Marriage Quotes

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About the married life, wives, husbands and more. Send these to your wife or husband on your anniversary and watch them laugh until they cry.

I always help my wife out with housework such as washing the dishes and doing the laundry. She washes them, and I let them dry.

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In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

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My wife never gives up. She is so insistent that she entered the wrong password over and over again until she managed to convince the computer that she's right!

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When you see a couple walking down the street holding hands and laughing, you look over to your side and the only thing you're holding is a half eaten sandwich.

Violet Matters

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My wife loves me so much, she tries her best to attract me to her. The other day she put on a perfume that smells like a computer.

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I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Rita Rudner

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If you want your wife to listen to you, then talk to another woman; she will be all ears.

Being married means mostly shouting "What?" from other rooms.

Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.

The most important four words for a successful marriage: 'I'll do the dishes.'

The most important four words for a successful marriage: 'I'll do the dishes.'

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Sometime you meet such a prince that you'd rather marry the horse.

Me and my wife lived happily for twenty years.... then we met.

Me and my wife lived happily for twenty years.... then we met.

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Marriage is like a walk in the park... Jurrasic Park.

I looked into my wallet and it was empty, I looked through all my pockets and they were all empty.

I looked into my wallet and it was empty, I looked through all my pockets and they were all empty. Then I looked into my heart and I found you, and only then I figured out how rich I was.

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When a couple is arguing over who loves who more, the one that gives up is the real winner.

When a couple is arguing over who loves who more, the one that gives up is the real winner.

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My wife told me the other day that I don't take her to expensive places any more, so I took her to the gas station.

I now pronounce you man and wife, you may now change your Facebook status.

I now pronounce you man and wife, you may now change your Facebook status.

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Marriage is the bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them.

Marriage is the bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them.

Ogden Nash