have a drinking problem, I have thirst problem.

Anonymous

Everyone needs to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.

Anonymous

Whomever tries to drown their sorrows by drinking should know one thing: they know how to swim!

Anonymous

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?

Steven Alexander Wright

There are more important things in life than Facebook and Twitter,.. like watching TV, and having a beer.

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It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

George Burns