Wise cracks and funny advise that people have given to others.
A cop pulled me over and told me "Papers", so I said "Scissors, I win!" and drove off. Anonymous
An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough. Anonymous
I just finally discovered what's wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left. Anonymous
I don't think inside the box and I don't think outside the box... I don't even know where the box is. Anonymous
My advice is to never listen to any advice, not even this one. Anonymous
If you don't succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried. Anonymous
I'm gonna order a pizza 5 minutes before the new year, then when it arrives I'll say I ordered this last year. Anonymous
It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it. Sam Levenson
How can you make sure you never miss your target? Shoot first, and whatever you hit, call it the target. Anonymous
If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off? Anonymous
If what you've done is stupid but it works, then it really isn't that stupid at all.
Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you're getting a dictionary. Anonymous
There are so many times I made you angry, upset, irritated and tired. Today I just wanted to say that I'm thinking of continuing. Anonymous
When people tell me "You're going to regret that in the morning," I sleep in until noon because I'm a problem solver. Anonymous
If you don't cut the cake in pieces and just eat the whole cake, then you only had one piece. Anonymous
I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure! Anonymous
Finding a treasure is like working on algebra equations, all you have to do is find the X. Anonymous
Of course I talk to myself... sometimes I need expert advice. Anonymous
If it's free, it's advice; if you pay for it, it's counseling; if you can use either one, it's a miracle.
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