Cats, dogs, and most animals have a magical way of being funny and cute without even trying. If you're an animal lover you will love these.
You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I'm scared!
Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you.
Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.
I was thinking of getting a German Shepherd once, but I didn't want to learn another language just to have a dog.
Cat life mice can foxes be wolves boring frogs but grasshopper let's swan love it cow anyhow. Now read it again without the animals.
Why was the rabbit chasing the frog? Because the frog kept calling out "riaabit.. riabbit.."
Why can't cats work on the computer? They get too distracted chasing the mouse around.
I feel sorry for people who don't have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor.
If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog.
What's happening with your phone, every time I call you it says 'The subscriber you're calling is a monkey, please contact the zoo.'
What keys can't open locks? Monkeys, donkeys and turkeys.
If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.
Three monkeys escaped from the zoo, one was caught watching TV, the other playing hockey, and the third one was caught reading this quote!
My windows aren't dirty, my dog is painting.
You can trust your dog to guard your house but never trust your dog to guard your sandwich.
I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.
What animal can jump higher than a house? Any animal that can jump at all, because houses can't jump.
I'm sorry that I'm not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse.
If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge?
For the best seat in the house, you'll have to move the dog.
You can teach a cat to do anything that it wants to do.
Never play poker with the world's fastest animal, because he's a cheetah.
What are the two magic words that you can always use to make a shark happy? "Man Overboard!"
I love you so much I'd fight a bear for you. Well not a grizzly bear because they have claws, and not a panda bear because they know Kung Fu... But a care bear, I'd definitely fight a care bear for you.
If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.
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