Funny quotes about eating and food.
You can trust your dog to guard your house but never trust your dog to guard your sandwich.
I feel sorry for people who don't have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor.
You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself.
Dear Diamond, we all know who is really a girl's best friend. Sincerely yours, Chocolate Cake.
There's nothing better than a good friend, except for a good friend with chocolate.
All my life I thought air was free, until I bought a bag of chips.
Give a man a fish and he will have food for one day. Teach him to catch fish and he will spend all day at the lake drinking beer.
I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake.
A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.
I'm glad I don't have to hunt my own food, I don't even know where sandwiches live.
My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
Whenever I am sad I go to my favorite place... the fridge.
I'm gonna order a pizza 5 minutes before the new year, then when it arrives I'll say I ordered this last year.
It's all fun and games until your jeans don't fit any more.
The difference between pizza and your opinion is that I actually asked for pizza.
My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch... I call it lunch.
Chocolate is great, it gives you energy which can be used to go buy more chocolate.
Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.
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