Stupid Funny Quotes
You know your driving is really terrible when your GPS says 'After 300 feet, stop and let me out!' Anonymous
Are you free tomorrow? No, tomorrow I'm still expensive. Anonymous
I just wanted you to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does. Anonymous
Today I was a hero. I rescued some beer that was trapped in a bottle. Anonymous
I did not trip and fall. I attacked the floor and I believe I am winning. Anonymous
After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."
If you think nothing is impossible, try slamming a revolving door. Anonymous
Instead of calling it the John I'm going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning. Anonymous
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits. Albert Einstein
Why didn't I use my turn signals? It's nobody's business where I'm going. Anonymous
It's so hot outside that I went to buy vegetables, and by the time I got home they turned into soup already. Anonymous
I didn't mean to gain weight, it just happened by snackcident. Anonymous
Displayed 46-60 of 168 quotes.