Wise Quotes

A cop pulled me over and told me "Papers", so I said "Scissors, I win!" and drove off.

An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough.

There are so many times I made you angry, upset, irritated and tired. Today I just wanted to say that I'm thinking of continuing.

If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off?

Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you're getting a dictionary.

My advice is to never listen to any advice, not even this one.

I just finally discovered what's wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.

It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it.

The best revenge is massive success.

I don't think inside the box and I don't think outside the box... I don't even know where the box is.

Don't be stupid, it might make you famous.

Yes officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn't see your car.

Finding a treasure is like working on algebra equations, all you have to do is find the X.

As long as everything is exactly the way I want it.. I'm totally flexible.