Stupid Funny Quotes

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I'm not suffering from insanity, I'm enjoying every minute of it.

I'm not suffering from insanity, I'm enjoying every minute of it. Anonymous

I'm trying to think how I can think of what I want to think.

I'm trying to think how I can think of what I want to think. Anonymous

Short Quotes Think Quotes

I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them. - George W. Bush

I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them.

George W. Bush

Prescribed laughter

My doctor prescribed laughter as the most efficient medicine. Unfortunately the pharmacist said too many people were crying from laughter so it's no longer available. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

People Quotes Witty Quotes

Why didn't Bruce Willis play the lead role in Titanic? He would have saved everyone. - Anonymous

Why didn't Bruce Willis play the lead role in Titanic? He would have saved everyone. Anonymous

The only English words I saw in Japan were Sony and Mitsubishi. - Bill Gullickson

The only English words I saw in Japan were Sony and Mitsubishi.

Bill Gullickson

It snowed so much last night that this morning my backyard was full of penguins.

It snowed so much last night that this morning my backyard was full of penguins. Anonymous

Store front sign: Entire store on sale, everything $1 or more. Anonymous

But doctor, where is the umbilical cord? New technology, it's wireless. - Anonymous

But doctor, where is the umbilical cord? New technology, it's wireless. Anonymous

Stop saying "B4" instead of "Before," you're ruining my Bingo game.

Stop saying "B4" instead of "Before," you're ruining my Bingo game. Anonymous

I always intended to pay for my sins, but I could never afford it. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com

I always intended to pay for my sins, but I could never afford it. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Money Quotes Never Quotes Short Quotes

In my house dirty dishes are like rabbits, they keep multiplying.

In my house dirty dishes are like rabbits, they keep multiplying. Anonymous

I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place. Steven Alexander Wright

I am so broke, I can't even afford to fill up my bicycle. - Anonymous

I am so broke, I can't even afford to fill up my bicycle. Anonymous

Money Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

Newspaper ad: Hiring clowns, must be serious. Anonymous

If you can't find your better half, try finding your better two quarters. - Anonymous

If you can't find your better half, try finding your better two quarters. Anonymous

If you don't like your job, you don't strike! You just go in every day, and do it really half assed. That's the American way. - Homer Simpson

Simpsons

The last thing that blew my mind was the wind. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com

The last thing that blew my mind was the wind. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery. Anonymous

Animals Short Quotes

I lost control. Offering reward to anyone who finds it.

I lost control. Offering reward to anyone who finds it. Anonymous

It's easy to stop smoking. I stopped smoking today with no problems. I also stopped yesterday too, and the day before that. Anonymous

I don't have the time or crayons to explain myself to you. - Anonymous

I don't have the time or crayons to explain myself to you. Anonymous

Short Quotes Time Quotes

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