Cool Funny Quotes - 1200 Amusing Sayings and Quotations

Top Quotes

Top seven quotes from the Top 100 funny quotes.

I finally realized that people are prisoners of their phones... that's why it's called a "cell" phone. - Anonymous

I finally realized that people are prisoners of their phones... that's why it's called a "cell" phone. Anonymous

Phone Sayings Top 100

Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can't see.

Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can't see. Anonymous

Short Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100

You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I'm scared!

You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I'm scared! Anonymous

Animals Love Quotes Top 100

$Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.$

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you. Anonymous

Math Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100

The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?' - Anonymous

The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?' Anonymous

Funny Tree Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100

Be crazy, be stupid, be silly, be weird. Be whatever, because life is too short to be anything but happy. - Anonymous

Be crazy, be stupid, be silly, be weird. Be whatever, because life is too short to be anything but happy. Anonymous

Happy Quotes Life Quotes Stupid Quotes

If we shouldn't eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge? - Anonymous

If we shouldn't eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge? Anonymous

Eat Quotes Questions Short Quotes

Displayed 1-7 of 100 top quotes.

Top 100 Funny Quotes »

Latest Funny Quotes

I couldn't work today because I had an eye problem.. I simply couldn't see myself working today. Anonymous

If you like water then you already like 70% of me. Anonymous

If people were meant to pop out of bed, we'd all sleep in toasters. - Anonymous

If people were meant to pop out of bed, we'd all sleep in toasters. Anonymous

Short Quotes Sleep Quotes

If craziness could fly, some people would have their own airport. Anonymous

When things get hot, they expand, so I'm just getting warmer, not gaining weight. Anonymous

Life always has it's ups and downs. I like to up the music, down the drinks, and then relax and enjoy. Anonymous

Facebook: because time isn't going to pass on it's own. Anonymous

Facebook Short Quotes

I can resist everything except temptation.

Oscar Wilde

Short Quotes Witty Quotes

There should be a calorie refund for food that didn't taste as good as you expected. Anonymous

My Saturday was going really well, until I realized it's Sunday! Anonymous

Displayed 1-9 of 1346 funny quotes.

2
3
4
Next Page »

In a hurry? We have short quotes that make a quick read.

Read the funniest quotes in our Top 100 Funny Quotes and Sayings.

Have an amazing quote or saying? Click here to send it to us.

We read all submissions, but only the funniest quotes and sayings will be posted.