Funny Drinking Quotes

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Relax, have a drink, and enjoy the quotes!

The ideal man doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, doesn't do drugs...

The ideal man doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, doesn't do drugs, doesn't swear, doesn't get angry, doesn't exist. Anonymous

Man Quotes Sayings Top 100

Alcohol, what's that? It's not in my vodkabulary, but let me check in whiskypedia.

Alcohol, what's that? It's not in my vodkabulary, but let me check in whiskypedia. Anonymous

Questions Stupid Quotes Top 100

The problem with drinking and driving is that trees defend themselves very well. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com

The problem with drinking and driving is that trees defend themselves very well. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Funny Tree Quotes Stupid Quotes

Some things are better left unsaid, but people get drunk and say them anyway. Anonymous

People Quotes Short Quotes

In beer there is freedom, in wine there is health, in cognac there is power and in water there is bacteria. - Anonymous

In beer there is freedom, in wine there is health, in cognac there is power and in water there is bacteria. Anonymous

Beer Quotes Stupid Quotes

Alcohol doesn't make you fat, it makes you lean... against tables, chairs and walls.

Alcohol doesn't make you fat, it makes you lean... against tables, chairs and walls. Anonymous

Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. Dave Barry

Beer Quotes Famous Quotes Stupid Quotes

I follow a rigorous exercise routine that I never get lazy about; fetching beer bottles from the fridge.

I follow a rigorous exercise routine that I never get lazy about; fetching beer bottles from the fridge. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Beer Quotes Exercise Quotes Lazy Quotes

Don't drink to forget me, you'll end up seeing me double. - Anonymous

Don't drink to forget me, you'll end up seeing me double. Anonymous

Beer Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not. Mark Twain

Eat Quotes Famous Quotes Top 100

Give a man a fish and he will have food for one day. Teach him to catch fish and he will spend all day at the lake drinking beer.

Give a man a fish and he will have food for one day. Teach him to catch fish and he will spend all day at the lake drinking beer. Anonymous

Beer Quotes Eat Quotes

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar. - Anonymous

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar. Anonymous

Analogies Wife Quotes

Covid Health tip: If you hold a can of beer in both hands, you can't touch your face. Anonymous

Some people spend a fortune so they can circle the world. I drink some beer and the world circles around me. Anonymous

Beer Quotes World Quotes

Alcohol kills brain cells slowly, but that never bothered me because I'm not in a hurry.

Alcohol kills brain cells slowly, but that never bothered me because I'm not in a hurry. Anonymous

Never Quotes Stupid Quotes

Beer together

Let's have a beer together, you can open it and I will drink it. Anonymous

Beer Quotes Moments Short Quotes

Hate your job? Join our support group! It’s called EVERYBODY. We meet at the bar.

Hate your job? Join our support group! It’s called EVERYBODY. We meet at the bar.

Drew Carey

I drank so much Vodka last night that this morning I woke up with a Russian accent. - Anonymous

I drank so much Vodka last night that this morning I woke up with a Russian accent. Anonymous

Everyone needs to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.

Everyone needs to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer. Anonymous

Beer Quotes Lazy Quotes Short Quotes

I started thinking about the dangers of drinking on new year's eve. After that, I decided to stop thinking. - Anonymous

I started thinking about the dangers of drinking on new year's eve. After that, I decided to stop thinking. Anonymous

Stupid Quotes Think Quotes Top 100

How do you know a man is thinking about his future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one. - Anonymous

How do you know a man is thinking about his future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one. Anonymous

Beer Quotes Know Quotes Man Quotes

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. - Henny Youngman

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. Henny Youngman

Moments Short Quotes

There are more important things in life than Facebook and Twitter,.. like watching TV, and having a beer. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Beer Quotes Facebook Lazy Quotes

Everyone should believe in something. I believe I should be on a beach drinking margaritas. - Anonymous

Everyone should believe in something. I believe I should be on a beach drinking margaritas. Anonymous

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