Did a cartwheel the other day, thinking it was like riding a bike. It's not.
After a lot of research, scientists have concluded that the most vitamins are found in the pharmacy.
Kids, I don't know if our ceiling is the best ceiling... but it's definitely up there.
The only English words I saw in Japan were Sony and Mitsubishi.
Bill Gullickson
I don't understand what's bothering you honey, I bring you coffee in bed every morning, all you have to do is grind it.
I childproofed my house but the kids still get in somehow.
It snowed so much last night that this morning my backyard was full of penguins.
Why didn't Bruce Willis play the lead role in Titanic? He would have saved everyone.
Beginner pilot rules: 1. The propeller is just a big fan made to cool down the pilot in the cockpit. When it stops, you can see the pilot start sweating excessively. 2. You don't have to take off, but landing is mandatory. 3. Pushing forward on the flight stick makes the earth look bigger, pulling makes it look smaller. If you pull too much or too long however, it will look bigger yet again. 4. Flying is safe as long as you don't crash. 5. It's better to wish you were flying than to wish you were on the ground. 6. A good landing is a landing in which everyone walks away. 7. Besides affecting apples, gravity also affects planes.
Bathroom sign above toilet: It's like basketball, the basket is bigger than the ball! Learn to score properly!
Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees
David Letterman
In my house dirty dishes are like rabbits, they keep multiplying.
I'm not suffering from insanity, I'm enjoying every minute of it.
