A list of senseless quotations that are dumb and extremely amusing. Even the most naive person can say something really funny.
What is the best thing to do when you have a hole in a boat and water is leaking inside? Make another hole to drain the water.
Did you just fall? No, I was checking if gravity still works.
Teacher: Why are you talking during my lesson? Student: Why are you teaching during my conversation?
Instead of LOL why don't you try LOLWKASF: Laughing Out Loud While Keeping A Straight Face.
I want to be cuddled, but I also want to be left alone. Being crazy is hard.
I'm having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by...
I didn't fall, I'm just spending some quality time with the floor.
Don't be stupid, it might make you famous.
I'm the kind of crazy you weren't warned about because no one knew this level existed.
My advice is to never listen to any advice, not even this one.
My cell phone is acting up, I keep pressing the home button but when I look around, I'm still at work.
Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you.
Dinosaurs never had coffee, and we see how that turned out.
I've made it from the bed to the couch. There's no stopping me now.
Dance like nobody is watching, because they are not, they are all checking their phones.
You can't have everything... where would you put it?
An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough.
No, no, I'm listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once.
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.
Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
When the cop told me to give him my first name and last name I told him, 'Are you crazy? What's my name going to be then?'
Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming.
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