Top 100 Funny Quotes
Only the best of the best quotes make it here, and it's up to our visitors to decide which make it and which do not. This list is automatically sorted based on your votes, so please vote if you think a quote sucks or rocks!
I finally realized that people are prisoners of their phones... that's why it's called a "cell" phone.
Anonymous
Have you ever looked at someone and knew the wheel was turning, but the hamster fell off long time ago?
Anonymous
Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say "I know it's hard, but you'll be okay. Here's a coffee and a million dollars."
Anonymous
I don't understand people who say "I don't know how to thank you." Like they never heard of money.
Anonymous
Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working.
Anonymous
just once I'd like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.
Anonymous
Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.
Anonymous
Dear life, when I said "can this day get any worse" it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.
Anonymous
I changed my password everywhere to 'incorrect.' That way when I forget it, it always reminds me, 'Your password is incorrect.'
Anonymous
Research has shown that laughing for two minutes is just as healthy as a 20 minute jog. So now I'm sitting in the park laughing at all the joggers.
Anonymous
Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for 10 minutes and come out wrinkle free and three sizes smaller?
Anonymous
Displayed 1-15 of 400 quotes.