Every day, there are millions of funny moments. Some have been captured by these quotes, to be recalled over and over again. Whether you're studying for a test, or watching TV, a funny moment can happen at any time!
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room. Woody Allen
Getting on a plane, I told the ticket lady, 'Send one of my bags to New York, one to Los Angeles, and one to Miami.' She said, 'We can't do that!' I told her, 'You did it last week!' Henny Youngman
I always try to cheer myself up by singing when I get sad. Most of the time, it turns out that my voice is worse than my problems. Anonymous
Ladies and gentlemen thank you for flying xyz airlines, we hope you enjoyed your flight as much as we enjoyed taking your money. Please remember to take all your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among crew members. Anonymous
Some of the greatest ideas of all time have come to people during Math class... none of which had anything to do with Math. Anonymous
When I stare at the sky, I see you. When I stare out into the ocean, I see you. When I'm looking at the moon, I see you. Geez! Would you move aside, you're constantly getting in my way! Anonymous
What is the one machine at your local gym you should use to impress the ladies? The bank machine. Anonymous
A girl called me once and said "come over, nobody is home!" I went there and she was right, nobody was home! Anonymous
I believe there should be a better way to start each day... instead of waking up every morning. Anonymous
Life isn't measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the number of moments that take your breath away. Anonymous
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