Wise Quotes

A cop pulled me over and told me "Papers", so I said "Scissors, I win!" and drove off.

Anonymous

I just finally discovered what's wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.

Anonymous

If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off?

Anonymous

Don't mess with me, I know Karate, Judo, Jujitsu, Kung Fu and 20 other dangerous words.

Anonymous

I could agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.

Anonymous

I'm not arguing, I'm just telling you why you're wrong.

Anonymous

Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.

Oscar Wilde

How can you make sure you never miss your target? Shoot first, and whatever you hit, call it the target.

Anonymous

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure!

Anonymous

Exercise? I thought you said extra fries!

Anonymous

The best revenge is massive success.

Frank Sinatra

Yes officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn't see your car.

Anonymous

If you don't cut the cake in pieces and just eat the whole cake, then you only had one piece.

Anonymous

Pleasing everyone, that's impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake!

Anonymous

The difference between pizza and your opinion is that I actually asked for pizza.

Anonymous

If you don't succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried.

Anonymous