Most of the time... when you're crying, nobody notices your tears. Most of the time... when you're worried, nobody feels your pain. Most of the time... when you're happy, nobody sees your smile. But when you fart just one time...
There are so many times I made you angry, upset, irritated and tired. Today I just wanted to say that I'm thinking of continuing.
A stupid person laughs three times at a joke; once when everyone else is laughing, a second time when he actually gets the joke, and a third time when he realizes he was laughing without getting the joke at first.
I'm multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.
Only 6 hours, 45 minutes and 35 years until I'm done with work.
Your idea is completely terrible... so what time shall we do it?
I wasn't mad, but now that you asked me 7 times if I'm mad.. yes, I'm mad!
I want time to sit and read, take a nap and snack. Basically, I want to be in Kindergarten.
Some of the greatest ideas of all time have come to people during Math class... none of which had anything to do with Math.
If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog.
Long time ago I used to have a life, until someone told me to create a Facebook account.
What's happening with your phone, every time I call you it says 'The subscriber you're calling is a monkey, please contact the zoo.'
I have 206 bones, 650 muscles and 50 billion cells in my body. It takes time to wake up all of them up in the morning.
Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming.
The future is shaped by your dreams, so stop wasting time and go to sleep!
When my boss told me this is the fifth time I'm late, I smiled and thought to myself, it's Friday!!
I always try to cheer myself up by singing when I get sad. Most of the time, it turns out that my voice is worse than my problems.
I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure!
Dear Santa, this year I'd like a fat bank account, and a thin body... please don't confuse the two like you did last time.
Whether it's the best of times or the worst of times, it's the only time we've got.
Art Buchwald
My four moods: I'm too old for doing that. I'm too tired for doing that. I'm too sober for doing that. I don't have time for doing that.
I just got off a flight that crossed through five time zones. Does that make me a time traveler?
They say the best things take time. That's why I'm always late.
Do I run? Yes.. Out of time, patients and money.
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