Funny Drinking Quotes

Alcohol, what's that? It's not in my vodkabulary, but let me check in whiskypedia.

Anonymous

Alcohol kills brain cells slowly, but that never bothered me because I'm not in a hurry.

Anonymous

I follow a rigorous exercise routine that I never get lazy about; fetching beer bottles from the fridge.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Give a man a fish and he will have food for one day. Teach him to catch fish and he will spend all day at the lake drinking beer.

Anonymous

Don't drink to forget me, you'll end up seeing me double.

Anonymous

I drank so much Vodka last night that this morning I woke up with a Russian accent.

Anonymous

Hate your job? Join our support group! It’s called EVERYBODY. We meet at the bar.

Drew Carey

Everyone should believe in something. I believe I should be on a beach drinking margaritas.

Anonymous

Not to brag but I don't even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.

Anonymous

Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.

Dave Barry

What is the difference between having a cold beer and going to the bathroom? About 35 minutes.

Anonymous

The problem with drinking and driving is that trees defend themselves very well.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

A glass of beer shortens your life by one minute, a glass of wine by two minutes, and a day of work by seven to ten hours.

Anonymous

How do you know a man is thinking about his future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

Anonymous

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.

Anonymous

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.

Mark Twain

In beer there is freedom, in wine there is health, in cognac there is power and in water there is bacteria.

Anonymous

I started thinking about the dangers of drinking on new year's eve. After that, I decided to stop thinking.

Anonymous