The most fun things in life are either immoral, illegal or they make you fat.
I never made a mistake in my life. I thought I did once, but I was wrong.
Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.
Simpsons
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
Walter Bagehot
Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives.
William Charles Dement
The best things in life are free. The rest are too expensive.
Life is like a very long TV show, without a remote control.
All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.
Whether it's the best of times or the worst of times, it's the only time we've got.
Art Buchwald
I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
That's the secret to life... replace one worry with another....
I live my life one weekend at time, for those two days nothing else matters, I am FREE.
You come into the world with nothing, and the purpose of your life is to make something out of nothing.
Henry Louis Mencken
In life, we must find happiness. I've been looking everywhere and still haven't found it.
The hardest thing to find in life is happiness - money is only hard to find because it gets wasted trying to find happiness.
I don't need a psychiatrist to prod into my personal life and make me tell them all my secrets, I have my friends for that.
The most important thing in life is not knowing everything, it's having the phone number of somebody who does!
I think I've discovered the secret of life, you just hang around until you get used to it.
Life is the dash between the birth date and the passed away date.
One small decision can change your life! That's why I always let someone else make my decisions, that way if something goes wrong I have somebody to blame other than myself.
What did my doctor tell me when I rushed into his office and told him I have 40 seconds to live? Hold on a minute!
