Stupid Funny Quotes

Good friends don't let their friends do stupid things alone.

Anonymous

If what you've done is stupid but it works, then it really isn't that stupid at all.

David Letterman

If you can't find your better half, try finding your better two quarters.

Anonymous

Would you believe my neighbor was knocking on my door at 2:30AM this morning? Luckily, I was still up playing bagpipes.

Anonymous

How come iPhone chargers are not called apple juice?

Anonymous

If you think nothing is impossible, try slamming a revolving door.

Anonymous

Did you just fall? No, I was checking if gravity still works.

Anonymous

A stupid person laughs three times at a joke; once when everyone else is laughing, a second time when he actually gets the joke, and a third time when he realizes he was laughing without getting the joke at first.

Anonymous

I follow a rigorous exercise routine that I never get lazy about; fetching beer bottles from the fridge.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.

Anonymous

I don't mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.

Anonymous

Alcohol, what's that? It's not in my vodkabulary, but let me check in whiskypedia.

Anonymous

I may not know Karate, but I know crazy and I'm not afraid to use it.

Anonymous

Sometimes I'm grateful that thoughts don't appear as bubbles over our heads.

Anonymous

I just wanted you to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.

Anonymous

My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors.

Anonymous

It's better to shut up and give the impression that you're stupid than to say something and erase all doubt.

Anonymous

In beer there is freedom, in wine there is health, in cognac there is power and in water there is bacteria.

Anonymous