Funny Animal Quotes

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Cats, dogs, and most animals have a magical way of being funny and cute without even trying. If you're an animal lover you will love these.

You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I'm scared!

You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I'm scared!

Love Quotes Top 100

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you. - Anonymous

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you.

Cat Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

I was thinking of getting a German Shepherd once, but I didn't want to learn another language just to have a dog.

I was thinking of getting a German Shepherd once, but I didn't want to learn another language just to have a dog.

Dog Quotes Think Quotes Top 100

Why was the rabbit chasing the frog? Because the frog kept calling out "riaabit.. riabbit.."

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Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once. - Anonymous

Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.

People Quotes Short Quotes Witty Quotes

Cat life mice can foxes be wolves boring frogs but grasshopper let's swan love it cow anyhow. Now read it again without the animals. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Cat life mice can foxes be wolves boring frogs but grasshopper let's swan love it cow anyhow. Now read it again without the animals.

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Cat Quotes Life Quotes Top 100

If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.

Jack Handey

Eat Quotes Famous Quotes People Quotes

Why can't cats work on the computer? They get too distracted chasing the mouse around.

Why can't cats work on the computer? They get too distracted chasing the mouse around.

Cat Quotes Computers Questions

What's happening with your phone, every time I call you it says 'The subscriber you're calling is a monkey, please contact the zoo.' - Anonymous

What's happening with your phone, every time I call you it says 'The subscriber you're calling is a monkey, please contact the zoo.'

Phone Stupid Quotes Time Quotes

Three monkeys escaped from the zoo, one was caught watching TV, the other playing hockey, and the third one was caught reading this quote! - Anonymous

Three monkeys escaped from the zoo, one was caught watching TV, the other playing hockey, and the third one was caught reading this quote!

TV Quotes Top 100 Witty Quotes

My windows aren't dirty, my dog is painting. - Anonymous

My windows aren't dirty, my dog is painting.

Dog Quotes Short Quotes

What keys can't open locks? Monkeys, donkeys and turkeys. - Anonymous

What keys can't open locks? Monkeys, donkeys and turkeys.

Questions Short Quotes

If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog.

If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog.

Dog Quotes Sayings Statements

I feel sorry for people who don't have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor.

I feel sorry for people who don't have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor.

Dog Quotes Eat Quotes People Quotes

You can trust your dog to guard your house.

You can trust your dog to guard your house but never trust your dog to guard your sandwich.

Dog Quotes Eat Quotes Never Quotes

What animal can jump higher than a house? Any animal that can jump at all, because houses can't jump. - Anonymous

What animal can jump higher than a house? Any animal that can jump at all, because houses can't jump.

Questions Top 100

I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives. - Anonymous

I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.

Never play poker with the world's fastest animal, because he's a cheetah. - Anonymous

Never play poker with the world's fastest animal, because he's a cheetah.

Never Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

How was the dog's day? Ruff. - Anonymous

How was the dog's day? Ruff.

Dog Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.

If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.

Cat Quotes Short Quotes

If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge?

If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge?

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Dog Quotes Think Quotes

What are the two magic words that you can always use to make a shark happy? "Man Overboard!" - CoolFunnyQuotes.com

What are the two magic words that you can always use to make a shark happy? "Man Overboard!"

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Happy Quotes Man Quotes

The hardest part of trying to steal one sheep is stopping the rest of them from following.

The hardest part of trying to steal one sheep is stopping the rest of them from following.

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I'm sorry that I'm not updating my Facebook status.

I'm sorry that I'm not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse.

Cat Quotes Computers Facebook

Never stand between a dog and the fire hydrant.

Never stand between a dog and the fire hydrant.

John Peer

Dog Quotes Never Quotes Short Quotes

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