When inspiration does not come to me, I go halfway to meet it.
If you had to choose between eating tacos every day or being skinny for life would you choose hard or soft tacos?
I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.
I'm trying to think how I can think of what I want to think.
Finally it's Friday and I can go out. I'm putting the garbage out and I'll be right back.
Two fleas are coming out of a bar when one asks the other 'Do we take a dog or do we walk home?'
I don't have the time or crayons to explain myself to you.
I'm not crazy, my unicorn just needs a tuneup.
After a while, I eventually fell in love and there was nobody to pick me up.
I am so broke, I can't even afford to fill up my bicycle.
I want to be cuddled, but I also want to be left alone. Being crazy is hard.
Instead of LOL why don't you try LOLWKASF: Laughing Out Loud While Keeping A Straight Face.
I'm having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by...
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