Stupid Funny Quotes

Fart when someone hugs you, it makes them feel strong.

Stupidity is far more fascinating than intelligence, after all intelligence has it's limits.

I did not trip and fall. I attacked the floor and I believe I am winning.

Are you free tomorrow? No, tomorrow I'm still expensive.

Be crazy, be stupid, be silly, be weird. Be whatever, because life is too short to be anything but happy.

It's so hot outside that I went to buy vegetables, and by the time I got home they turned into soup already.

An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough.

Why didn't I use my turn signals? It's nobody's business where I'm going.

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

I didn't mean to gain weight, it just happened by snackcident.

You know your driving is really terrible when your GPS says 'After 300 feet, stop and let me out!'

A stupid person laughs three times at a joke; once when everyone else is laughing, a second time when he actually gets the joke, and a third time when he realizes he was laughing without getting the joke at first.

I've made it from the bed to the couch. There's no stopping me now.