Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it's a brighter day.
I don't understand why judges get paid so much, others judge me for free.
I finally realized that people are prisoners of their phones... that's why it's called a "cell" phone.
So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn't for throwing at people who stress you out?
If you keep annoying me, I'll give your phone number to all the kids and tell them it's Santa's hotline.
Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.
I hope we're good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people.
Some people walk into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts. Others walk into our lives and we want to leave footprints on their face!
Two mysterious people live in my house. "Somebody" and "Nobody." Somebody did it and nobody knows who.
Some people aren't just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone.
Some of the greatest ideas of all time have come to people during Math class... none of which had anything to do with Math.
I don't have the time or crayons to explain myself to you.
If lying was a job some people would be billionaires.
If people are talking behind your back, be happy that you are the one in front.
My goal this weekend is to move... just enough so people don't think I'm dead.
Lazy people fact #2347827309018287. You were too lazy to read that number.
When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don't answer because I'm eating.
Never trust someone who takes hours to text you back, but when you hang out with them they check their phone every minute.
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