Time Quotes

Dear Santa, this year I'd like a fat bank account, and a thin body... please don't confuse the two like you did last time.

Anonymous

I didn't fall, I'm just spending some quality time with the floor.

Anonymous

As I have gotten older and wiser I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Pay day, lunch time, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement.

Tom Goins

Dear LOL, thank you for being there for me all those times I never had something else to say.

Anonymous

Some relationships are like Tom and Jerry, they argue and disagree all the time, but they still can't live without each other.

Anonymous

Most of the time... when you're crying, nobody notices your tears.
Most of the time... when you're worried, nobody feels your pain.
Most of the time... when you're happy, nobody sees your smile.
But when you fart just one time...

Anonymous

The future is shaped by your dreams, so stop wasting time and go to sleep!

Anonymous

I always try to cheer myself up by singing when I get sad. Most of the time, it turns out that my voice is worse than my problems.

Anonymous

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure!

Anonymous

A stupid person laughs three times at a joke; once when everyone else is laughing, a second time when he actually gets the joke, and a third time when he realizes he was laughing without getting the joke at first.

Anonymous

Some of the greatest ideas of all time have come to people during Math class... none of which had anything to do with Math.

Anonymous

Me: For the first time in life, things seem to be getting better. :)
Life: LOL, give me a second!

Anonymous

Long time ago I used to have a life, until someone told me to create a Facebook account.

Anonymous

I'm multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.

Anonymous

If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog.

Anonymous

That awkward moment you can't understand what somebody is saying after they have repeated it about five times.

Anonymous