Stupid Funny Quotes
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. Henny Youngman
Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories... Steven Alexander Wright
It's easy to stop smoking. I stopped smoking today with no problems. I also stopped yesterday too, and the day before that. Anonymous
Two fleas are coming out of a bar when one asks the other 'Do we take a dog or do we walk home?' Anonymous
Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects. Dave Barry
I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place. Steven Alexander Wright
If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.
When inspiration does not come to me, I go halfway to meet it. Sigmund Freud
What is the best thing to do when you have a hole in a boat and water is leaking inside? Make another hole to drain the water. Anonymous
After a while, I eventually fell in love and there was nobody to pick me up. Anonymous
My advice is to never listen to any advice, not even this one. Anonymous
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