Stupid Funny Quotes

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Instead of LOL why don't you try LOLWKASF: Laughing Out Loud While Keeping A Straight Face. Anonymous

I'm having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by... - Anonymous

I'm having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by... Anonymous

People Quotes Phone Witty Quotes

No, no, I'm listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once. - Anonymous

No, no, I'm listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once. Anonymous

I didn't fall, I'm just spending some quality time with the floor. - Anonymous

I didn't fall, I'm just spending some quality time with the floor. Anonymous

Why didn't Bruce Willis play the lead role in Titanic? He would have saved everyone. - Anonymous

Why didn't Bruce Willis play the lead role in Titanic? He would have saved everyone. Anonymous

Actual meanings of various terms.

Actual meanings of various terms:
TEAM WORK: Having somebody else you can blame it on.
HARDWARE: The part of a computer you can kick when there are software problems.
IMPATIENT: Somebody who is waiting in a hurry.
INFLATION: Paying today's prices with last year's salary.
Anonymous

Money Quotes Work Quotes

You can't have everything... where would you put it?

You can't have everything... where would you put it? Steven Alexander Wright

Questions Sayings Short Quotes

If you don't like your job, you don't strike! You just go in every day, and do it really half assed. That's the American way. - Homer Simpson

Simpsons

Stupidity is far more fascinating than intelligence, after all intelligence has it's limits. - Anonymous

Stupidity is far more fascinating than intelligence, after all intelligence has it's limits. Anonymous

My cell phone is acting up, I keep pressing the home button but when I look around, I'm still at work.

My cell phone is acting up, I keep pressing the home button but when I look around, I'm still at work. Anonymous

Phone Work Quotes

If we ever travel far in the universe to another planet with intelligent life, let's just make patterns in their crops and leave. - Anonymous

If we ever travel far in the universe to another planet with intelligent life, let's just make patterns in their crops and leave. Anonymous

Life Quotes Sayings

Dinosaurs never had coffee, and we see how that turned out. Anonymous

Bathroom sign above toilet: It's like basketball, the basket is bigger than the ball! Learn to score properly! Anonymous

Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects. Dave Barry

The problem with drinking and driving is that trees defend themselves very well. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com

The problem with drinking and driving is that trees defend themselves very well. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Drinking Funny Tree Quotes

It's easy to stop smoking. I stopped smoking today with no problems. I also stopped yesterday too, and the day before that. Anonymous

Don't disturb me, I am disturbed enough already.

Don't disturb me, I am disturbed enough already. Anonymous

My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors. - Anonymous

My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors. Anonymous

Short Quotes Think Quotes

Kids, I don't know if our ceiling is the best ceiling... but it's definitely up there. - Anonymous

Kids, I don't know if our ceiling is the best ceiling... but it's definitely up there. Anonymous

Whoever said great things come in small packages hasn't seen my big screen TV. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Whoever said great things come in small packages hasn't seen my big screen TV. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Short Quotes TV Quotes

Cupcakes

If you know how many cupcakes I'm holding behind my back I'll give you both of them. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Know Quotes

When someone yells stop I don't know whether it's in the name of love, it's Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers. - Anonymous

When someone yells stop I don't know whether it's in the name of love, it's Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers. Anonymous

Know Quotes Love Quotes Time Quotes

My advice is to never listen to any advice, not even this one. - Anonymous

My advice is to never listen to any advice, not even this one. Anonymous

Short Quotes Wise Quotes Witty Quotes

Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery. Anonymous

Animals Short Quotes

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