Man Quotes

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

I now pronounce you man and wife, you may now change your Facebook status.

One big difference between men and women is that if a woman says "Smell this," it usually smells nice.

The ideal man doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, doesn't do drugs, doesn't swear, doesn't get angry, doesn't exist.

That moment when you spell a word so wrong, even auto-correct is like "I've got nothing man."

How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?

I'd like to live like a poor man - only with lots of money.

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.

How do you know a man is thinking about his future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.

What are the two magic words that you can always use to make a shark happy? "Man Overboard!"