Cool Funny Quotes | 800+ Amusing Sayings and Quotations

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Top seven quotes from the Top 100 funny quotes.

$Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.$

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.

If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me.

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I'd have to do.

The secret to happiness is not to do what makes you happy, it's to be happy doing what you're already doing.

The secret to happiness is not to do what makes you happy, it's to be happy doing what you're already doing.

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They say that love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?

They say that love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?

Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.

Albert King

How can you make sure you never miss your target? Shoot first, and whatever you hit, call it the target.

How can you make sure you never miss your target? Shoot first, and whatever you hit, call it the target.

Top 100 Funny Quotes »

Latest Funny Quotes

I finally realized that people are prisoners of their phones... that's why it's called a "cell" phone.

That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.

My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can't sleep.

Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.

Moments Good People

I'm not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too.

Short Sayings Sleep

How do you go to work? Forced! No, I mean how do you arrive there? Depressed.

Sometime you meet such a prince that you'd rather marry the horse.

I can't sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge.

Short Stupid Know

Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.

I was told to check my attitude. I did, and it's still there.. it hasn't gone anywhere. What's the problem?

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