Top 100 Funny Quotes

Home / Top 100 Funny Quotes

Only the best of the best quotes make it here, and it's up to our visitors to decide which make it and which do not. This list is automatically sorted based on your votes, so please vote if you think a quote sucks or rocks!

If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me.

Anonymous

Short QuotesPhotoLazy Quotes

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

Anonymous

Short QuotesPhotoLife Quotes

Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, they'll start using it.

Anonymous

Short QuotesPhotoStatements

Sponsored Links

A best friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find, lucky to have.

Anonymous

Short QuotesPhotoLife Quotes

As your best friend I'll always pick you up when you fall, after I finish laughing.

Anonymous

PhotoBestFriend
I changed my password everywhere to 'incorrect.'

I changed my password everywhere to 'incorrect.' That way when I forget it, it always reminds me, 'Your password is incorrect.'

Anonymous

PhotoComputers

Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.

Anonymous

Short QuotesPhotoAnimals
Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it's a brighter day.

Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it's a brighter day.

Anonymous

Short QuotesPhotoPeople

A cop pulled me over and told me "Papers", so I said "Scissors, I win!" and drove off.

Anonymous

PhotoQuotesWise

At night, I can't fall asleep. In the morning, I can't get up.

Anonymous

Short QuotesPhotoLife Quotes

Sponsored Links

I just finally discovered what's wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.

Anonymous

PhotoWise

If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off?

Anonymous

Short QuotesPhotoWise
Don't know where your kids are in the house? Turn off the internet and they'll show up quickly.

Don't know where your kids are in the house? Turn off the internet and they'll show up quickly.

Anonymous

PhotoKnowPeople

If we shouldn't eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge?

Anonymous

Short QuotesPhotoEat
If you're hotter than me, then that means I'm cooler than you.

If you're hotter than me, then that means I'm cooler than you.

Anonymous

Short QuotesPhotoFunny Sayings

Read More Funny Quotes

Recommended Sites

Search our Site