Wise cracks and funny advise that people have given to others.
An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough. Anonymous
A cop pulled me over and told me "Papers", so I said "Scissors, I win!" and drove off. Anonymous
If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off? Anonymous
If what you've done is stupid but it works, then it really isn't that stupid at all.
I just finally discovered what's wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left. Anonymous
It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it. Sam Levenson
If you don't succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried. Anonymous
I don't think inside the box and I don't think outside the box... I don't even know where the box is. Anonymous
I'm gonna order a pizza 5 minutes before the new year, then when it arrives I'll say I ordered this last year. Anonymous
Whoever invented knock knock jokes should get a "No Bell" prize. Anonymous
In Math class we learned more about algebra today, such as X+10=Y should I care? Anonymous
Don't mess with me, I know Karate, Judo, Jujitsu, Kung Fu and 20 other dangerous words. Anonymous
Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you're getting a dictionary. Anonymous
My advice is to never listen to any advice, not even this one. Anonymous
If you don't cut the cake in pieces and just eat the whole cake, then you only had one piece. Anonymous
Of course I talk to myself... sometimes I need expert advice. Anonymous
How can you make sure you never miss your target? Shoot first, and whatever you hit, call it the target. Anonymous
When people tell me "You're going to regret that in the morning," I sleep in until noon because I'm a problem solver. Anonymous
I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure! Anonymous
I could agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong. Anonymous
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