Comparing things makes them funny! You are like a hero, you took the time to read these funny quotes and share them with your friends.
A good speech should be like a woman's skirt: long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest.
My mind is like my web browser. 19 tabs are open, 3 are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from.
A relationship without trust is like a cell phone with no service, all you can do is play games.
My decision making skills are as good as a squirrel that's crossing the street.
Cavities are like parking tickets, they show up by surprise and take all your pocket money.
A bald spot is like a lie, the bigger it gets the harder it is to cover it up.
Camping: When you spend a small fortune to live like somebody poor.
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.
Girls are like phones. We love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!
My room is like the Bermuda triangle, stuff goes in and is never seen again.
When someone doesn't like something, it's often because they're not familiar with it, or they're too familiar with it.
For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles.
I'm like Pacman when I'm at a party, I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
My boss is like a baby, screams and wakes me up every half hour.
On the surface: cool as a cucumber. On the inside: squirrel in traffic.
Our love is like a train with no brakes, unstoppable.
Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together.
Cleaning the house while your kids are still home is like shoveling while it's still snowing.
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
Men are like bank accounts.
Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
A bikini is like a barbed wire fence. It protects the property without obstructing the view.
Love is like playing bridge, if you don't have a good partner, it's good to at least have a good hand.
Guys: No Shirt, No Service - Gals: No Shirt, No Charge
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