I never made a mistake in my life. I thought I did once, but I was wrong. Charles M. Schulz
Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. Dave Barry
If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.' Dave Barry
You know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent? That's why I never take baths. Steven Alexander Wright
Alcohol kills brain cells slowly, but that never bothered me because I'm not in a hurry. Anonymous
My wife never gives up. She is so insistent that she entered the wrong password over and over again until she managed to convince the computer that she's right! Anonymous
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