Stupid Funny Quotes

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A list of senseless quotations that are dumb and extremely amusing. Even the most naive person can say something really funny.

I didn't fall, I'm just spending some quality time with the floor.

Anonymous

Short Quotes
My cell phone is acting up, I keep pressing the home button but when I look around, I'm still at work.

My cell phone is acting up, I keep pressing the home button but when I look around, I'm still at work.

Anonymous

Sayings

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave.

Anonymous

Short QuotesSayings

I would like to apologize to anyone whom I haven't offended yet. Please be patient, I will get to you shortly.

Anonymous

Sayings

Sponsored Links

Finally it's Friday and I can go out. I'm putting the garbage out and I'll be right back.

Anonymous

Life Quotes

I'm the kind of crazy you weren't warned about because no one knew this level existed.

Anonymous

Life Quotes

Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming.

Anonymous

Short QuotesQuestionsTime Quotes

If you had to choose between eating tacos every day or being skinny for life would you choose hard or soft tacos?

Anonymous

Life QuotesQuestionsEat Quotes

I'm a ninja! No you're not. Did you see that? See what? Exactly!

Anonymous

Short Quotes

I don't have the time or crayons to explain myself to you.

Anonymous

Short QuotesTime QuotesPeople Quotes

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Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working.

Anonymous

QuestionsKnow Quotes
I'm not crazy, my unicorn just needs a tuneup.

I'm not crazy, my unicorn just needs a tuneup.

Anonymous

Short QuotesPeople Quotes

I am so broke, I can't even afford to fill up my bicycle.

Anonymous

Short QuotesSayingsMoney Quotes
Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.

Anonymous

Math Quotes

A cop pulled me over and told me "Papers", so I said "Scissors, I win!" and drove off.

Anonymous

Wise Quotes

I want to change my name on Facebook to "Nobody," so when I see someone posting something stupid I can Like their post and it will say "Nobody likes this."

Anonymous

Facebook

Be crazy, be stupid, be silly, be weird. Be whatever, because life is too short to be anything but happy.

Anonymous

Life QuotesHappy Quotes

Lead me not into temptation... Oh who am I kidding, follow me, I know a shortcut.

Anonymous

SayingsKnow Quotes

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