Cool Funny Quotes - 1200 Amusing Sayings and Quotations

Top Quotes

Top seven quotes from the Top 100 funny quotes.

I finally realized that people are prisoners of their phones... that's why it's called a "cell" phone. - Anonymous

I finally realized that people are prisoners of their phones... that's why it's called a "cell" phone.

Phone Sayings Top 100

You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I'm scared!

You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I'm scared!

Animals Love Quotes Top 100

Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can't see.

Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can't see.

Short Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100

$Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.$

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.

Math Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100

Be crazy, be stupid, be silly, be weird. Be whatever, because life is too short to be anything but happy. - Anonymous

Be crazy, be stupid, be silly, be weird. Be whatever, because life is too short to be anything but happy.

Happy Quotes Life Quotes Stupid Quotes

The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?' - Anonymous

The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?'

Funny Tree Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100

What is the best thing to do when you have a hole in a boat and water is leaking inside? Make another hole to drain the water.

What is the best thing to do when you have a hole in a boat and water is leaking inside? Make another hole to drain the water.

Questions Stupid Quotes Top 100

Displayed 1-7 of 100 top quotes.

Top 100 Funny Quotes »

Latest Funny Quotes

We should start referring to age as "levels." So when you're level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.

I love sarcasm. It's like punching people in the face, but with words.

People Quotes Short Quotes Witty Quotes

I'm not sure what is more scary these days, checking my temperature or checking my weight.

I'm still trying to figure out how "wash your hands often" translates into "buy all the toilet paper you can find."

Are you free tomorrow? No, tomorrow I'm still expensive.

Money Quotes People Quotes Short Quotes

I would've never imaged going into a bank wearing a mask and asking the teller for money.

If I'm constantly bothering you, it means you're an important person.

We all just kind of accept it as normal that we have a meat tentacle living inside of our mouth.

Now that I'm quarantined, I finally realize that my only true hobbies were shopping and eating out.

If your New Years Resolution was to eat out less, you're killing it.

Eat Quotes Short Quotes

Displayed 1-9 of 1265 funny quotes.

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