Wise cracks and funny advise that people have given to others.
A cop pulled me over and told me "Papers", so I said "Scissors, I win!" and drove off. Anonymous
An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough. Anonymous
If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off? Anonymous
If what you've done is stupid but it works, then it really isn't that stupid at all.
It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it. Sam Levenson
In Math class we learned more about algebra today, such as X+10=Y should I care? Anonymous
If you don't succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried. Anonymous
I'm gonna order a pizza 5 minutes before the new year, then when it arrives I'll say I ordered this last year. Anonymous
I just finally discovered what's wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left. Anonymous
Never play poker with the world's fastest animal, because he's a cheetah. Anonymous
When people tell me "You're going to regret that in the morning," I sleep in until noon because I'm a problem solver. Anonymous
There are so many times I made you angry, upset, irritated and tired. Today I just wanted to say that I'm thinking of continuing. Anonymous
Don't mess with me, I know Karate, Judo, Jujitsu, Kung Fu and 20 other dangerous words. Anonymous
The difference between pizza and your opinion is that I actually asked for pizza. Anonymous
A few days ago I lost my weapon of Math instruction... my trusty pocket calculator. Anonymous
I could agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong. Anonymous
I don't think inside the box and I don't think outside the box... I don't even know where the box is. Anonymous
If you don't like me, remember it's mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter. Anonymous
How do you make your cell phone smarter? Turn up the brightness. Anonymous
Never wrestle with a pig. You'll both get dirty, and the pig likes it. Anonymous
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