Funny Quotes About Eating

Friends buy you food. Best friends eat your food.

An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough.

In the morning I can't eat, I'm thinking of you. In the evening I can't eat, I'm thinking of you. In the night I can't sleep.. I'm so hungry!

I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake.

If we shouldn't eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge?

A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.

Math: the only place where you have to figure out the ratio of yellow candy to blue candy when all you're thinking about is eating them.

How do I like my eggs? In a cake.

I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful.

I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.

I'm like Pacman when I'm at a party, I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.

If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.

When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

New year resolutions you can actually keep!
Skip more classes in school.
Call in sick at work more.
Go shopping more often.
Eat more unhealthy food like fries and burgers.
Drink more pop cans instead of freshly squeezing healthy fruits.
Do less exercise and watch more TV.

I'm so sorry about what I said when I was hungry.

I am on a 20 day diet, so far I've lost 10 days.

A cookie a day keeps the sadness away. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back.

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.

Square box, round pizza, triangle slices, now that's confusing.

Nine out of ten people love chocolate, and the 10th person is always lying.

I'm gonna order a pizza 5 minutes before the new year, then when it arrives I'll say I ordered this last year.

Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it.

If you don't cut the cake in pieces and just eat the whole cake, then you only had one piece.

I thought about losing weight once, but I don't like losing.