Wise Quotes

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Wise cracks and funny advise that people have given to others.

An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough. - Anonymous

An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

A cop pulled me over and told me "Papers", so I said "Scissors, I win!" and drove off. - Anonymous

A cop pulled me over and told me "Papers", so I said "Scissors, I win!" and drove off. Anonymous

Stupid Quotes Top 100

I just finally discovered what's wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left. - Anonymous

I just finally discovered what's wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left. Anonymous

If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off? - Anonymous

If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off? Anonymous

Questions Short Quotes Top 100

If you don't succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried. - Anonymous

If you don't succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes Top 100

Yes officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn't see your car. - Anonymous

Yes officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn't see your car. Anonymous

Short Quotes Top 100

I don't think inside the box and I don't think outside the box... I don't even know where the box is. - Anonymous

I don't think inside the box and I don't think outside the box... I don't even know where the box is. Anonymous

Know Quotes Sayings Think Quotes

Don't be stupid, it might make you famous. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Don't be stupid, it might make you famous. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Famous Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

How do you make your cell phone smarter? Turn up the brightness. - Anonymous

How do you make your cell phone smarter? Turn up the brightness. Anonymous

Phone Questions Short Quotes

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. Henny Youngman

$In Math class we learned more about algebra today, such as X+10=Y should I care?$

In Math class we learned more about algebra today, such as X+10=Y should I care? Anonymous

Math Quotes Top 100

It's so simple to be wise.

It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it. Sam Levenson

Stupid Quotes Think Quotes Top 100

I'm gonna order a pizza 5 minutes before the new year, then when it arrives I'll say I ordered this last year. - Anonymous

I'm gonna order a pizza 5 minutes before the new year, then when it arrives I'll say I ordered this last year. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Sayings Top 100

How can you make sure you never miss your target? Shoot first, and whatever you hit, call it the target.

How can you make sure you never miss your target? Shoot first, and whatever you hit, call it the target. Anonymous

Never Quotes Sayings Top 100

Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you're getting a dictionary. - Anonymous

Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you're getting a dictionary. Anonymous

Facebook Short Quotes Top 100

There are so many times I made you angry, upset, irritated and tired. Today I just wanted to say that I'm thinking of continuing. - Anonymous

There are so many times I made you angry, upset, irritated and tired. Today I just wanted to say that I'm thinking of continuing. Anonymous

People Quotes Think Quotes Time Quotes

I wanted to make a clever chemistry joke, but the best ones argon.

I wanted to make a clever chemistry joke, but the best ones argon. Anonymous

Short Quotes Witty Quotes

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. Erma Bombeck

Never Quotes Short Quotes

Never play poker with the world's fastest animal, because he's a cheetah. - Anonymous

Never play poker with the world's fastest animal, because he's a cheetah. Anonymous

Animals Never Quotes Short Quotes

A few days ago I lost my weapon of Math instruction... my trusty pocket calculator. - Anonymous

A few days ago I lost my weapon of Math instruction... my trusty pocket calculator. Anonymous

If you don't like me, remember it's mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter. - Anonymous

If you don't like me, remember it's mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter. Anonymous

Exercise? I thought you said extra fries! - Anonymous

Exercise? I thought you said extra fries! Anonymous

Exercise Quotes Short Quotes

It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature. Steven Alexander Wright

When people tell me "You're going to regret that in the morning," I sleep in until noon because I'm a problem solver. - Anonymous

When people tell me "You're going to regret that in the morning," I sleep in until noon because I'm a problem solver. Anonymous

People Quotes Sayings Sleep Quotes

Displayed 1-24 of 73 quotes.