Cool Funny Quotes - 1200 Amusing Sayings and Quotations

Top Quotes

Top seven quotes from the Top 100 funny quotes.

I finally realized that people are prisoners of their phones... that's why it's called a "cell" phone. - Anonymous

I finally realized that people are prisoners of their phones... that's why it's called a "cell" phone. Anonymous

Phone Sayings Top 100

Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can't see.

Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can't see. Anonymous

Short Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100

You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I'm scared!

You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I'm scared! Anonymous

Animals Love Quotes Top 100

$Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.$

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you. Anonymous

Math Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100

The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?' - Anonymous

The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?' Anonymous

Funny Tree Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100

Be crazy, be stupid, be silly, be weird. Be whatever, because life is too short to be anything but happy. - Anonymous

Be crazy, be stupid, be silly, be weird. Be whatever, because life is too short to be anything but happy. Anonymous

Happy Quotes Life Quotes Stupid Quotes

If we shouldn't eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge? - Anonymous

If we shouldn't eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge? Anonymous

Eat Quotes Questions Short Quotes

Displayed 1-7 of 100 top quotes.

Top 100 Funny Quotes »

Latest Funny Quotes

You know you're mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs. Anonymous

When I take a shower I'm: 5% cleaning myself, 10% singing, 85% making life changing decisions. Anonymous

I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

There's a fine line between saying too much and saying too little. I walk that line like a drunk down at the circus. Anonymous

All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being lazy. Anonymous

Cat Quotes Dog Quotes

It's always fun listening to someone's lie when you already know the truth. Anonymous

I couldn't work today because I had an eye problem.. I simply couldn't see myself working today. Anonymous

If you like water then you already like 70% of me. Anonymous

If people were meant to pop out of bed, we'd all sleep in toasters. - Anonymous

If people were meant to pop out of bed, we'd all sleep in toasters. Anonymous

Short Quotes Sleep Quotes

If craziness could fly, some people would have their own airport. Anonymous

Displayed 1-9 of 1352 funny quotes.

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