You can't have everything... where would you put it?
More Quotes by Steven Alexander Wright
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
If you had to choose between eating tacos every day or being skinny for life would you choose hard or soft tacos?
Did you just fall? No, I was checking if gravity still works.
Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working.
Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming.
Teacher: Why are you talking during my lesson? Student: Why are you teaching during my conversation?
You laugh because I'm different...........
I laugh cause I just farted!
Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'?
Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them.
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.
Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories...
It's easy to stop smoking. I stopped smoking today with no problems. I also stopped yesterday too, and the day before that.
Why is the sky blue? Sure there is an explanation, but lets just be thankful it's not red!
Why was the rabbit chasing the frog? Because the frog kept calling out "riaabit.. riabbit.."
When the cop told me to give him my first name and last name I told him, 'Are you crazy? What's my name going to be then?'
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.
Newspaper ad: Hiring clowns, must be serious.
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