Stupid Funny Quotes

Chocolate doesn't ask silly questions, chocolate understands.

I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I'm gonna need everybody to stop living here.

Fart when someone hugs you, it makes them feel strong.

My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors.

After many years of studying my Geography book I finally know by heart that Australia is on page 23.

Did a cartwheel the other day, thinking it was like riding a bike. It's not.

It's so hot outside that I went to buy vegetables, and by the time I got home they turned into soup already.

I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Kids, I don't know if our ceiling is the best ceiling... but it's definitely up there.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

Alcohol, what's that? It's not in my vodkabulary, but let me check in whiskypedia.

I'm not suffering from insanity, I'm enjoying every minute of it.