Funny Exercise and Dieting Quotes

I love my six pack so much, I protect is with a layer of fat.

Me watching Olympics: Woah! That was outstanding! Announcer: Another devastating mistake.

New year resolutions you can actually keep!
Skip more classes in school.
Call in sick at work more.
Go shopping more often.
Eat more unhealthy food like fries and burgers.
Drink more pop cans instead of freshly squeezing healthy fruits.
Do less exercise and watch more TV.

I follow a rigorous exercise routine that I never get lazy about; fetching beer bottles from the fridge.

I am on a 20 day diet, so far I've lost 10 days.

Of course I'm in shape. Round is a shape.

Instead of calling it the John I'm going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I'd have to do.

Your mind needs exercise just as much as your body does, that's why I think of jogging every day.

The only exercise I've done this month is running... out of money!

I enjoy taking long romantic walks, to the fridge.

Yes of course I am athletic... I surf the Internet every day.

Every morning I do 10 sit-ups, to hit the snooze button on my alarm clock.