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Today I was a hero. I rescued some beer that was trapped in a bottle. - Anonymous

Today I was a hero. I rescued some beer that was trapped in a bottle. Anonymous

Beer Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

I'm multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time. - Anonymous

I'm multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time. Anonymous

Short Quotes Time Quotes Top 100

Are you free tomorrow? No, tomorrow I'm still expensive. Anonymous

Money Quotes People Quotes Short Quotes

Just because I can't sing doesn't mean that I won't sing. - Anonymous

Just because I can't sing doesn't mean that I won't sing. Anonymous

Short Quotes Statements

If you had to choose between eating tacos every day or being skinny for life would you choose hard or soft tacos? - Anonymous

If you had to choose between eating tacos every day or being skinny for life would you choose hard or soft tacos? Anonymous

Questions Top 100

Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working. - Anonymous

Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working. Anonymous

Questions Top 100

I want to be cuddled, but I also want to be left alone. Being crazy is hard. Anonymous

I didn't fall, I'm just spending some quality time with the floor. - Anonymous

I didn't fall, I'm just spending some quality time with the floor. Anonymous

Cupcakes

If you know how many cupcakes I'm holding behind my back I'll give you both of them. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Know Quotes

When I try on an outfit and it doesn't make me look good, I just throw it on the floor. Like, no, you don't deserve to be hung up, think about what you've done. - Anonymous

When I try on an outfit and it doesn't make me look good, I just throw it on the floor. Like, no, you don't deserve to be hung up, think about what you've done. Anonymous

Good Quotes Sayings Think Quotes

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe. Albert Einstein

You can't have everything... where would you put it?

You can't have everything... where would you put it? Steven Alexander Wright

Questions Sayings Short Quotes

I put the "Pro" in procrastinate. - Anonymous

I put the "Pro" in procrastinate. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

Emo Philips

Computers Short Quotes

Instead of LOL why don't you try LOLWKASF: Laughing Out Loud While Keeping A Straight Face. Anonymous

My advice is to never listen to any advice, not even this one. - Anonymous

My advice is to never listen to any advice, not even this one. Anonymous

Short Quotes Wise Quotes Witty Quotes

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid. - Anonymous

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid. Anonymous

I've made it from the bed to the couch. There's no stopping me now. - Anonymous

I've made it from the bed to the couch. There's no stopping me now. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

I know that I am stupid but when I look around me I feel a lot better. - Anonymous

I know that I am stupid but when I look around me I feel a lot better. Anonymous

Know Quotes Short Quotes

A cop pulled me over and told me "Papers", so I said "Scissors, I win!" and drove off. - Anonymous

A cop pulled me over and told me "Papers", so I said "Scissors, I win!" and drove off. Anonymous

Top 100 Wise Quotes

Fart when someone hugs you, it makes them feel strong.

Fart when someone hugs you, it makes them feel strong. Anonymous

Short Quotes Top 100

Don't ask me anything, and I won't tell you any lies.

Don't ask me anything, and I won't tell you any lies. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes

Officer: I had a feeling I'd catch someone speeding here. Driver: I know, that's why I came as fast as I could!

Officer: I had a feeling I'd catch someone speeding here. Driver: I know, that's why I came as fast as I could! Anonymous

No, no, I'm listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once. - Anonymous

No, no, I'm listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once. Anonymous

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