Cats, dogs, and most animals have a magical way of being funny and cute without even trying. If you're an animal lover you will love these.
You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I'm scared!
Taking a dog named shark to the beach is a bad idea.
Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.
Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you.
Cat life mice can foxes be wolves boring frogs but grasshopper let's swan love it cow anyhow. Now read it again without the animals.
I'm sorry that I'm not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse.
I feel sorry for people who don't have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor.
If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog.
What's happening with your phone, every time I call you it says 'The subscriber you're calling is a monkey, please contact the zoo.'
You can trust your dog to guard your house but never trust your dog to guard your sandwich.
You can teach a cat to do anything that it wants to do.
Three monkeys escaped from the zoo, one was caught watching TV, the other playing hockey, and the third one was caught reading this quote!
Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Because they have thick fingers.
What animal can jump higher than a house? Any animal that can jump at all, because houses can't jump.
Why can't cats work on the computer? They get too distracted chasing the mouse around.
Never play poker with the world's fastest animal, because he's a cheetah.
I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.
If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge?
I was thinking of getting a German Shepherd once, but I didn't want to learn another language just to have a dog.
Pro Tip: In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place weiners and/or cheese slices in your pockets so the search dogs can find you first.
A zooology teacher asks the class 'What is the one animal in the jungle that a lion is afraid of?' The class answers: a lioness.
Remember: Don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river.
Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
What keys can't open locks? Monkeys, donkeys and turkeys.
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