Stupid Funny Quotes

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It snowed so much last night that this morning my backyard was full of penguins.
It snowed so much last night that this morning my backyard was full of penguins.
 Anonymous
Stop saying "B4" instead of "Before," you're ruining my Bingo game.
Stop saying "B4" instead of "Before," you're ruining my Bingo game.
 Anonymous
Short Quotes
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. Dave Barry
Beer Quotes Drinking Famous Quotes
What I do when I see someone pretty is, I stare, I smile then when I get tired I put the mirror down.
What I do when I see someone pretty is, I stare, I smile then when I get tired I put the mirror down.
 Anonymous
Top 100
If you don't like your job, you don't strike! You just go in every day, and do it really half assed. That's the American way. - Homer Simpson

Simpsons

Work Quotes
Intelligence is chasing me, but I'm beating it so far. - Anonymous
Intelligence is chasing me, but I'm beating it so far.
 Anonymous
Short Quotes
I did not trip and fall. I attacked the floor and I believe I am winning.
I did not trip and fall. I attacked the floor and I believe I am winning.
 Anonymous
Short Quotes Top 100
Don't ask me anything, and I won't tell you any lies.
Don't ask me anything, and I won't tell you any lies.
 Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons...and 85% morons.
 Frank Zappa
Facebook anonymous
I'm going to open a new Facebook account named 'Anonymous' so all the cool quotes will be attributed to me!

Clinton Thomas

Facebook Top 100
I childproofed my house but the kids still get in somehow. - Anonymous
I childproofed my house but the kids still get in somehow.
 Anonymous
Short Quotes
It's easy to stop smoking. I stopped smoking today with no problems. I also stopped yesterday too, and the day before that. Anonymous
Statements
Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery. Anonymous
Animals Short Quotes
I'm glad I don't have to hunt my own food, I don't even know where sandwiches live. - Anonymous
I'm glad I don't have to hunt my own food, I don't even know where sandwiches live.
 Anonymous
Eat Quotes Know Quotes Sayings
I didn't mean to gain weight, it just happened by snackcident. - Anonymous
I didn't mean to gain weight, it just happened by snackcident.
 Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Short Quotes
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