If you know how many cupcakes I'm holding behind my back I'll give you both of them.
I never apologize. I’m sorry, but that’s just the way I am..
In my house dirty dishes are like rabbits, they keep multiplying.
The only English words I saw in Japan were Sony and Mitsubishi.
After many years of studying my Geography book I finally know by heart that Australia is on page 23.
Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees
I lost control. Offering reward to anyone who finds it.
When inspiration does not come to me, I go halfway to meet it.
It's so hot outside that I went to buy vegetables, and by the time I got home they turned into soup already.
Why do you always see lightning first and hear the thunder later? Because your eyes are in front of your ears.
Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.
But doctor, where is the umbilical cord? New technology, it's wireless.
I childproofed my house but the kids still get in somehow.
I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.
Steven Alexander Wright
Bathroom sign above toilet: It's like basketball, the basket is bigger than the ball! Learn to score properly!
When the cop told me to give him my first name and last name I told him, 'Are you crazy? What's my name going to be then?'
It snowed so much last night that this morning my backyard was full of penguins.
I don't understand what's bothering you honey, I bring you coffee in bed every morning, all you have to do is grind it.
CoolFunnyQuotes.com © 2019