Funny Quotes About Eating

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.

Henny Youngman

I feel sorry for people who don't have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor.

Anonymous

You can trust your dog to guard your house but never trust your dog to guard your sandwich.

Anonymous

There's nothing better than a good friend, except for a good friend with chocolate.

Anonymous

Give a man a fish and he will have food for one day. Teach him to catch fish and he will spend all day at the lake drinking beer.

Anonymous

You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself.

Anonymous

When you see a couple walking down the street holding hands and laughing, you look over to your side and the only thing you're holding is a half eaten sandwich.

Violet Matters

All my life I thought air was free, until I bought a bag of chips.

Anonymous

A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.

Anonymous

I am on a 20 day diet, so far I've lost 10 days.

Anonymous

Nine out of ten people love chocolate, and the 10th person is always lying.

Anonymous

Birthdays are nature's way of feeding us cake.

Anonymous

Our toaster has two settings: too soon or too late.

Sam Levenson

I'm so sorry about what I said when I was hungry.

Anonymous

Dear Diamond, we all know who is really a girl's best friend. Sincerely yours, Chocolate Cake.

Anonymous

I'm gonna order a pizza 5 minutes before the new year, then when it arrives I'll say I ordered this last year.

Anonymous

I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake.

Anonymous

An apple a day keeps anyone anyway, if you throw it hard enough.

Anonymous