Two fleas are coming out of a bar when one asks the other 'Do we take a dog or do we walk home?'
More Quotes by Anonymous
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
You laugh because I'm different...........
I laugh cause I just farted!
Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them.
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.
Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories...
It's easy to stop smoking. I stopped smoking today with no problems. I also stopped yesterday too, and the day before that.
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.
What did the dog say after walking in the desert for hours? If I don't find a tree soon I'm gonna pee on myself.
Newspaper ad: Hiring clowns, must be serious.
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can't see.
Newspaper Ad. FREE PUPPIES: Half cocker spaniel, half sneaky neighbors dog.
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing, right in your ear.
Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.
It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it.
I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.
If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.
Don't be stupid, it might make you famous.
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