Funny Animal Quotes

You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I'm scared!

Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.

You can trust your dog to guard your house but never trust your dog to guard your sandwich.

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you.

Today I saw a woman talking to her cat, she really thought the cat understood. I told my dog when I got home... we both had a good laugh.

I feel sorry for people who don't have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor.

Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Because they have thick fingers.

Taking a dog named shark to the beach is a bad idea.

Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. Lesson learned.

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

I'm sorry that I'm not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse.

I named my dog "5 Miles," so I can tell people I walk 5 miles every day.

Pro Tip: In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place weiners and/or cheese slices in your pockets so the search dogs can find you first.

I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.