Stupid Funny Quotes

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A list of senseless quotations that are dumb and extremely amusing. Even the most naive person can say something really funny.

What is the best thing to do when you have a hole in a boat and water is leaking inside? Make another hole to drain the water.

What is the best thing to do when you have a hole in a boat and water is leaking inside? Make another hole to drain the water.

Questions Top 100

Did you just fall? No, I was checking if gravity still works. - Anonymous

Did you just fall? No, I was checking if gravity still works.

Questions Short Quotes Top 100

Teacher: Why are you talking during my lesson? Student: Why are you teaching during my conversation?

Instead of LOL why don't you try LOLWKASF: Laughing Out Loud While Keeping A Straight Face.

I want to be cuddled, but I also want to be left alone. Being crazy is hard.

I'm having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by...

People Quotes Phone Witty Quotes

I didn't fall, I'm just spending some quality time with the floor. - Anonymous

I didn't fall, I'm just spending some quality time with the floor.

Don't be stupid, it might make you famous. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Don't be stupid, it might make you famous.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Famous Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

I'm the kind of crazy you weren't warned about because no one knew this level existed. - Anonymous

I'm the kind of crazy you weren't warned about because no one knew this level existed.

Life Quotes Top 100

My advice is to never listen to any advice, not even this one. - Anonymous

My advice is to never listen to any advice, not even this one.

Short Quotes Wise Quotes Witty Quotes

My cell phone is acting up, I keep pressing the home button but when I look around, I'm still at work.

My cell phone is acting up, I keep pressing the home button but when I look around, I'm still at work.

Phone Work Quotes

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.

Math Quotes Top 100

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

People Quotes Questions Short Quotes

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you. - Anonymous

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you.

Animals Cat Quotes Short Quotes

Dinosaurs never had coffee, and we see how that turned out.

I've made it from the bed to the couch. There's no stopping me now. - Anonymous

I've made it from the bed to the couch. There's no stopping me now.

Lazy Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

Dance like nobody is watching, because they are not, they are all checking their phones. - Anonymous

Dance like nobody is watching, because they are not, they are all checking their phones.

Life Quotes People Quotes Phone

You can't have everything... where would you put it?

You can't have everything... where would you put it?

Steven Alexander Wright

Questions Sayings Short Quotes

An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough. - Anonymous

An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough.

Eat Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

No, no, I'm listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once. - Anonymous

No, no, I'm listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once.

My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden. - Eric Morecambe

My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.

Eric Morecambe

Top 100 Witty Quotes

When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people. - Anonymous

When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.

Know Quotes People Quotes Top 100

Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.

Animals Short Quotes

When the cop told me to give him my first name and last name I told him, 'Are you crazy? What's my name going to be then?'

Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming. - Anonymous

Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming.

Questions Short Quotes Time Quotes

Displayed 1-25 of 163 quotes.