Steven Alexander Wright Quote
You can't have everything... where would you put it?
When you have a hammer in your hand everything around you starts looking like a nail. Anonymous
The most important thing in life is not knowing everything, it's having the phone number of somebody who does! Anonymous
What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. Woody Allen
A lot of people ask me if I were shipwrecked, and could only have one book, what would it be? I always say 'How to Build a Boat.' Steven Alexander Wright
If you had to choose between eating tacos every day or being skinny for life would you choose hard or soft tacos? Anonymous
Did you just fall? No, I was checking if gravity still works. Anonymous
Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working. Anonymous
Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming. Anonymous
Teacher: Why are you talking during my lesson? Student: Why are you teaching during my conversation? Anonymous
You laugh because I'm different........... I laugh cause I just farted! Anonymous
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room. Woody Allen
You know the speed of light; so what is the speed of dark? Anonymous
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid. Anonymous
After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."
Who are you and how did you get in here? Frank: I'm a locksmith. And... I'm a locksmith...