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Every morning I do 10 sit-ups, to hit the snooze button on my alarm clock. - Anonymous

Every morning I do 10 sit-ups, to hit the snooze button on my alarm clock. Anonymous

Exercise Quotes Short Quotes

When someone yells stop I don't know whether it's in the name of love, it's Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers. - Anonymous

When someone yells stop I don't know whether it's in the name of love, it's Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers. Anonymous

Know Quotes Love Quotes Time Quotes

It's better to shut up and give the impression that you're stupid than to say something and erase all doubt. - Anonymous

It's better to shut up and give the impression that you're stupid than to say something and erase all doubt. Anonymous

I didn't mean to gain weight, it just happened by snackcident. - Anonymous

I didn't mean to gain weight, it just happened by snackcident. Anonymous

Exercise Quotes Short Quotes

My kitchen cleaner says "for a clean kitchen" so I can't use it, mine is dirty. - Anonymous

My kitchen cleaner says "for a clean kitchen" so I can't use it, mine is dirty. Anonymous

Short Quotes Top 100 Witty Quotes

I'm the kind of crazy you weren't warned about because no one knew this level existed. - Anonymous

I'm the kind of crazy you weren't warned about because no one knew this level existed. Anonymous

Life Quotes Top 100

What I do when I see someone pretty is, I stare, I smile then when I get tired I put the mirror down.

What I do when I see someone pretty is, I stare, I smile then when I get tired I put the mirror down. Anonymous

Whoever said great things come in small packages hasn't seen my big screen TV. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Whoever said great things come in small packages hasn't seen my big screen TV. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Short Quotes TV Quotes

Cupcakes

If you know how many cupcakes I'm holding behind my back I'll give you both of them. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Know Quotes

When I try on an outfit and it doesn't make me look good, I just throw it on the floor. Like, no, you don't deserve to be hung up, think about what you've done. - Anonymous

When I try on an outfit and it doesn't make me look good, I just throw it on the floor. Like, no, you don't deserve to be hung up, think about what you've done. Anonymous

Good Quotes Sayings Think Quotes

I wish that all of my enemies had three cars parked in front of their house. An ambulance, fire truck and police car. - Anonymous

I wish that all of my enemies had three cars parked in front of their house. An ambulance, fire truck and police car. Anonymous

You can stop driving me crazy, I can walk from here. - Anonymous

You can stop driving me crazy, I can walk from here. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes Top 100

Stupidity is far more fascinating than intelligence, after all intelligence has it's limits. - Anonymous

Stupidity is far more fascinating than intelligence, after all intelligence has it's limits. Anonymous

I put the "Pro" in procrastinate. - Anonymous

I put the "Pro" in procrastinate. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

I don't have the time or crayons to explain myself to you. - Anonymous

I don't have the time or crayons to explain myself to you. Anonymous

Short Quotes Time Quotes

Facebook anonymous

I'm going to open a new Facebook account named 'Anonymous' so all the cool quotes will be attributed to me!

Clinton Thomas

Facebook Top 100

You know your driving is really terrible when your GPS says 'After 300 feet, stop and let me out!'

You know your driving is really terrible when your GPS says 'After 300 feet, stop and let me out!' Anonymous

Know Quotes Top 100

Why didn't I use my turn signals? It's nobody's business where I'm going. - Anonymous

Why didn't I use my turn signals? It's nobody's business where I'm going. Anonymous

Questions Short Quotes Top 100

I'm not here to judge, I'm just pointing out all the mistakes you're making. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com

I'm not here to judge, I'm just pointing out all the mistakes you're making. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Short Quotes Witty Quotes

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker. Woody Allen

Marriage Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

I may not know Karate, but I know crazy and I'm not afraid to use it.

I may not know Karate, but I know crazy and I'm not afraid to use it. Anonymous

Know Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

I would go out of my mind, but I can't find the exit. - Anonymous

I would go out of my mind, but I can't find the exit. Anonymous

Near year 2013, resolutions you can keep.

New year resolutions you can actually keep!
Skip more classes in school.
Call in sick at work more.
Go shopping more often.
Eat more unhealthy food like fries and burgers.
Drink more pop cans instead of freshly squeezing healthy fruits.
Do less exercise and watch more TV.
Anonymous

Eat Quotes Exercise Quotes TV Quotes

Would you believe my neighbor was knocking on my door at 2:30AM this morning? Luckily, I was still up playing bagpipes. - Anonymous

Would you believe my neighbor was knocking on my door at 2:30AM this morning? Luckily, I was still up playing bagpipes. Anonymous

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