CoolFunnyQuotes.com Funny Quotes

I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle!... He's dreaming too.

I live my life one weekend at time, for those two days nothing else matters, I am FREE.

I'm not here to judge, I'm just pointing out all the mistakes you're making.

I don't need a psychiatrist to prod into my personal life and make me tell them all my secrets, I have my friends for that.

I follow a rigorous exercise routine that I never get lazy about; fetching beer bottles from the fridge.

In life, we must find happiness. I've been looking everywhere and still haven't found it.

Google earth view gives you the amazing chance to see amazing places all over the world, from the comfort of your own home. With this amazing privilege, what do most people look at? Their own house, their friends houses, and mostly places they have already been to!

Cat life mice can foxes be wolves boring frogs but grasshopper let's swan love it cow anyhow. Now read it again without the animals.

I always intended to pay for my sins, but I could never afford it.

In grammar class the teacher asks her student: When you sing you say 'I sing' what do you say when your brother is singing? I say 'shut up you're a terrible singer'.

The hardest part of trying to steal one sheep is stopping the rest of them from following.

There are more important things in life than Facebook and Twitter,.. like watching TV, and having a beer.

What are the two magic words that you can always use to make a shark happy? "Man Overboard!"