Stupid Funny Quotes

Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

In my house dirty dishes are like rabbits, they keep multiplying.

Your legs must be tired because you have been running through my mind all night.

I'm not frowning, I'm just smiling upside down.

I childproofed my house but the kids still get in somehow.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

You laugh because I'm different........... I laugh cause I just farted!

Due to current economic conditions the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.

I don't have the time or crayons to explain myself to you.

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person is completely stupid.

Did a cartwheel the other day, thinking it was like riding a bike. It's not.

What's happening with your phone, every time I call you it says 'The subscriber you're calling is a monkey, please contact the zoo.'

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.

I want to be cuddled, but I also want to be left alone. Being crazy is hard.