Stupid Funny Quotes
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. Henny Youngman
If we ever travel far in the universe to another planet with intelligent life, let's just make patterns in their crops and leave. Anonymous
Two fleas are coming out of a bar when one asks the other 'Do we take a dog or do we walk home?' Anonymous
Due to current economic conditions the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off. Anonymous
Chocolate doesn't ask silly questions, chocolate understands. Anonymous
When the cop told me to give him my first name and last name I told him, 'Are you crazy? What's my name going to be then?' Anonymous
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room. Woody Allen
After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."
I'll do the stupid thing first and then you shy people follow . Frank Zappa
It's so hot outside that I went to buy vegetables, and by the time I got home they turned into soup already. Anonymous
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.
Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person is completely stupid. Anonymous
I started thinking about the dangers of drinking on new year's eve. After that, I decided to stop thinking. Anonymous
I always help my wife out with housework such as washing the dishes and doing the laundry. She washes them, and I let them dry. Anonymous
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. Dave Barry
Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working. Anonymous
Stupidity is far more fascinating than intelligence, after all intelligence has it's limits. Anonymous
Did a cartwheel the other day, thinking it was like riding a bike. It's not. Anonymous
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