Stupid Funny Quotes

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.

Be crazy, be stupid, be silly, be weird. Be whatever, because life is too short to be anything but happy.

I don't mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.

The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?'

I did not trip and fall. I attacked the floor and I believe I am winning.

What is the best thing to do when you have a hole in a boat and water is leaking inside? Make another hole to drain the water.

When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.

An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough.

Teacher: Why are you talking during my lesson? Student: Why are you teaching during my conversation?

Today I was a hero. I rescued some beer that was trapped in a bottle.

A cop pulled me over and told me "Papers", so I said "Scissors, I win!" and drove off.

Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can't see.

I'm glad I don't have to hunt my own food, I don't even know where sandwiches live.

My friend, remember that without stupidity there wouldn't be intelligence, and without ugliness there wouldn't be beauty, so the world needs you after all.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.