Stupid Funny Quotes

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I'll do the stupid thing first and then you shy people follow . - Frank Zappa

I'll do the stupid thing first and then you shy people follow . Frank Zappa

Moments People Quotes Short Quotes

Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Douglas Adams

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room. - Woody Allen

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room. Woody Allen

Moments Short Quotes

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The chains on my mood swing just snapped. Run! - Anonymous

The chains on my mood swing just snapped. Run! Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes

I would go out of my mind, but I can't find the exit. - Anonymous

I would go out of my mind, but I can't find the exit. Anonymous

I didn't mean to gain weight, it just happened by snackcident. - Anonymous

I didn't mean to gain weight, it just happened by snackcident. Anonymous

Exercise Quotes Short Quotes

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you. - Anonymous

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you. Anonymous

Animals Cat Quotes Short Quotes

Don't disturb me, I am disturbed enough already.

Don't disturb me, I am disturbed enough already. Anonymous

I'm trying to think how I can think of what I want to think.

I'm trying to think how I can think of what I want to think. Anonymous

Short Quotes Think Quotes

You know the potholes on a road are bad when they assign lifeguards to them, in case anybody falls inside. - Anonymous

You know the potholes on a road are bad when they assign lifeguards to them, in case anybody falls inside. Anonymous

Know Quotes Top 100

Today I was a hero. I rescued some beer that was trapped in a bottle. - Anonymous

Today I was a hero. I rescued some beer that was trapped in a bottle. Anonymous

Beer Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

Facebook anonymous

I'm going to open a new Facebook account named 'Anonymous' so all the cool quotes will be attributed to me!

Clinton Thomas

Facebook Top 100

Near year 2013, resolutions you can keep.

New year resolutions you can actually keep!
Skip more classes in school.
Call in sick at work more.
Go shopping more often.
Eat more unhealthy food like fries and burgers.
Drink more pop cans instead of freshly squeezing healthy fruits.
Do less exercise and watch more TV.
Anonymous

Eat Quotes Exercise Quotes TV Quotes

After a while, I eventually fell in love and there was nobody to pick me up.

After a while, I eventually fell in love and there was nobody to pick me up. Anonymous

Love Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

Don't ask me anything, and I won't tell you any lies.

Don't ask me anything, and I won't tell you any lies. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes

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My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors. - Anonymous

My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors. Anonymous

Short Quotes Think Quotes

Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects. Dave Barry

I'm glad I don't have to hunt my own food, I don't even know where sandwiches live. - Anonymous

I'm glad I don't have to hunt my own food, I don't even know where sandwiches live. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Know Quotes Sayings

Chocolate doesn't ask silly questions, chocolate understands. - Anonymous

Chocolate doesn't ask silly questions, chocolate understands. Anonymous

Questions Short Quotes Top 100

I don't understand what's bothering you honey, I bring you coffee in bed every morning, all you have to do is grind it. - Anonymous

I don't understand what's bothering you honey, I bring you coffee in bed every morning, all you have to do is grind it. Anonymous

Instead of calling it the John I'm going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning. - Anonymous

Instead of calling it the John I'm going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning. Anonymous

Exercise Quotes Top 100

Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories... - Steven Alexander Wright

Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories... Steven Alexander Wright

Life Quotes Short Quotes Think Quotes

If we ever travel far in the universe to another planet with intelligent life, let's just make patterns in their crops and leave. - Anonymous

If we ever travel far in the universe to another planet with intelligent life, let's just make patterns in their crops and leave. Anonymous

Life Quotes Sayings

Actual meanings of various terms.

Actual meanings of various terms:
TEAM WORK: Having somebody else you can blame it on.
HARDWARE: The part of a computer you can kick when there are software problems.
IMPATIENT: Somebody who is waiting in a hurry.
INFLATION: Paying today's prices with last year's salary.
Anonymous

Money Quotes Work Quotes

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