The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.
I'm not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing.
Everyone should believe in something. I believe I should be on a beach drinking margaritas.
Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to.
Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won't be able to see us.
I was gonna take over the world today but I overslept. Postponed, again!
Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face.
Life is too short to remove USB safely.
I consider myself a crayon, I might not be your favorite color but one day you'll need me to complete your picture.
Life is like a very long TV show, without a remote control.
The richer you get, the more expensive happiness becomes.
When life closes a door, just open it again. It's a door, that's how they work.
Friends are chocolate chips in the cookie of life!
The secret of success is to go from mistake to mistake without losing your enthusiasm.
I had an extremely busy day, converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.
If I'm silent it's because there's thunder inside me. Or I'm just chilling, may the odds be in your favor.
If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.
All my life I thought air was free, until I bought a bag of chips.
I'm so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed.
Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it's only Thursday.
Dear sleep, I'm sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back!
What type of exercise do lazy people do? Diddly squats.
If life is not smiling at you, give it a good tickling.
The best things in life are free. The rest are too expensive.
At night, I can't fall asleep. In the morning, I can't get up.
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