Stupid Funny Quotes
He grabbed her hand and held it tightly, and she thought, "he loves me!" And he thought, "wow this sidewalk is icy!"
Anonymous
In beer there is freedom, in wine there is health, in cognac there is power and in water there is bacteria.
Anonymous
Your mind needs exercise just as much as your body does, that's why I think of jogging every day.
Anonymous
Actual meanings of various terms:
TEAM WORK: Having somebody else you can blame it on.
HARDWARE: The part of a computer you can kick when there are software problems.
IMPATIENT: Somebody who is waiting in a hurry.
INFLATION: Paying today's prices with last year's salary.
Anonymous
TEAM WORK: Having somebody else you can blame it on.
HARDWARE: The part of a computer you can kick when there are software problems.
IMPATIENT: Somebody who is waiting in a hurry.
INFLATION: Paying today's prices with last year's salary.
Anonymous
New year resolutions you can actually keep!
Skip more classes in school. Call in sick at work more.
Go shopping more often.
Eat more unhealthy food like fries and burgers.
Drink more pop cans instead of freshly squeezing healthy fruits.
Do less exercise and watch more TV.
Anonymous
Skip more classes in school. Call in sick at work more.
Go shopping more often.
Eat more unhealthy food like fries and burgers.
Drink more pop cans instead of freshly squeezing healthy fruits.
Do less exercise and watch more TV.
Anonymous
I wish that all of my enemies had three cars parked in front of their house. An ambulance, fire truck and police car.
Anonymous
You know your driving is really terrible when your GPS says 'After 300 feet, stop and let me out!'
Anonymous
Displayed 97-120 of 166 quotes.