Why do you always see lightning first and hear the thunder later? Because your eyes are in front of your ears.
Bathroom sign above toilet: It's like basketball, the basket is bigger than the ball! Learn to score properly!
Don't disturb me, I am disturbed enough already.
Store front sign: Entire store on sale, everything $1 or more.
Newspaper ad: Hiring clowns, must be serious.
No, no, I'm listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once.
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