I'm sorry, I didn't realize that you're an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please continue while I take notes.
I can't decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or they are living it to the fullest.
Everyone should believe in something. I believe I should be on a beach drinking margaritas.
If every day is a gift, then today I got socks.
Everyone is posting their vacation pictures and I'm like... I went to the grocery store.
"Don't worry you'll live." What are you a doctor or something?
What type of exercise do lazy people do? Diddly squats.
You know you're a mom when you understand why mama bear's porridge was cold.
Another fine day ruined by responsibilities...
I don't know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up.
Do I run? Yes.. Out of time, patients and money.
Me: What a terrible day. Mom: Be more positive! Me: What a beautiful terrible day.
If you think nobody cares that you're alive try missing a couple of payments.
Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can't beat surfing the net.
I know my limits. I don't always obey them, but I know them.
Whenever I have a headache I take 2 aspirin and keep away from children, just like it says on the bottle.
Life status: Currently holding it all together with one bobby pin.
"Tomorrow is another day..." Oh sorry, I thought the world is ending today.
Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to.
Childhood injuries: Fell off my bike, fell out of a tree, twisted my ankle. Adult injuries: Slept wrong, sat down too long, sneezed too hard.
I am physically, mentally and emotionally ready to enter a new phase in my life.... hibernation.
Learn from the mistakes of others, you can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery and today is gift. That's why we call it the "present."
Be bold, be italic, but never regular.
I'm not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing.
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