Wise cracks and funny advise that people have given to others.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. Henny Youngman
If you don't succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried. Anonymous
Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. Dave Barry
I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly. Steven Alexander Wright
It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature. Steven Alexander Wright
Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet. Dave Barry
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