Wise Quotes

Some things are better left unsaid, which I certainly realize, right after I say them.

Anonymous

When people tell me "You're going to regret that in the morning," I sleep in until noon because I'm a problem solver.

Anonymous

Don't vacuum and listen to loud music on your headphones in the same time. I finished three rooms until I realized the vacuum wasn't even on.

Anonymous

Whoever invented knock knock jokes should get a "No Bell" prize.

Anonymous

It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it.

Sam Levenson

There are so many times I made you angry, upset, irritated and tired. Today I just wanted to say that I'm thinking of continuing.

Anonymous

I was gonna take over the world today but I overslept. Postponed, again!

Anonymous

Of course I talk to myself... sometimes I need expert advice.

Anonymous

Those who think they know it all are very annoying to those of us who actually do.

Anonymous

An apple a day keeps anyone anyway, if you throw it hard enough.

Anonymous

People say I act like I don't care. It's not an act.

Anonymous

I'm a Victoria's Secret model. It's such a secret, not even Victoria knows.

Anonymous

Quantity is what you count, quality is what you count on.

Anonymous

If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off?

Anonymous

A cop pulled me over and told me "Papers", so I said "Scissors, I win!" and drove off.

Anonymous

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure!

Anonymous

Just got 30 minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.

Anonymous

I just finally discovered what's wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.

Anonymous