Wise cracks and funny advise that people have given to others.
If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off?
I just finally discovered what's wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.
A cop pulled me over and told me "Papers", so I said "Scissors, I win!" and drove off.
How can you make sure you never miss your target? Shoot first, and whatever you hit, call it the target.
Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.
Don't mess with me, I know Karate, Judo, Jujitsu, Kung Fu and 20 other dangerous words.
If you don't succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried.
The best revenge is massive success.
I'm gonna order a pizza 5 minutes before the new year, then when it arrives I'll say I ordered this last year.
My advice is to never listen to any advice, not even this one.
I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure!
I know that I am intelligent, because I know that I know nothing.
If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.
The best advise I have for all my teachers during a test is to pass the test out as fast as possible before I forget everything.
I could agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.
Exercise? I thought you said extra fries!
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