Stupid Funny Quotes

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A list of senseless quotations that are dumb and extremely amusing. Even the most naive person can say something really funny.

What is the best thing to do when you have a hole in a boat and water is leaking inside? Make another hole to drain the water.

What is the best thing to do when you have a hole in a boat and water is leaking inside? Make another hole to drain the water.

Anonymous
Questions Top 100
Did you just fall? No, I was checking if gravity still works. - Anonymous

Did you just fall? No, I was checking if gravity still works.

Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes Top 100

Teacher: Why are you talking during my lesson? Student: Why are you teaching during my conversation?

Anonymous
Questions

Instead of LOL why don't you try LOLWKASF: Laughing Out Loud While Keeping A Straight Face.

Anonymous
Witty Quotes

I want to be cuddled, but I also want to be left alone. Being crazy is hard.

Anonymous
Short Quotes

I'm having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by...

Anonymous
People Quotes Phone Witty Quotes
I didn't fall, I'm just spending some quality time with the floor. - Anonymous

I didn't fall, I'm just spending some quality time with the floor.

Anonymous
Short Quotes
Don't be stupid, it might make you famous. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Don't be stupid, it might make you famous.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Famous Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.

Anonymous
Math Quotes Top 100
I'm the kind of crazy you weren't warned about because no one knew this level existed. - Anonymous

I'm the kind of crazy you weren't warned about because no one knew this level existed.

Anonymous
Life Quotes Top 100
My advice is to never listen to any advice, not even this one. - Anonymous

My advice is to never listen to any advice, not even this one.

Anonymous
Short Quotes Wise Quotes Witty Quotes
My cell phone is acting up, I keep pressing the home button but when I look around, I'm still at work.

My cell phone is acting up, I keep pressing the home button but when I look around, I'm still at work.

Anonymous
Phone Work Quotes
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

Anonymous
People Quotes Questions Short Quotes
Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you. - Anonymous

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you.

Anonymous
Animals Cat Quotes Short Quotes

Dinosaurs never had coffee, and we see how that turned out.

Anonymous
Short Quotes
I've made it from the bed to the couch. There's no stopping me now. - Anonymous

I've made it from the bed to the couch. There's no stopping me now.

Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
Dance like nobody is watching, because they are not, they are all checking their phones. - Anonymous

Dance like nobody is watching, because they are not, they are all checking their phones.

Anonymous
Life Quotes People Quotes Phone
You can't have everything... where would you put it?

You can't have everything... where would you put it?

Steven Alexander Wright
Questions Sayings Short Quotes
An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough. - Anonymous

An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough.

Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
No, no, I'm listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once. - Anonymous

No, no, I'm listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once.

Anonymous
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden. - Eric Morecambe

My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.

Eric Morecambe

Top 100 Witty Quotes
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people. - Anonymous

When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.

Anonymous
Know Quotes People Quotes Top 100
I just wanted you to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does. - Anonymous

I just wanted you to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.

Anonymous
Know Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
Your legs must be tired because you have been running through my mind all night.

Your legs must be tired because you have been running through my mind all night.

Anonymous
Love Quotes

Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.

Anonymous
Animals Short Quotes
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