Man Quotes

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.

Lily Tomlin

Give a man a fish and he will have food for one day. Teach him to catch fish and he will spend all day at the lake drinking beer.

Anonymous

How do you know a man is thinking about his future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

Anonymous

How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?

Anonymous

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

Groucho Marx

I now pronounce you man and wife, you may now change your Facebook status.

Anonymous

When a man gets close to a woman wearing a leather mini-skirt, his heart starts beating faster, his throat gets dry, his knees get weak and he becomes irrational.. Why? Because the leather smells like a new car.

Anonymous

I'd like to live like a poor man - only with lots of money.

Pablo Picasso

That moment when you spell a word so wrong, even auto-correct is like "I've got nothing man."

Anonymous

What are the two magic words that you can always use to make a shark happy? "Man Overboard!"

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

The ideal man doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, doesn't do drugs, doesn't swear, doesn't get angry, doesn't exist.

Anonymous

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.

Albert Einstein

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

Anonymous

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.

Maryon Pearson

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

Robert Bloch

God loved the birds and invented trees. Man loved the birds and invented cages.

Jacques Deval

I called tech support and told them my computer is frozen. They said to hold the power button, and I was like 'Ummm.. it's covered with ice man."

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

At the zoo, all the animals have a decent composure, except for the monkeys. You get the feeling man is very close to them.

Emil Cioran