Top Quotes
Top seven quotes from the Top 100 funny quotes.
I finally realized that people are prisoners of their phones... that's why it's called a "cell" phone.
Anonymous
You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I'm scared!
Anonymous
The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?'
Anonymous
Displayed 1-7 of 100 top quotes.
Latest Funny Quotes
My brain says "Let's do something exciting today" but my body says "Don't listen to that fool."
Anonymous
Got up this morning and ran around the block five times. Then I got tired, so I put the block back in the toy box.
Anonymous
Instead of cleaning my house, I just watch episodes of hoarders on TV and then I think "Wow, my house looks awesome!"
Anonymous
You come from dust and you'll return to dust, so that's why I never dust. It could be someone I know.
Anonymous
If someone is laughing, then laugh with them. If someone is singing, then sing them. If someone is working, let them work... you don't want to ruin their concentration.
Anonymous
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1-9 of 1317 funny quotes.
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