Life Quotes

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The most fun things in life are either immoral, illegal or they make you fat.

The most fun things in life are either immoral, illegal or they make you fat. Anonymous

Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside. - Katherine Gaskin

Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.

Katherine Gaskin

Sayings Short Quotes

Husband: I am a grown man, stop mothering me. Also husband: Have you seen my keys? Have you seen my wallet? Where did we park? I don't have clean underwear. Anonymous

Marriage Quotes

At night, I can't fall asleep. In the morning, I can't get up. - Anonymous

At night, I can't fall asleep. In the morning, I can't get up. Anonymous

Short Quotes Sleep Quotes

Life's biggest struggle: I need to pee, but I don't want to get out of bed. - Anonymous

Life's biggest struggle: I need to pee, but I don't want to get out of bed. Anonymous

Short Quotes Top 100

Starting tomorrow whatever life throws at me, I'm ducking so it hits someone else. - Anonymous

Starting tomorrow whatever life throws at me, I'm ducking so it hits someone else. Anonymous

There are more important things in life than Facebook and Twitter,.. like watching TV, and having a beer. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Beer Quotes Drinking Facebook

Smiles are contagious... be a carrier. - Anonymous

Smiles are contagious... be a carrier. Anonymous

Happy Quotes Short Quotes

I hate when people ask me what I'm doing tomorrow, I don't even know what I'm doing today. - Anonymous

I hate when people ask me what I'm doing tomorrow, I don't even know what I'm doing today. Anonymous

Know Quotes People Quotes Top 100

Sorry I didn't pick up my phone, I got carried away dancing to the ringtone. - Anonymous

Sorry I didn't pick up my phone, I got carried away dancing to the ringtone. Anonymous

Phone Short Quotes

Here's human empathy for you: Things die all over our windshields and we're like, "Man, I just washed this!" Anonymous

I'm the kind of crazy you weren't warned about because no one knew this level existed. - Anonymous

I'm the kind of crazy you weren't warned about because no one knew this level existed. Anonymous

Stupid Quotes Top 100

Childhood injuries: Fell off my bike, fell out of a tree, twisted my ankle. Adult injuries: Slept wrong, sat down too long, sneezed too hard. Anonymous

Life isn't measured by the number of breaths you take.

Life isn't measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the number of moments that take your breath away. Anonymous

Moments Top 100

At the end of the day life should ask us "Are you sure you want to save the changes?" - Anonymous

At the end of the day life should ask us "Are you sure you want to save the changes?" Anonymous

There's something missing in my life, I just don't know if it's a puppy, a person, or a slice of pizza. - Anonymous

There's something missing in my life, I just don't know if it's a puppy, a person, or a slice of pizza. Anonymous

Know Quotes People Quotes Sayings

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth. - Anonymous

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth. Anonymous

You know you're a mom when you understand why mama bear's porridge was cold. - Anonymous

You know you're a mom when you understand why mama bear's porridge was cold. Anonymous

Know Quotes Short Quotes

Dance like nobody is watching, because they are not, they are all checking their phones. - Anonymous

Dance like nobody is watching, because they are not, they are all checking their phones. Anonymous

People Quotes Phone Sayings

Happiness: The emotion that puts your face in motion. Fear: The emotion that puts your legs in motion.

Happiness: The emotion that puts your face in motion. Fear: The emotion that puts your legs in motion. Anger: The emotion that puts your fist in motion. Lesson: Don't be afraid or angry and you won't have to run and fight. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Happy Quotes Witty Quotes

I don't mean to interrupt people, I just randomly remember things and get really excited. - Anonymous

I don't mean to interrupt people, I just randomly remember things and get really excited. Anonymous

A glass of beer shortens your life by one minute, a glass of wine by two minutes, and a day of work by seven to ten hours.

A glass of beer shortens your life by one minute, a glass of wine by two minutes, and a day of work by seven to ten hours. Anonymous

Beer Quotes Drinking Work Quotes

You come into the world with nothing, and the purpose of your life is to make something out of nothing. - Henry Louis Mencken

You come into the world with nothing, and the purpose of your life is to make something out of nothing.

Henry Louis Mencken

Sayings Top 100 World Quotes

"Don't worry you'll live." What are you a doctor or something? - Anonymous

"Don't worry you'll live." What are you a doctor or something? Anonymous

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