Cool Funny Quotes - 1200 Amusing Sayings and Quotations

Top Quotes

Top seven quotes from the Top 100 funny quotes.

I finally realized that people are prisoners of their phones... that's why it's called a "cell" phone. - Anonymous

I finally realized that people are prisoners of their phones... that's why it's called a "cell" phone.

Phone Sayings Top 100

Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can't see.

Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can't see.

Short Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100

Side by side or miles apart real friends are always close to the heart. - Anonymous

Side by side or miles apart real friends are always close to the heart.

Friend Quotes Love Quotes Short Quotes

You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I'm scared!

You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I'm scared!

Animals Love Quotes Top 100

I love my six pack so much, I protect is with a layer of fat. - Anonymous

I love my six pack so much, I protect is with a layer of fat.

Exercise Quotes Lazy Quotes Love Quotes

Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you're done.

Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you're done.

Know Quotes Never Quotes Sayings

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

Life Quotes Never Quotes Short Quotes

Displayed 1-7 of 100 top quotes.

Top 100 Funny Quotes »

Latest Funny Quotes

Only 6 hours, 45 minutes and 35 years until I'm done with work.

Short Quotes Time Quotes Work Quotes

I survived the great toilet paper scare of 2020.

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead. - Bill McGlashen

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.

Bill McGlashen

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person is completely stupid.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute forget the fruit.

Ever looked at your ex and wondered... was I drunk the entire relationship?

Love Quotes Questions Short Quotes

Where do I see myself in a year? I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision.

How to do sit-ups: Lay down, hands behind your head. Wow, this is a good position for a nap. Maybe I'll just take a nap.

Lazy Quotes Sleep Quotes

My husband and I are doing a workshop. He works and I'll shop. - Anonymous

My husband and I are doing a workshop. He works and I'll shop.

Short Quotes Work Quotes

Can we start the weekend again? I wasn't ready.

Lazy Quotes Short Quotes Work Quotes

Displayed 1-9 of 1247 funny quotes.

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