Cool Funny Quotes | 800+ Amusing Sayings and Quotations

Top Quotes

Top seven quotes from the Top 100 funny quotes.

Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.

Moments Good Quotes People Quotes

That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.

Moments Time Quotes

How do you go to work? Forced! No, I mean how do you arrive there? Depressed.

Short Quotes Work Quotes

Sometime you meet such a prince that you'd rather marry the horse.

Short Quotes Marriage Quotes

Sponsored Links

My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can't sleep.

Life Quotes Lazy Quotes Sleep Quotes

I'm not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too.

Short Quotes Sayings Sleep Quotes

Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.

Short Quotes Life Quotes

Top 100 Funny Quotes »

Latest Funny Quotes

I'm retired. I was tired yesterday and I'm tired again today.

Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.

I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake.

I'm a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once.

Short Quotes Lazy Quotes

My brain cells, skin cells and hair cells continue to die, but my fat cells seem to have an eternal life.

My mind is like my web browser. 19 tabs are open, 3 are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from.

My neighbors were yelling so loud at their kids to clean up their room that out of fear even I started cleaning my room.

Dear phone, if you didn't light up so many times to tell me you had a low battery, you wouldn't have died so quickly!

I don't have bad handwriting, I'm just using my own font.

Short Quotes Sayings

Think of a number between 1 and 10. Multiply it by 9 and subtract 1. Now close your eyes. It's dark isn't it?

Wise Quotes Think Quotes Math Quotes

Displayed 1-16 of 1177 funny quotes.

2
3
4
Next Page »

In a hurry? Read our funny short quotes.

We recommend more funny sayings and life quotations.

Have an amazing quote you want to see here? Share it with the world by clicking here and sending it to us right away. We'd love to hear from you and appreciate all the submissions.