Stupid Funny Quotes
Officer: I had a feeling I'd catch someone speeding here. Driver: I know, that's why I came as fast as I could!
Anonymous
Why do you always see lightning first and hear the thunder later? Because your eyes are in front of your ears.
Anonymous
It's better to shut up and give the impression that you're stupid than to say something and erase all doubt.
Anonymous
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
George Burns
I started thinking about the dangers of drinking on new year's eve. After that, I decided to stop thinking.
Anonymous
He grabbed her hand and held it tightly, and she thought, "he loves me!" And he thought, "wow this sidewalk is icy!"
Anonymous
Displayed 136-150 of 168 quotes.