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Original new funny quotes written by our very own writers at CoolFunnyQuotes.com.

I love my job only when I'm on vacation.

I love my job only when I'm on vacation.

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Short Lazy Sayings

If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge?

If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge?

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Animals Think Dog

In grammar class the teacher asks her student 'When you sing you say 'I sing' what do you say when your brother is singing? I say 'shut up you're a terrible singer'.

In grammar class the teacher asks her student: When you sing you say 'I sing' what do you say when your brother is singing? I say 'shut up you're a terrible singer'.

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I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle!... He's dreaming too.

I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle!... He's dreaming too.

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Google earth view gives you the amazing chance to see amazing places all over the world, from the comfort of your own home. With this amazing privilege, what do most people look at? Their own house, their friends houses, and mostly places they have already been to!

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Moments World People

The hardest part of trying to steal one sheep is stopping the rest of them from following.

The hardest part of trying to steal one sheep is stopping the rest of them from following.

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I'm not here to judge, I'm just pointing out all the mistakes you're making.

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The best things in life are free. The rest are too expensive.

The best things in life are free. The rest are too expensive.

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Short Life Best

I put my phone in airplane mode, but it's not flying!

I put my phone in airplane mode, but it's not flying!

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The problem with drinking and driving is that trees defend themselves very well.

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Stupid Drinking Tree

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Working in a team means spending half your time convincing the others that your idea is better than theirs.

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The hardest thing to find in life is happiness.

The hardest thing to find in life is happiness - money is only hard to find because it gets wasted trying to find happiness.

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Life Money Happy

Whoever said great things come in small packages hasn't seen my big screen TV.

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Short Stupid TV Quotes

Life is like a very long TV show, without a remote control.

Life is like a very long TV show, without a remote control.

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Short Life TV Quotes

The best part of going to work is coming back home at the end of the day.

The best part of going to work is coming back home at the end of the day.

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Short Work Sayings

After many years of studying my Geography book I finally know by heart that Australia is on page 23.

After many years of studying my Geography book I finally know by heart that Australia is on page 23.

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