Funny Sayings

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Here is a great collection of witty funny sayings that is sure to put a smile on your face. Cast your vote for the best saying and see which phrases other people liked.

How can you make sure you never miss your target? Shoot first, and whatever you hit, call it the target.

How can you make sure you never miss your target? Shoot first, and whatever you hit, call it the target.

Wise Quotes Never Quotes

If what you've done is stupid but it works, then it really isn't that stupid at all.

David Letterman

Stupid Quotes Wise Quotes

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

Albert Einstein

Don't be stupid, it might make you famous.

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Short Quotes Stupid Quotes Wise Quotes

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I don't think inside the box and I don't think outside the box... I don't even know where the box is.

Wise Quotes Know Quotes Think Quotes

If you think nothing is impossible, try slamming a revolving door.

Short Quotes Stupid Quotes Think Quotes

Common sense is like deodorant, those who need it the most never use it.

Two mysterious people live in my house. "Somebody" and "Nobody." Somebody did it and nobody knows who.

Life Quotes Know Quotes Live Quotes

Pleasing everyone, that's impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake!

Short Quotes Wise Quotes

If a philosopher answers your question, you will no longer understand what you asked in the first place.

If a philosopher answers your question, you will no longer understand what you asked in the first place.

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There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.

It's funny how nobody notices all the good things you do until you don't do them.

Work Quotes Good Quotes

Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous.

Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous.

Albert Einstein

Short Quotes Famous Quotes

It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.

It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.

Marilyn Monroe

Short Quotes Famous Quotes

Isn't it funny how red white and blue represent freedom, unless they're flashing behind you?

I love ordering things online because when they arrive it's like a present from me to me.

If you don't like me, remember it's mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter.

Never wrestle with a pig. You'll both get dirty, and the pig likes it.

Short Quotes Wise Quotes Never Quotes

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