Cool Funny Quotes | 800+ Amusing Sayings and Quotations

Top Quotes

Top seven quotes from the Top 100 funny quotes.

I finally realized that people are prisoners of their phones... that's why it's called a "cell" phone.

Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.

If I had just one hour left to live, I'd spend it in Math class... it never ends.

Life Quotes Math Quotes

How do you go to work? Forced! No, I mean how do you arrive there? Depressed.

Short Quotes Work Quotes

Sponsored Links

Finally it's Friday and I can go out. I'm putting the garbage out and I'll be right back.

That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.

Sometime you meet such a prince that you'd rather marry the horse.

Short Quotes Marriage Quotes

Top 100 Funny Quotes »

Latest Funny Quotes

Your secrets are safe with me... I wasn't even listening.

Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I'm doing while I'm doing it.

Don't blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

Never forget those who helped you along the way... Google, Wikipedia and Dictionary.

Learn from the mistakes of others, you can never live long enough to make them all yourself.

I used to think I was indecisive, but I'm not too sure any more.

I already want to take a nap tomorrow.

Short Quotes Lazy Quotes Sleep Quotes

The trick is to not let people know how weird you are until it's too late for them to back out.

That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

I'm so glad I learned about parallelograms instead of how to do taxes. It's ready handy this parallelogram season.

Displayed 1-16 of 1089 funny quotes.

2
3
4
Next Page »

In a hurry? Read our funny short quotes.

We recommend more funny sayings and life quotations.

Have an amazing quote you want to see here? Share it with the world by clicking here and sending it to us right away. We'd love to hear from you and appreciate all the submissions.