Work quotes about management and jobs. Your colleagues and your boss will have a blast reading these.
I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.
When I was 16 I worked in a pet store, and they fired me because... they had three snakes in there, and one day I braided them.
That moment your alarm clock goes off in the morning and you don't know whether to get dressed or fake an illness.
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.
Research has shown that laughing for two minutes is just as healthy as a 20 minute jog. So now I'm sitting in the park laughing at all the joggers.
I thought I wanted a career. Turns out all I wanted is paychecks.
The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.
This whole working for a living thing goes on for how long?
Drinking after work is fine, but if you really want to enjoy working then drink before work.
I'm retired. I was tired yesterday and I'm tired again today.
How do you go to work? Forced! No, I mean how do you arrive there? Depressed.
My cell phone is acting up, I keep pressing the home button but when I look around, I'm still at work.
If lying was a job some people would be billionaires.
I love my job only when I'm on vacation.
It's funny how nobody notices all the good things you do until you don't do them.
I might get a job cleaning mirrors. It's definitely a job I can see myself doing.
The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.
Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it's only Thursday.
I don't jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss.
I always give 100% at work! 12% on Monday, 23% on Tuesday, 40% on Wednesday, 20% on Thursday and 5% on Friday. Welcome back weekend.
Why is Monday so far from Friday, and Friday so close to Monday?
Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee.
In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
I'm in desperate need of a 6 month vacation... twice a year.
My boss is like a baby, screams and wakes me up every half hour.
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