Top 100 Funny Quotes
Only the best of the best quotes make it here, and it's up to our visitors to decide which make it and which do not. This list is automatically sorted based on your votes, so please vote if you think a quote sucks or rocks!
I finally realized that people are prisoners of their phones... that's why it's called a "cell" phone.
Anonymous
You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I'm scared!
Anonymous
The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?'
Anonymous
Be crazy, be stupid, be silly, be weird. Be whatever, because life is too short to be anything but happy.
Anonymous
Most of the time... when you're crying, nobody notices your tears.
Most of the time... when you're worried, nobody feels your pain.
Most of the time... when you're happy, nobody sees your smile.
But when you fart just one time... Anonymous
Most of the time... when you're worried, nobody feels your pain.
Most of the time... when you're happy, nobody sees your smile.
But when you fart just one time... Anonymous
They say that love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?
Anonymous
I always try to cheer myself up by singing when I get sad. Most of the time, it turns out that my voice is worse than my problems.
Anonymous
I want to change my name on Facebook to "Nobody," so when I see someone posting something stupid I can Like their post and it will say "Nobody likes this."
Anonymous
I would like to apologize to anyone whom I haven't offended yet. Please be patient, I will get to you shortly.
Anonymous
Displayed 1-24 of 400 quotes.