Top 100 Funny Quotes

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I finally realized that people are prisoners of their phones... that's why it's called a "cell" phone. - Anonymous
I finally realized that people are prisoners of their phones... that's why it's called a "cell" phone. Anonymous
Phone Sayings
Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it's only Thursday. - Anonymous
Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it's only Thursday. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Work Quotes
just once I'd like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal. - Anonymous
just once I'd like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal. Anonymous
Wise Quotes
Always follow your heart, but remember to bring your brain along. - Anonymous
Always follow your heart, but remember to bring your brain along. Anonymous
Love Quotes Short Quotes
Sometimes I'm grateful that thoughts don't appear as bubbles over our heads. - Anonymous
Sometimes I'm grateful that thoughts don't appear as bubbles over our heads. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?' - Anonymous
The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?' Anonymous
Funny Tree Quotes Stupid Quotes Witty Quotes
When a couple is arguing over who loves who more, the one that gives up is the real winner.
When a couple is arguing over who loves who more, the one that gives up is the real winner. Anonymous
Love Quotes Marriage Quotes
Research has shown that laughing for two minutes is just as healthy as a 20 minute jog. So now I'm sitting in the park laughing at all the joggers. - Anonymous
Research has shown that laughing for two minutes is just as healthy as a 20 minute jog. So now I'm sitting in the park laughing at all the joggers. Anonymous
Work Quotes
But when you fart just one time...
Most of the time... when you're crying, nobody notices your tears.
Most of the time... when you're worried, nobody feels your pain.
Most of the time... when you're happy, nobody sees your smile.
But when you fart just one time... Anonymous
Happy Quotes Sayings Time Quotes
As long as everything is exactly the way I want it.. I'm totally flexible. - Anonymous
As long as everything is exactly the way I want it.. I'm totally flexible. Anonymous
Short Quotes Wise Quotes
If Facebook has taught us anything it's that a lot of people aren't quite ready for a spelling bee. - Anonymous
If Facebook has taught us anything it's that a lot of people aren't quite ready for a spelling bee. Anonymous
Facebook People Quotes
My house was clean yesterday, sorry you missed it. - Anonymous
My house was clean yesterday, sorry you missed it. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Short Quotes
I always give 100% at work! 12% on Monday, 23% on Tuesday, 40% on Wednesday, 20% on Thursday and 5% on Friday. Welcome back weekend. - Anonymous
I always give 100% at work! 12% on Monday, 23% on Tuesday, 40% on Wednesday, 20% on Thursday and 5% on Friday. Welcome back weekend. Anonymous
Work Quotes
Why cry for someone when you can laugh next to someone else?
Why cry for someone when you can laugh next to someone else? Anonymous
Love Quotes Questions Short Quotes
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