Funny Quotes About Eating

You can trust your dog to guard your house but never trust your dog to guard your sandwich.

Anonymous

I feel sorry for people who don't have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor.

Anonymous

Dear Diamond, we all know who is really a girl's best friend. Sincerely yours, Chocolate Cake.

Anonymous

You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself.

Anonymous

There's nothing better than a good friend, except for a good friend with chocolate.

Anonymous

Give a man a fish and he will have food for one day. Teach him to catch fish and he will spend all day at the lake drinking beer.

Anonymous

I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake.

Anonymous

All my life I thought air was free, until I bought a bag of chips.

Anonymous

A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.

Anonymous

I'm glad I don't have to hunt my own food, I don't even know where sandwiches live.

Anonymous

I'm gonna order a pizza 5 minutes before the new year, then when it arrives I'll say I ordered this last year.

Anonymous

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.

Henny Youngman

It's all fun and games until your jeans don't fit any more.

Anonymous

The difference between pizza and your opinion is that I actually asked for pizza.

Anonymous

My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch... I call it lunch.

Anonymous

Chocolate is great, it gives you energy which can be used to go buy more chocolate.

Anonymous

An apple a day keeps anyone anyway, if you throw it hard enough.

Anonymous

You just can't live a full life on an empty stomach.

Anonymous