Comparing things makes them funny! You are like a hero, you took the time to read these funny quotes and share them with your friends.
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
When someone doesn't like something, it's often because they're not familiar with it, or they're too familiar with it.
My boss is like a baby, screams and wakes me up every half hour.
Men are like bank accounts.
Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.
Cleaning the house while your kids are still home is like shoveling while it's still snowing.
On the surface: cool as a cucumber. On the inside: squirrel in traffic.
Our love is like a train with no brakes, unstoppable.
Love is like playing bridge, if you don't have a good partner, it's good to at least have a good hand.
Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together.
A bikini is like a barbed wire fence. It protects the property without obstructing the view.
Guys: No Shirt, No Service - Gals: No Shirt, No Charge
A good speech should be like a woman's skirt: long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest.
For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles.
A relationship without trust is like a cell phone with no service, all you can do is play games.
Girls are like phones. We love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!
My mind is like my web browser. 19 tabs are open, 3 are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from.
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
Camping: When you spend a small fortune to live like somebody poor.
My room is like the Bermuda triangle, stuff goes in and is never seen again.
I'm like Pacman when I'm at a party, I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.
A bald spot is like a lie, the bigger it gets the harder it is to cover it up.
My decision making skills are as good as a squirrel that's crossing the street.
Cavities are like parking tickets, they show up by surprise and take all your pocket money.
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