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It's easy to stop smoking. I stopped smoking today with no problems. I also stopped yesterday too, and the day before that.

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There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

Anonymous
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You laugh because I'm different........... I laugh cause I just farted! - Anonymous

You laugh because I'm different........... I laugh cause I just farted!

Anonymous
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Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Douglas Adams

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When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room. - Woody Allen

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

Woody Allen
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Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid. - Anonymous

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.

Anonymous
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After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."

Ronnie Shakes

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Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.

Anonymous
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I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them. - George W. Bush

I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them.

George W. Bush

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I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.

Henny Youngman
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Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories... - Steven Alexander Wright

Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories...

Steven Alexander Wright
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When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people. - Anonymous

When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.

Anonymous
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Newspaper ad: Hiring clowns, must be serious.

Anonymous
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Two fleas are coming out of a bar when one asks the other 'Do we take a dog or do we walk home?' - Anonymous

Two fleas are coming out of a bar when one asks the other 'Do we take a dog or do we walk home?'

Anonymous
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The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

Albert Einstein
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Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can't see.

Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can't see.

Anonymous
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Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.

Dave Barry
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It's so simple to be wise.

It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it.

Sam Levenson
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I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.

Steven Alexander Wright
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If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.

Jack Handey

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Don't be stupid, it might make you famous. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Don't be stupid, it might make you famous.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com
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The last thing that blew my mind was the wind. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com

The last thing that blew my mind was the wind.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com
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