Stupid Funny Quotes

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A list of senseless quotations that are dumb and extremely amusing. Even the most naive person can say something really funny.

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.

Anonymous
Math Quotes Top 100
Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can't see.

Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can't see.

Anonymous
Short Quotes Top 100
What is the best thing to do when you have a hole in a boat and water is leaking inside? Make another hole to drain the water.

What is the best thing to do when you have a hole in a boat and water is leaking inside? Make another hole to drain the water.

Anonymous
Questions Top 100
Did you just fall? No, I was checking if gravity still works. - Anonymous

Did you just fall? No, I was checking if gravity still works.

Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes Top 100
A cop pulled me over and told me "Papers", so I said "Scissors, I win!" and drove off. - Anonymous

A cop pulled me over and told me "Papers", so I said "Scissors, I win!" and drove off.

Anonymous
Top 100 Wise Quotes
Be crazy, be stupid, be silly, be weird. Be whatever, because life is too short to be anything but happy. - Anonymous

Be crazy, be stupid, be silly, be weird. Be whatever, because life is too short to be anything but happy.

Anonymous
Happy Quotes Life Quotes Top 100
The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?' - Anonymous

The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?'

Anonymous
Funny Tree Quotes Top 100 Witty Quotes
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

Albert Einstein
Famous Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you're done.

Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you're done.

Anonymous
Know Quotes Never Quotes Sayings
My friend, remember that without stupidity there wouldn't be intelligence, and without ugliness there wouldn't be beauty, so the world needs you after all.

My friend, remember that without stupidity there wouldn't be intelligence, and without ugliness there wouldn't be beauty, so the world needs you after all.

Anonymous
Sayings Top 100 World Quotes
I don't mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years. - Anonymous

I don't mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.

Anonymous
Life Quotes Top 100
I know that I am stupid but when I look around me I feel a lot better. - Anonymous

I know that I am stupid but when I look around me I feel a lot better.

Anonymous
Know Quotes Short Quotes
If you think nothing is impossible, try slamming a revolving door. - Anonymous

If you think nothing is impossible, try slamming a revolving door.

Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Think Quotes
It's better to shut up and give the impression that you're stupid than to say something and erase all doubt. - Anonymous

It's better to shut up and give the impression that you're stupid than to say something and erase all doubt.

Anonymous
Sayings
In beer there is freedom, in wine there is health, in cognac there is power and in water there is bacteria. - Anonymous

In beer there is freedom, in wine there is health, in cognac there is power and in water there is bacteria.

Anonymous
Beer Quotes Drinking
I put my phone in airplane mode, but it's not flying!

I put my phone in airplane mode, but it's not flying!

CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Phone Short Quotes Top 100
Fart when someone hugs you, it makes them feel strong.

Fart when someone hugs you, it makes them feel strong.

Anonymous
Short Quotes Top 100
I'm not here to judge, I'm just pointing out all the mistakes you're making. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com

I'm not here to judge, I'm just pointing out all the mistakes you're making.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Short Quotes Witty Quotes
If what you've done is stupid but it works, then it really isn't that stupid at all. - David Letterman

If what you've done is stupid but it works, then it really isn't that stupid at all.

David Letterman

Sayings Top 100 Wise Quotes
I solemnly swear that I am up to no good. - Anonymous

I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Anonymous
Good Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
Good friends don't let their friends do stupid things alone. - Anonymous

Good friends don't let their friends do stupid things alone.

Anonymous
Friend Quotes Good Quotes Short Quotes
You know your driving is really terrible when your GPS says 'After 300 feet, stop and let me out!'

You know your driving is really terrible when your GPS says 'After 300 feet, stop and let me out!'

Anonymous
Know Quotes Top 100
An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough. - Anonymous

An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough.

Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
I'm multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time. - Anonymous

I'm multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.

Anonymous
Short Quotes Time Quotes Top 100
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