The most fun things in life are either immoral, illegal or they make you fat.
The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
The best things in life are free. The rest are too expensive. CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway. Anonymous
In life, we must find happiness. I've been looking everywhere and still haven't found it. CoolFunnyQuotes.com
The hardest thing to find in life is happiness - money is only hard to find because it gets wasted trying to find happiness. CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Life always offers you a second chance. It's called tomorrow. Anonymous
I love my six pack so much, I protect is with a layer of fat. Anonymous
Every morning I do 10 sit-ups, to hit the snooze button on my alarm clock. Anonymous
Dear Santa, this year I'd like a fat bank account, and a thin body... please don't confuse the two like you did last time. Anonymous
Just got 30 minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor. Anonymous
My hobbies include eating and complaining that I've gained too much weight. Anonymous
Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for 10 minutes and come out wrinkle free and three sizes smaller? Anonymous
I never made a mistake in my life. I thought I did once, but I was wrong. Charles M. Schulz
Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.
Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives.
Life is like a very long TV show, without a remote control. CoolFunnyQuotes.com
All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them. Erma Bombeck