Funny Animal Quotes

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Cats, dogs, and most animals have a magical way of being funny and cute without even trying. If you're an animal lover you will love these.

You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I'm scared!

You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I'm scared! Anonymous

Love Quotes Top 100

Taking a dog named shark to the beach is a bad idea. Anonymous

Dog Quotes Short Quotes

Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once. - Anonymous

Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once. Anonymous

People Quotes Short Quotes Witty Quotes

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you. - Anonymous

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you. Anonymous

Cat Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

I feel sorry for people who don't have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor.

I feel sorry for people who don't have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor. Anonymous

Dog Quotes Eat Quotes People Quotes

Cat life mice can foxes be wolves boring frogs but grasshopper let's swan love it cow anyhow. Now read it again without the animals. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Cat life mice can foxes be wolves boring frogs but grasshopper let's swan love it cow anyhow. Now read it again without the animals. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Cat Quotes Life Quotes Top 100

I'm sorry that I'm not updating my Facebook status.

I'm sorry that I'm not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse. Anonymous

Cat Quotes Computers Facebook

Three monkeys escaped from the zoo, one was caught watching TV, the other playing hockey, and the third one was caught reading this quote! - Anonymous

Three monkeys escaped from the zoo, one was caught watching TV, the other playing hockey, and the third one was caught reading this quote! Anonymous

TV Quotes Top 100 Witty Quotes

What's happening with your phone, every time I call you it says 'The subscriber you're calling is a monkey, please contact the zoo.' - Anonymous

What's happening with your phone, every time I call you it says 'The subscriber you're calling is a monkey, please contact the zoo.' Anonymous

Phone Stupid Quotes Time Quotes

I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives. - Anonymous

I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives. Anonymous

What animal can jump higher than a house? Any animal that can jump at all, because houses can't jump. - Anonymous

What animal can jump higher than a house? Any animal that can jump at all, because houses can't jump. Anonymous

Questions Top 100

If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog.

If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog. Anonymous

Dog Quotes Sayings Statements

A zooology teacher asks the class 'What is the one animal in the jungle that a lion is afraid of?' The class answers: a lioness. - Anonymous

A zooology teacher asks the class 'What is the one animal in the jungle that a lion is afraid of?' The class answers: a lioness. Anonymous

Why can't cats work on the computer? They get too distracted chasing the mouse around.

Why can't cats work on the computer? They get too distracted chasing the mouse around. Anonymous

Cat Quotes Computers Questions

If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge?

If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge? CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Dog Quotes Think Quotes

You can trust your dog to guard your house.

You can trust your dog to guard your house but never trust your dog to guard your sandwich. Anonymous

Dog Quotes Eat Quotes Never Quotes

Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Because they have thick fingers. - Anonymous

Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Because they have thick fingers. Anonymous

Questions Short Quotes Top 100

What keys can't open locks? Monkeys, donkeys and turkeys. - Anonymous

What keys can't open locks? Monkeys, donkeys and turkeys. Anonymous

Questions Short Quotes

Newspaper Ad. FREE PUPPIES: Half cocker spaniel, half sneaky neighbors dog. - Anonymous

Newspaper Ad. FREE PUPPIES: Half cocker spaniel, half sneaky neighbors dog. Anonymous

Dog Quotes Short Quotes

Never play poker with the world's fastest animal, because he's a cheetah. - Anonymous

Never play poker with the world's fastest animal, because he's a cheetah. Anonymous

Never Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

I was thinking of getting a German Shepherd once, but I didn't want to learn another language just to have a dog.

I was thinking of getting a German Shepherd once, but I didn't want to learn another language just to have a dog. Anonymous

Dog Quotes Think Quotes Top 100

You can teach a cat to do...

You can teach a cat to do anything that it wants to do. Anonymous

Cat Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

Bought a talking parrot today and taught him to say Help, I've been turned into a parrot.

Bought a talking parrot today and taught him to say "Help, I've been turned into a parrot." Anonymous

My windows aren't dirty, my dog is painting. - Anonymous

My windows aren't dirty, my dog is painting. Anonymous

Dog Quotes Short Quotes

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