Me and my bed are perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up.
My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.
Some people can't sleep because they have insomnia. I can't sleep because I have Internet.
I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead.
When you wake up at 6 in the morning, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's already 6:45. When you're at work and it's 2:30, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's 2:31.
I have 206 bones, 650 muscles and 50 billion cells in my body. It takes time to wake up all of them up in the morning.
Those who snore always fall asleep first.
I don't need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.
I was gonna take over the world today but I overslept. Postponed, again!
I'm off to club bed, featuring DJ Pillow and MC Blanky.
When I'm at work I can fall asleep instantly, but when I'm in my bed I can hardly fall asleep.
People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out... I mean, don't they have thoughts?
I always say "morning" instead of "good morning", because if it was a good morning, I'd still be asleep.
At night, I can't fall asleep. In the morning, I can't get up.
Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it.
Me: We need to fall asleep. Brain: No, let's stay awake and think about every decision we made today.
I wish I was a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a long nap.
I want to sleep but my brain won't stop talking to itself.
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