Cool Funny Quotes - 1200 Amusing Sayings and Quotations

Top Quotes

Top seven quotes from the Top 100 funny quotes.

Be careful when you follow the masses. Sometimes the M is silent. - Anonymous

Be careful when you follow the masses. Sometimes the M is silent. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes Top 100

Never ask a starfish for directions. - Anonymous

Never ask a starfish for directions. Anonymous

Never Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

You never realize what you have until it's gone. Toilet paper is a good example. - Anonymous

You never realize what you have until it's gone. Toilet paper is a good example. Anonymous

Sayings Top 100

But when you fart just one time...

Most of the time... when you're crying, nobody notices your tears.
Most of the time... when you're worried, nobody feels your pain.
Most of the time... when you're happy, nobody sees your smile.
But when you fart just one time... Anonymous

Happy Quotes Sayings Time Quotes

I hate it when people see me at the supermarket and they're like 'Hey, what are you doing here?' I tell them 'You know.. hunting elephants.'

I hate it when people see me at the supermarket and they're like 'Hey, what are you doing here?' I tell them 'You know.. hunting elephants.' Anonymous

Know Quotes Moments People Quotes

If we shouldn't eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge? - Anonymous

If we shouldn't eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge? Anonymous

Eat Quotes Questions Short Quotes

I finally realized that people are prisoners of their phones... that's why it's called a "cell" phone. - Anonymous

I finally realized that people are prisoners of their phones... that's why it's called a "cell" phone. Anonymous

Phone Sayings Top 100

I don't mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years. - Anonymous

I don't mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years. Anonymous

Life Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100

Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people. - Anonymous

Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people. Anonymous

Internet People Quotes Top 100

So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff. - Anonymous

So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff. Anonymous

Life Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

Displayed 1-7 of 100 top quotes.

Top 100 Funny Quotes »

Latest Funny Quotes

A man's home is his castle, but his garage is his sanctuary. Anonymous

Man Quotes Short Quotes

There is absolutely no excuse for laziness. But if you find one, let me know. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Short Quotes

I'm so lazy that I get jealous when it's bedtime in other countries. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Short Quotes

The awkward moment when someone's zipper is down and you don't know whether to tell them or not. Anonymous

Moments

That awkward moment when it's quiet in class and your stomach decides to sound make whale mating sounds. Anonymous

That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything, and all you can think is: "Act normal, you are innocent." Anonymous

We're all brave in our own way. For example, I'm not afraid of raw cookie dough. Anonymous

Eat Quotes

Hardest thing ever: Controlling your laughter at serious times. Anonymous

Short Quotes

When someone asks "Are you crazy?" Just answer "Yes" to end that conversation. Anonymous

Short Quotes

I don't care what other people think of me, at least mosquitoes find me attractive. Anonymous

Displayed 1-9 of 1464 funny quotes.

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