Today I decided to do some manly work. I sat down on the couch and I'm watching TV. It's hard but it's necessary.Anonymous
The ideal man doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, doesn't do drugs, doesn't swear, doesn't get angry, doesn't exist.Anonymous
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.Groucho Marx
Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.Albert Einstein
I now pronounce you man and wife, you may now change your Facebook status.Anonymous
God loved the birds and invented trees. Man loved the birds and invented cages.
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'Anonymous
When a man gets close to a woman wearing a leather mini-skirt, his heart starts beating faster, his throat gets dry, his knees get weak and he becomes irrational.. Why? Because the leather smells like a new car.Anonymous
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.
That moment when you spell a word so wrong, even auto-correct is like "I've got nothing man."Anonymous
How do you know a man is thinking about his future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one.Anonymous
What are the two magic words that you can always use to make a shark happy? "Man Overboard!"CoolFunnyQuotes.com
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