Top 100 Funny Quotes

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Only the best of the best quotes make it here, and it's up to our visitors to decide which make it and which do not. This list is automatically sorted based on your votes, so please vote if you think a quote sucks or rocks!

I finally realized that people are prisoners of their phones... that's why it's called a "cell" phone.

Anonymous

SayingsPeople Quotes

If I had just one hour left to live, I'd spend it in Math class... it never ends.

Anonymous

Life QuotesNever QuotesMath Quotes

Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.

Anonymous

MomentsGood QuotesPeople Quotes

That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.

Anonymous

MomentsTime Quotes

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How do you go to work? Forced! No, I mean how do you arrive there? Depressed.

Anonymous

Short QuotesWork Quotes

Sometime you meet such a prince that you'd rather marry the horse.

Anonymous

Short QuotesMarriage Quotes

My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can't sleep.

Anonymous

Life QuotesLazy QuotesSleep Quotes

I have lots of hidden talents. The problem is, even I can't find them.

Anonymous

Short QuotesStupid Quotes

Why do you wear glasses? My eyes are so beautiful they have to be kept behind glass, like a showcase.

Anonymous

Life Quotes

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Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.

Anonymous

Short QuotesLife Quotes

Research has shown that laughing for two minutes is just as healthy as a 20 minute jog. So now I'm sitting in the park laughing at all the joggers.

Anonymous

Lazy Quotes
Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.

Anonymous

Stupid QuotesMath Quotes

You don't know something? Google it. You don't know someone? Facebook it. You don't know where something is? MOM!

Anonymous

QuestionsKnow QuotesFacebook

If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me.

Anonymous

Short QuotesLazy Quotes

I was told to check my attitude. I did, and it's still there.. it hasn't gone anywhere. What's the problem?

Anonymous

Life Quotes

That awkward moment when you've said "What?" three times, so you just say "Oh, yeah.." even though you have no idea what they said.

Anonymous

MomentsTime Quotes

We're all mature, until someone pulls out some bubble wrap.

Anonymous

Short QuotesLife Quotes

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