Funny Exercise and Dieting Quotes

When the teacher said "Don't forget to bring clothes for Gym," I thought "Who is Jim and why doesn't he bring his own clothes?"

The only exercise I've done this month is running... out of money!

Ironically jogging pants are mostly worn by the laziest people.

I love my six pack so much, I protect is with a layer of fat.

Laughing is one of the best exercises, it's like running inside your mind. You can do it almost anywhere and it's even better with a friend.

I follow a rigorous exercise routine that I never get lazy about; fetching beer bottles from the fridge.

I did a push-up today. Well actually I fell down, but I had to use my arms to get back up, so close enough.

Your mind needs exercise just as much as your body does, that's why I think of jogging every day.

Every morning I do 10 sit-ups, to hit the snooze button on my alarm clock.

I am on a 20 day diet, so far I've lost 10 days.

Me watching Olympics: Woah! That was outstanding! Announcer: Another devastating mistake.

Do I run? Yes.. Out of time, patients and money.

Instead of calling it the John I'm going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.

Exercise? I thought you said extra fries!

Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?

My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch... I call it lunch.

The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning "ability to," and bics, meaning "withstand tremedous boredom."

Yes of course I am athletic... I surf the Internet every day.

Just got 30 minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.

New year resolutions you can actually keep!
Skip more classes in school.
Call in sick at work more.
Go shopping more often.
Eat more unhealthy food like fries and burgers.
Drink more pop cans instead of freshly squeezing healthy fruits.
Do less exercise and watch more TV.

I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief.

I get enough exercise just by pushing my luck!

Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.

I don't need a fancy watch to tell me I'm not fit one bit.