Cool Funny Quotes - 1200 Amusing Sayings and Quotations

Top Quotes

Top seven quotes from the Top 100 funny quotes.

Life always offers you a second chance. It's called tomorrow.

Life always offers you a second chance. It's called tomorrow. Anonymous

Life Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

Be careful when you follow the masses. Sometimes the M is silent. - Anonymous

Be careful when you follow the masses. Sometimes the M is silent. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes Top 100

The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.

The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.

Walter Bagehot

Life Quotes People Quotes Short Quotes

So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff. - Anonymous

So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff. Anonymous

Life Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

Cheer myself up.

I always try to cheer myself up by singing when I get sad. Most of the time, it turns out that my voice is worse than my problems. Anonymous

Moments Time Quotes Top 100

Yes officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn't see your car. - Anonymous

Yes officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn't see your car. Anonymous

Short Quotes Top 100 Wise Quotes

The most important thing in life is not knowing everything, it's having the phone number of somebody who does!

The most important thing in life is not knowing everything, it's having the phone number of somebody who does! Anonymous

Know Quotes Life Quotes Phone

Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for 10 minutes and come out wrinkle free and three sizes smaller? - Anonymous

Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for 10 minutes and come out wrinkle free and three sizes smaller? Anonymous

Questions Top 100

I don't mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years. - Anonymous

I don't mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years. Anonymous

Life Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100

You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself. - Anonymous

You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Know Quotes Sayings

Displayed 1-7 of 100 top quotes.

Top 100 Funny Quotes »

Latest Funny Quotes

A man's home is his castle, but his garage is his sanctuary. Anonymous

Man Quotes Short Quotes

There is absolutely no excuse for laziness. But if you find one, let me know. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Short Quotes

I'm so lazy that I get jealous when it's bedtime in other countries. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Short Quotes

The awkward moment when someone's zipper is down and you don't know whether to tell them or not. Anonymous

Moments

That awkward moment when it's quiet in class and your stomach decides to sound make whale mating sounds. Anonymous

That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything, and all you can think is: "Act normal, you are innocent." Anonymous

We're all brave in our own way. For example, I'm not afraid of raw cookie dough. Anonymous

Eat Quotes

Hardest thing ever: Controlling your laughter at serious times. Anonymous

Short Quotes

When someone asks "Are you crazy?" Just answer "Yes" to end that conversation. Anonymous

Short Quotes

I don't care what other people think of me, at least mosquitoes find me attractive. Anonymous

Displayed 1-9 of 1464 funny quotes.

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