Stupid Funny Quotes

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A list of senseless quotations that are dumb and extremely amusing. Even the most naive person can say something really funny.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Alan Dundes

Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can't see.

Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can't see. Anonymous

Short Quotes Top 100

$Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.$

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you. Anonymous

Math Quotes Top 100

The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?' - Anonymous

The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?' Anonymous

Funny Tree Quotes Top 100 Witty Quotes

A cop pulled me over and told me "Papers", so I said "Scissors, I win!" and drove off. - Anonymous

A cop pulled me over and told me "Papers", so I said "Scissors, I win!" and drove off. Anonymous

Top 100 Wise Quotes

I put my phone in airplane mode, but it's not flying!

I put my phone in airplane mode, but it's not flying! CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Phone Short Quotes Top 100

I would like to apologize to anyone whom I haven't offended yet. Please be patient, I will get to you shortly. - Anonymous

I would like to apologize to anyone whom I haven't offended yet. Please be patient, I will get to you shortly. Anonymous

Teacher: Why are you talking during my lesson? Student: Why are you teaching during my conversation? Anonymous

Be crazy, be stupid, be silly, be weird. Be whatever, because life is too short to be anything but happy. - Anonymous

Be crazy, be stupid, be silly, be weird. Be whatever, because life is too short to be anything but happy. Anonymous

Happy Quotes Life Quotes Top 100

Instead of LOL why don't you try LOLWKASF: Laughing Out Loud While Keeping A Straight Face. Anonymous

Are you free tomorrow? No, tomorrow I'm still expensive. Anonymous

Money Quotes People Quotes Short Quotes

I know that I am stupid but when I look around me I feel a lot better. - Anonymous

I know that I am stupid but when I look around me I feel a lot better. Anonymous

Know Quotes Short Quotes

I don't mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years. - Anonymous

I don't mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years. Anonymous

Life Quotes Top 100

I just wanted you to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does. - Anonymous

I just wanted you to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does. Anonymous

Know Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

Sometimes I'm grateful that thoughts don't appear as bubbles over our heads. - Anonymous

Sometimes I'm grateful that thoughts don't appear as bubbles over our heads. Anonymous

Short Quotes Top 100

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people. Anonymous

People Quotes Questions Short Quotes

I'm multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time. - Anonymous

I'm multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time. Anonymous

Short Quotes Time Quotes Top 100

What is the best thing to do when you have a hole in a boat and water is leaking inside? Make another hole to drain the water.

What is the best thing to do when you have a hole in a boat and water is leaking inside? Make another hole to drain the water. Anonymous

Questions Top 100

If you think nothing is impossible, try slamming a revolving door. - Anonymous

If you think nothing is impossible, try slamming a revolving door. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes Think Quotes

Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you're done.

Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you're done. Anonymous

Know Quotes Never Quotes Sayings

Your legs must be tired because you have been running through my mind all night.

Your legs must be tired because you have been running through my mind all night. Anonymous

Don't be stupid, it might make you famous. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Don't be stupid, it might make you famous. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Famous Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

If what you've done is stupid but it works, then it really isn't that stupid at all. - David Letterman

If what you've done is stupid but it works, then it really isn't that stupid at all.

David Letterman

Sayings Top 100 Wise Quotes

After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."

Ronnie Shakes

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