Funny Animal Quotes

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Cats, dogs, and most animals have a magical way of being funny and cute without even trying. If you're an animal lover you will love these.

You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I'm scared!

You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I'm scared! Anonymous

Love Quotes Top 100

When I finish eating something I have to show my hands to the dog, like I'm a blackjack dealer... Anonymous

Today I saw a woman talking to her cat, she really thought the cat understood. I told my dog when I got home... we both had a good laugh. - Anonymous

Today I saw a woman talking to her cat, she really thought the cat understood. I told my dog when I got home... we both had a good laugh. Anonymous

Cat Quotes Dog Quotes

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Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once. - Anonymous

Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once. Anonymous

People Quotes Short Quotes Witty Quotes

Taking a dog named shark to the beach is a bad idea. Anonymous

Dog Quotes Short Quotes

I named my dog "5 Miles," so I can tell people I walk 5 miles every day. Anonymous

Dog Quotes Short Quotes

I'm sorry that I'm not updating my Facebook status.

I'm sorry that I'm not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse. Anonymous

Cat Quotes Computers Facebook

If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog.

If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog. Anonymous

Dog Quotes Sayings Statements

I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives. - Anonymous

I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives. Anonymous

I'm not bored of being quarantined, last night I even struck up a conversation with a spider. Turns out he's a web designer. Anonymous

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you. - Anonymous

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you. Anonymous

Cat Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

I feel sorry for people who don't have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor.

I feel sorry for people who don't have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor. Anonymous

Dog Quotes Eat Quotes People Quotes

Cat life mice can foxes be wolves boring frogs but grasshopper let's swan love it cow anyhow. Now read it again without the animals. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Cat life mice can foxes be wolves boring frogs but grasshopper let's swan love it cow anyhow. Now read it again without the animals. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Cat Quotes Life Quotes Top 100

Never play poker with the world's fastest animal, because he's a cheetah. - Anonymous

Never play poker with the world's fastest animal, because he's a cheetah. Anonymous

Never Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

I love you so much I'd fight a bear for you. Well not a grizzly bear because they have claws, and not a panda bear because they know Kung Fu... But a care bear, I'd definitely fight a care bear for you. - Anonymous

I love you so much I'd fight a bear for you. Well not a grizzly bear because they have claws, and not a panda bear because they know Kung Fu... But a care bear, I'd definitely fight a care bear for you. Anonymous

Know Quotes Love Quotes

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My windows aren't dirty, my dog is painting. - Anonymous

My windows aren't dirty, my dog is painting. Anonymous

Dog Quotes Short Quotes

For the best seat in the house, you'll have to move the dog.

For the best seat in the house, you'll have to move the dog. Anonymous

Dog Quotes Short Quotes

Pro Tip: In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place weiners and/or cheese slices in your pockets so the search dogs can find you first. - Anonymous

Pro Tip: In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place weiners and/or cheese slices in your pockets so the search dogs can find you first. Anonymous

You can trust your dog to guard your house.

You can trust your dog to guard your house but never trust your dog to guard your sandwich. Anonymous

Dog Quotes Eat Quotes Never Quotes

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing, right in your ear. - Dave Barry

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing, right in your ear. Dave Barry

In spring birds return from their tropical vacation. Six months later they regret their decision and go back. - Anonymous

In spring birds return from their tropical vacation. Six months later they regret their decision and go back. Anonymous

What's happening with your phone, every time I call you it says 'The subscriber you're calling is a monkey, please contact the zoo.' - Anonymous

What's happening with your phone, every time I call you it says 'The subscriber you're calling is a monkey, please contact the zoo.' Anonymous

Phone Stupid Quotes Time Quotes

Three monkeys escaped from the zoo, one was caught watching TV, the other playing hockey, and the third one was caught reading this quote! - Anonymous

Three monkeys escaped from the zoo, one was caught watching TV, the other playing hockey, and the third one was caught reading this quote! Anonymous

TV Quotes Top 100 Witty Quotes

Why can't cats work on the computer? They get too distracted chasing the mouse around.

Why can't cats work on the computer? They get too distracted chasing the mouse around. Anonymous

Cat Quotes Computers Questions

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