Cool Funny Quotes - 1200 Amusing Sayings and Quotations

Top Quotes

Top seven quotes from the Top 100 funny quotes.

I finally realized that people are prisoners of their phones... that's why it's called a "cell" phone. - Anonymous

I finally realized that people are prisoners of their phones... that's why it's called a "cell" phone. Anonymous

Phone Sayings Top 100

Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it's only Thursday. - Anonymous

Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it's only Thursday. Anonymous

Life Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

God loved the birds and invented trees. Man loved the birds and invented cages.

Jacques Deval

Animals Funny Tree Quotes Man Quotes

Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for 10 minutes and come out wrinkle free and three sizes smaller? - Anonymous

Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for 10 minutes and come out wrinkle free and three sizes smaller? Anonymous

Questions Top 100

Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say "I know it's hard, but you'll be okay. Here's a coffee and a million dollars." - Anonymous

Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say "I know it's hard, but you'll be okay. Here's a coffee and a million dollars." Anonymous

Know Quotes Life Quotes Money Quotes

I changed my password everywhere to 'incorrect.'

I changed my password everywhere to 'incorrect.' That way when I forget it, it always reminds me, 'Your password is incorrect.' Anonymous

Computers Top 100

I get tired from just thinking of everything I have to do. - Anonymous

I get tired from just thinking of everything I have to do. Anonymous

Life Quotes Short Quotes Think Quotes

I don't understand people who say "I don't know how to thank you." Like they never heard of money. - Anonymous

I don't understand people who say "I don't know how to thank you." Like they never heard of money. Anonymous

Money Quotes Top 100

I know my limits. I don't always obey them, but I know them. - Anonymous

I know my limits. I don't always obey them, but I know them. Anonymous

Know Quotes Life Quotes Short Quotes

Dear life, when I said "can this day get any worse" it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge. - Anonymous

Dear life, when I said "can this day get any worse" it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge. Anonymous

Life Quotes Questions Top 100

Displayed 1-7 of 100 top quotes.

Top 100 Funny Quotes »

Latest Funny Quotes

A man's home is his castle, but his garage is his sanctuary. Anonymous

Man Quotes Short Quotes

There is absolutely no excuse for laziness. But if you find one, let me know. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Short Quotes

I'm so lazy that I get jealous when it's bedtime in other countries. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Short Quotes

The awkward moment when someone's zipper is down and you don't know whether to tell them or not. Anonymous

Moments

That awkward moment when it's quiet in class and your stomach decides to sound make whale mating sounds. Anonymous

That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything, and all you can think is: "Act normal, you are innocent." Anonymous

We're all brave in our own way. For example, I'm not afraid of raw cookie dough. Anonymous

Eat Quotes

Hardest thing ever: Controlling your laughter at serious times. Anonymous

Short Quotes

When someone asks "Are you crazy?" Just answer "Yes" to end that conversation. Anonymous

Short Quotes

I don't care what other people think of me, at least mosquitoes find me attractive. Anonymous

Displayed 1-9 of 1464 funny quotes.

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