Top Quotes

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.

Anonymous

StupidMath

A best friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find, lucky to have.

Anonymous

ShortLifeBest

If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me.

Anonymous

ShortLazy

A cop pulled me over and told me "Papers", so I said "Scissors, I win!" and drove off.

Anonymous

StupidWise

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The best part of going to work is coming back home at the end of the day.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

ShortWorkSayings

I want to change my name on Facebook to "Nobody," so when I see someone posting something stupid I can Like their post and it will say "Nobody likes this."

Anonymous

StupidFacebook

Life isn't measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the number of moments that take your breath away.

Anonymous

LifeMoments

Latest Funny Quotes

I finally realized that people are prisoners of their phones... that's why it's called a "cell" phone.

Anonymous

SayingsPeople

That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.

Anonymous

MomentsTime

My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can't sleep.

Anonymous

LifeSleep

Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.

Anonymous

MomentsGoodPeople

I'm not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too.

Anonymous

ShortSayingsSleep

How do you go to work? Forced! No, I mean how do you arrive there? Depressed.

Anonymous

ShortWork

Sometime you meet such a prince that you'd rather marry the horse.

Anonymous

ShortMarriage

I can't sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge.

Anonymous

ShortStupidKnow

Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.

Anonymous

ShortLife

I was told to check my attitude. I did, and it's still there.. it hasn't gone anywhere. What's the problem?

Anonymous

Life

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