I was gonna take over the world today but I overslept. Postponed, again!
I'm stuck between "I need to save money" and "You only live once."
Tried going out with my girlfriend but by the time she finished putting on her makeup the weekend was over.
That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you're shopping for something else because they just won't budge.
Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave when they think that their children are naive.
I like to live life dangerously by occasionally sticking my foot out over the edge of the bed at night.
Everything happening now happens because of everything that has happened before.
Oh I'm sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?
In a room full of art, I'd still stare at you.
Dear sleep, I'm sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back!
I can make the doorbell ring any time I want, all I have to do is go to the bathroom.
Retirement is when you stop living at work, and start working at living.
I know that Einstein's theory of relativity is correct because every weekend goes by twice as fast as normal.
Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it's only Thursday.
I get tired from just thinking of everything I have to do.
The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.
The right to be heard does not include the right to be taken seriously.
My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!
My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60. Now he's 97 years old and we have no clue where he is.
That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you're not home.
If you're all wrapped up in yourself then you are overdressed.
I want time to sit and read, take a nap and snack. Basically, I want to be in Kindergarten.
You know what part I like about waking up early? None.. let me go back to sleep.
I remember years ago when all I wanted is to be older. I was wrong!!
I'm the kind of crazy you weren't warned about because no one knew this level existed.
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