Stupid Funny Quotes
A list of senseless quotations that are dumb and extremely amusing. Even the most naive person can say something really funny.
Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you. Anonymous
The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?' Anonymous
I don't understand what's bothering you honey, I bring you coffee in bed every morning, all you have to do is grind it. Anonymous
I did not trip and fall. I attacked the floor and I believe I am winning. Anonymous
I wish that all of my enemies had three cars parked in front of their house. An ambulance, fire truck and police car. Anonymous
Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working. Anonymous
Be crazy, be stupid, be silly, be weird. Be whatever, because life is too short to be anything but happy. Anonymous
Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you. Anonymous
Why didn't I use my turn signals? It's nobody's business where I'm going. Anonymous
When someone yells stop I don't know whether it's in the name of love, it's Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers. Anonymous
You know your driving is really terrible when your GPS says 'After 300 feet, stop and let me out!' Anonymous
My kitchen cleaner says "for a clean kitchen" so I can't use it, mine is dirty. Anonymous
Did you just fall? No, I was checking if gravity still works. Anonymous
Displayed 1-24 of 168 quotes.