You can't have everything... where would you put it?
More Quotes by Steven Alexander Wright
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
If you had to choose between eating tacos every day or being skinny for life would you choose hard or soft tacos?
Did you just fall? No, I was checking if gravity still works.
Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working.
Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming.
You laugh because I'm different...........
I laugh cause I just farted!
Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
Newspaper ad: Hiring clowns, must be serious.
Two fleas are coming out of a bar when one asks the other 'Do we take a dog or do we walk home?'
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can't see.
Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.
It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it.
You know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent? That's why I never take baths.
Steven Alexander Wright
I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.
If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.
Don't be stupid, it might make you famous.
What animal can jump higher than a house? Any animal that can jump at all, because houses can't jump.
The last thing that blew my mind was the wind.
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