A list of senseless quotations that are dumb and extremely amusing. Even the most naive person can say something really funny.
Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.
Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can't see.
What is the best thing to do when you have a hole in a boat and water is leaking inside? Make another hole to drain the water.
Did you just fall? No, I was checking if gravity still works.
A cop pulled me over and told me "Papers", so I said "Scissors, I win!" and drove off.
Be crazy, be stupid, be silly, be weird. Be whatever, because life is too short to be anything but happy.
The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?'
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you're done.
My friend, remember that without stupidity there wouldn't be intelligence, and without ugliness there wouldn't be beauty, so the world needs you after all.
I don't mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.
I know that I am stupid but when I look around me I feel a lot better.
If you think nothing is impossible, try slamming a revolving door.
It's better to shut up and give the impression that you're stupid than to say something and erase all doubt.
In beer there is freedom, in wine there is health, in cognac there is power and in water there is bacteria.
I put my phone in airplane mode, but it's not flying!
Fart when someone hugs you, it makes them feel strong.
I'm not here to judge, I'm just pointing out all the mistakes you're making.
If what you've done is stupid but it works, then it really isn't that stupid at all.
I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.
Good friends don't let their friends do stupid things alone.
You know your driving is really terrible when your GPS says 'After 300 feet, stop and let me out!'
An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough.
I'm multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.
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